Category: Curing Anxiety

thesoulcureforanxiety.com

5 Tricks To Get Off Your Butt and (Finally) Meditate

My sister had a teacher in third grade who tried to teach her students to meditate.  That was over 30 year ago and I still remember her little hands trying to imitate the “Om” hand posture while making fun of what she had learned.    Well, It turns out she that her hippy teacher was way ahead of her time.
 

Things have changed. Over the last 15 years, meditation has become mainstream, along with yoga, reiki, and very fibrous kale.  As the creator of Advanced Holistic Counseling tm, a  fresh modern therapy model that combines the best of Traditional Psychotherapy with the best Holistic Modalities and Alternative Tools, I am ecstatic that being still is finally being recognized for the physical, emotional, mental, and material transformations it creates.    I LOVE that people are realizing that mediation, mindfulness, and visualization can create feelings of peace, help to manifest abundance, and have even been scientifically demonstrated to change brain functioning in a research project with the Dali Lama.    But, even though meditation has gone mainstream, why aren’t most people actually doing it? 

 

“Even though meditation has gone mainstream,
why aren’t most people actually doing it?” 


So…Why Aren’t YOU Meditating?
If meditating is so darn good for you, why aren’t you doing it? (Note: If you are meditating on a daily basis, read on anyway because I’ve got tips for my yogi friends too).

Most of you aren’t getting down with your daily Om for two reasons: time and know-how. You don’t make the time for it in your busy lives and you don’t know what to do to maximize the results of sitting and “doing nothing”.

Let’s solve both right now.

 

5 EASY WAYS TO GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND (FINALLY) SIT DOWN TO MEDITATE
1) Stop seeing this as a “have” to and realize it’s a “get to”. This is your one chance everyday to sit down, do nothing, and not feel guilty about it.  Start realizing it’s actually productive to “be still”.  Change your thinking to:  “Finally, I GET TO meditate!”  
2) Ritualize it. Get it into your routine the way you brush your teeth or make your bed. For example,  meditating after you eat your lunch everyday makes it a habit that you will remember. 
3) Plan it for when you need it. Plan your meditation for a time during the day when you are desperate for quiet or down time. What time of day are you wiped or need to recharge? Once you see how great it feels to relax you will be clamoring to get to your meditation everyday.
4) Just give yourself 10 minutes. Optimal meditations are 15-30 minutes but most people can commit to and will benefit from less. I even have a 7 minute “Immediate Peace Meditation” you can get by putting your email in here .
5) Make unused time feel good! Meditate during these unlikely times and you will easily fit it in your busy schedule: outside during your lunch break, on the train while commuting with itunes meditation music on, in your car while waiting for your child’s pre-k class to let out, when your friend is running late, in the middle of the night when you can’t go back to sleep, anytime you would normally watch a boring repeat on tv.

5 EASY WAYS TO MAXIMIZE YOUR MEDITATIONS
1) Take the pressure off. Meditation doesn’t have to be some big deal. If you are tired, use the time to just rest your eyes and BE. Allow yourself nod off or let your mind wander. Put music on to help soothe you. The goal is relaxation, especially when you are just learning.
2) Expect nothing and you will do it right. Most people feel like they have failed when they try to meditate because they simply can’t stop thinking. But asking your mind not to think is like expecting the ocean not to wave. Don’t expect yourself to be blissful and void of thought when first learning.
3) Use lavender. Get a small bottle of lavender oil from the local health food store and dab some of your wrists as you ready yourself to meditate. Inhale the smell deeply.
4) Let everything come and go. You will think of many things while sitting quietly. This is normal and fine. Every thought wants your attention like a demanding little child. Just notice each thought and let it pass like a cloud in the sky. Your thoughts will slow down over time.
5) Fill your mind with beauty. If your mind is busy, give it good things to think about: Imagine the wonderful summer you are going to enjoy, remember a lovely sunny day or a fun memory, envision something you want to create, imagine white divine healing light gently flowing over your head and whole body.

 

BONUS:  FILL YOURSELF WITH LIGHT. Sit down and think of 5 things you are grateful for. Imagine each item causing your heart to fill with more and more pink light. Once your heart is full, send this light out to fill the room you are sitting in and then send it to people you want to receive your love and healing.

 

“Making meditation hard defeats the whole purpose.
Start by giving yourself some quiet time everyday. Over time, you can add new bells & whistles to your practice…but first just build an enjoyable habit. “


JUST SAY YES

Life is full of no’s and challenges. Why not just say yes to making meditating easy and yes to making some quiet time for yourself everyday? If you’re skeptical about your return on investment and whether your time will be worth it, consider one of my clients who was suffering from postpartum who felt overwhelmed when she was stuck in the house with a new baby during the winter. She told me she’s “not too into that kinda thing” because “it seems kinda weird.”     No problem, I said, but let’s just give it a whirl anyhoo because something needs to change, right?  So I sent her my 5 FREE guided audio meditations you can get by signing up here, hoping she would give it a try. I got a call from her the other day. Turns out she’s been giving herself the gift of being quiet…and it’s paying off enormously.

 

 

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

 

When Your Anxious Mind Is Like A Wild Horse: How To Sit Up and Take The Reigns

If you have anxiety, sometimes it can feel like your mind just takes off like a wild horse. This may leave you feeling like you are bouncing around on the saddle, just trying to get through the latest bumpy ride of panic, stress, or exhausting episode of life. Believing your mind is not in your control often leads to self-medicating (eating, drinking, sleeping), acting-out (crying, yelling, procrastination), more negative thinking, depressing ruminations, and being so “in your head” that you can’t enjoy the moment or be present. The thing is, anxiety makes you forget just how POWERFUL you are.  You need to learn how to sit up, take the reigns, and start steering that horse in the direction you want to go. Because after all, you are the master of your mind…and your own life.

Here are the top three steps you can take when you realize your mind has wandered off track and is busy thinking about stuff that isn’t going to serve you in any way:


1) Notice You Are Off Course:  The first key here is to realize that you are thinking and feeling about things that make you feel bad and that aren’t leading to positive change or solutions. Take several deep belly breaths to reduce your adrenaline and make a choice.  Ask yourself “Do I want to feel bad or good?”  “Do I want to help this situation?”  If you answered in the affirmative, move on to step 2. If you aren’t sure you want to feel better, don’t judge yourself, but be okay with not feeling okay.  Remember, it’s a choice.


2) Recognize Your Power: The anxious mind is powerful, no doubt.  It’s often been reinforced by years of habits and neurological wiring that enables it to just hit “play” on the same old record, causing your feelings, thoughts, and body to all do the fear jig on cue.  But realizing that the mind works for you means that you can mentally hit the “stop” button on that tired old record.  Your anxiety is a part of you but is not actually you.  If you can notice it, you can take charge of it.  See it for what it is:  just a fear- based response to life that is acting out the same part it has many, many times before.

But you are the master, you are in charge, and you get to decide what you think about-  and what you don’t.  If you want to think about your 5 favorite kinds of flowers,  your funniest high school memory, or the most beautiful tree on your block you can.    If you want to think about the worst mistakes you made at work this week, why you will never get married, or the recent ways your friends let you down, you can think about that too.

What you focus on is all about choice.  But I know how tenacious the anxious mind is and how it will veer, over and over, down the tempting negative path.  Sometimes it will notice you’ve become lax about keeping your positive focus and will gallop off into the sunset with horrible ideas about you and your life. After all, it’s a creature of habit.  But you have the reigns and you need to be vigilant.  Sit up, pull them in closer to you, and steer yourself (over and over and over) back to the thoughts that feel better. That horse will get the message over time, that life is okay enough, good enough, and safe enough for you to actually enjoy the blessings you put your focus on.


3) Make It Easier On Yourself: It’s way simpler and more effective to steer the mind when you have slept enough, when you eat regularly and keep your blood sugars balanced (low blood sugars make you moody and feel a whole lot like adrenaline), when you don’t drink 5 cups of coffee (or at least drink mostly decaf and tons of water), when you take a walk everyday (or at least 4 days a week), and when do basic meditation or sit still and belly breathe.  The body will work with you if you set it up for success. Some people take GABA (to supplement the brain’s natural tranquilizer that is very low in people with anxiety) or Calmes Forte (a homeopathic medicine for anxiety) to help the body help the mind. Learn to belly breath (learn how with this teaching video) and use the energy healing method “Tapping” (try one of my Tapping videos ) to reduce fear in any moment. Practices like these help the mind work for you.
Here’s an EFT Sequence to use to open the heart and allow in miracles


Your mind can be re-trained but it needs support from the physical, energetic, and spiritual parts of you, too.  If, after trying to control or guide your mind to think more positive, you have given up because it just doesn’t seem to work, don’t lose hope. It does and will change if you truly realize that you are in charge. Sit up and take those reigns time and time again, knowing you are reconditioning the beast that has been taking you for a ride.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

Just Say No To The New Normal: 6 Steps To Start A Revolution Against Stress, Worry and Anxiety

If you’re anything like me, you might be getting alarmed at our new emotional normal these days. You know how everyone worries, talks about stress, and is anxious in one way or another? Now, we know that stress has always existed for humans – after all, it’s the very stress hormone (adrenaline) we are blessed with that has enabled us to fight or flight throughout thousands of years to get to where we are today.

Unfortunately, we are overusing this stress response that was supposed to be used for survival purposes only as our everyday life experiences, such as traffic jams or frustrations at work spark a cascade of thoughts, emotions and chemical reactions that tell us we should tense up, breathe shallowly, have racing thoughts, and lose concentration. And even though we all know being stressed is a routine experience in our demanding lives, I’ve noticed that somehow being worried and anxious have also become part of the new and accepted normal as well.

In my psychotherapy, life coaching, and energy healing practice, I specialize (in part) in treating stress, worry, and anxiety so naturally I expect to spend my days teaching people the tools and making the shifts necessary to eradicate this unnecessary condition. In fact, it is a true blessing to witness the freedom they experience as they align with who they truly and end the suffering that stress, worry, and anxiety has caused in their lives.

But I’ve noticed the baseline of everyday anxiety has increased for the masses. If I think of the 15 closest people to me in life, I can easily give examples of how each one stresses, worries, or has anxiety that interferes with their happiness in life. Their levels of stress, worry, or anxiety (or what I call S.W.A) may not meet clinical proportions, but their lives would be greatly improved if they didn’t have to waste their precious life energy on the act of worrying, fretting, racing, pushing, ruminating, or generally feeling pressured or negative.

In other words, you no longer need to have a clinical diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder to lay awake at night with worry, think of the worst things that could happen, have inner dialogues battling your own ruminations and self doubt, race around like a chicken without a head, assume the worst about others or yourself, become overwhelmed by paperwork and to-do lists, not sit still until 10 pm, or avoid taking risks or feeling feelings because it could make you anxious. Or maybe the new normal is that many more people actually do meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Either one is not okay.

Stress, worry, and anxiety are SO normal that the word “stress” in an article headlines actually get’s a big yawn from readers because it’s not new or sexy enough. “Stress” as a topic is pretty boring because lots of people simply endure it as if it is an expected bi-product of life, i.e. that it’s a price one has to pay to get other good things they want, is a badge of honor about how busy or successful they are, or is just a cultural norm that gets modeled and repeated over and over.

So I’m thinking we need a big, ol’ revolution! Today I am inviting- even inciting- you to put your foot down about the stress, worry, and anxiety in your life and say no to the new norm. Become a cultural revolutionary on the leading edge and take these steps to be…not normal!

Here’s How To Just Say No To The New Normal:

 1) Get mad about stress, worry, and anxiety and declare that you will not live this precious life in a state of stress and fear-based emotions. What a waste! Then replace the mad feeling with love for yourself and commit to living in a more harmonious way with yourself and your world.

2) Get busy learning new ways to shift your current habits to new ones. S.W.A. is very treatable and curable. There are tools and shifts that truly work. This means get a therapist, coach, self-help book, or group that is committed to helping you reduce your stress response behaviors and increase your joy quotient.

3) Learn to meditate. Seriously, it’s time. You’ve wanted to learn for years or people have told you to, so wait no longer. Meditation isn’t just for new-agers anymore. Everybody who feels happier is doing it and it’s more accessible than ever:
CLICK HERE to get these free guided meditations.

4) Slow and steady wins the race. Make changes, like writing in a gratitude journal everyday or grounding yourself with a daily walk, with commitment, consistency, and patience, Over time, it will make a measurable difference.

5) Shoot for 90%- You are probably not going to eliminate all of your S.W.A. and some of it has VERY useful benefits, so let’s aim for only being in a state of stress only 10% of everyday. The rest of the day will be met with a different way of life and heart.

6) Remember two important messages: This is YOUR LIFE and LOVE IS THE ANSWER. Everything else is just filler.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

5 TIPS TO HELP ANXIOUS AND NEGATIVE TEENS

HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW ANXIOUS AND STRESSED ADOLESCENTS ARE THESE DAYS?

It seems like negative thinking, overwhelm, and even depression plagues many of our young people.

This can be very worrisome and frustrating for parents, teachers, and guidance counselors.  It often leaves them feeling helpless about what to do and confused about what is wrong.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE FLAGS:  ANXIETY AND NEGATIVITY ARE SIGNS OF IMBALANCE
There are many important reasons why young people are experiencing low moods and high stress. Anxiety and depression often feed each other because hopelessness leads to overwhelm, and worry creates more powerlessness.

These heavy feelings drive unhealthy coping methods like anger, withdrawing, self-harm, drug & alcohol use, procrastinating, acting out, or pretending like everything is okay while they collapse inside.

Even if the teens in your life aren’t suffering from mood issues, you may notice a lot of “negative thinking”.  They might have a “ho-hum” belief that life is out of their control and “just happens” to them. Or they may “negatively forecast” about what will go wrong in the future and see the “down side” of everything.   This way of thinking usually becomes habitual and automatic, and needs to be re-wired now before it becomes a  way of life.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE DE-STRESS AND FEEL POSITIVE

1) MODEL POSITIVITY:  You’ve heard the expression “Be the change you wish to see in the world”.  If you would like to see more positive, powerful thinking in your teen, begin to embody this yourself.  Check your own negative thinking and anxiety:  do you worry, negatively project into the future, hold yourself or others back because of fear, lack confidence, or feel powerless in life?  Our young people are mirroring what they have learned from us…so get conscious of what you say and how you behave and SHOW them how to be more positive.

2) UNSCHEDULE: We often set up our lives in a way that creates stress-  over-scheduling and having too much to do makes it impossible to feel calm and centered.   Young people are learning that being overwhelmed is a normal way to function.  Being out of balance is bad for all of us-  and a child’s anxiety let’s adults know it’s time to make changes.  Even though you can’t eliminate everything in your schedule, make a commitment to dial back your commitments. Consider  making one night a week “family night” where you don’t have anything on the schedule except going for a bike ride or having dinner together.

Top 5 Tips Helping Teens Who are Anxious

3) CONSCIOUSLY CONNECT: If your family scatters to their electronic corners when you are together, it’s time to unplug for a purpose.  Will they object?  Yup.  Will you?  Probably, but that’s okay.  Teens are not going to ask you to connect with them and probably don’t think they need it.  But time together translates into a feeling of support and love.  Although we all need down time, but the intense amount of technology in our lives causes overstimulation and disconnect.  Plus, social media and negative news have many downsides. Help your child (and yourself) by carving out “technology-free” time.  Talk, take a walk, ride bikes, play a game, garden, eat without being in front of the TV, volunteer as a family, and did I mention TALK yet?

4) GET INTO NATURE:  There’s a reason why you actually feel better when you take a walk, especially if it’s in nature.  First, those natural anti-depressants get kicking.  Second, the chi of trees is so high that they literally will take the toxins from us and return clean energy to our beings.  If you want to feel better when stressed, go take a walk- in nature preferably.  Do this with your teens to show them how exercise and nature are a daily part of maintaining a positive mood.

5) ASK HOW YOU CAN HELP… AND ACTUALLY LISTEN: This might seems strange, but if you want to know how to help someone, ASK! Communicating is underused as a way to solve problems.  But it’s not just asking that helps-  it’s HOW we ask and HOW we listen.  So try this:  ask your teen “How would you like me to help you during this time? How can I support you?”  Then LISTEN to the answer, without defensiveness or needing to control their path. Just listen.  Your presence means more than your solutions.    And always validate by saying  “I am so sorry that happened to you. ”  Ask them if they would like your help to solve the problem or just want a listening ear. If they are ready for counseling, we can teach them the skills and tools for a lifetime of happiness.
BONUS TIP:
Kids need to learn how powerful they are.  We can teach them the practical tools and skills to consciously manifest their lives.  Have them start by making affirmations like “I am strong and can handle anything” or “Life flows easily”.  Making Vision Boards is a fun way to help them become powerful creators. Deep breathing and meditation are instant fixes for anxiety.

Don’t know how?  We can help!  The group below is a great way to start and we also have individual counseling for young people. Contact Beth Miller, LCSW, CEC, Positive Energy Counseling Center

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

HOW TO MANIFEST WITH THE SUPERMOON

The Supermoon is where The moon will be the closest it has been to the earth in almost 70 years and this won’t happen again for a long time. 

It should be pretty cool, the moon will seem HUUUGEEE, and will definitely pack even more of a punch on your life than typical full moons.  Heads up: moons influence water and you are made up of about 87% of the stuff. That said, you might notice that you are more emotional on Monday-  so stay away from conflict or charged situations to say the least.

 

Instead, use this ritual that I created to take advantage of the Supermoon and to harness it’s power.  Take the time to write out the answers to the below steps. Then, on Monday, once the moon is out, go outside and read each section beneath the moon.  This ritual will help you intentionally release what no longer serves you, and manifest what you now desire. 

 

HOW TO MANIFEST WITH THE SUPERMOON 

 Step 1:  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

A grateful heart draws more to it to be grateful for. Write down the many things you are grateful for in your life.  Say to the moon “Thank you, thank you, thank you” for each one of these things.

 

Step 2: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I RELEASE:

Out with the old and in with the new. Write down all of the behaviors, experiences, traumas, beliefs, lack of forgiveness, negative emotions, things that are holding you back, addictions, etc that you are reading to let go of. Think of this as cleaning your house of clutter and garbage so that you can allow new stuff into your life. 

 

Step 3: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I MANIFEST:

Now it’s time to dream both big and small. Write down all of the things you want to bring into your life now.  What are the new beliefs, experiences, miracles, opportunities, people, items, or relationships you desire? Be specific, tangible, and clear. And then get ready to allow in what you ask for.

 

Step 4: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I BLESS:

Use the power of the moon to send out positive energy. Write down all of the people you wish to bless, the situations you want to send peace to, the people that need help, the health issues that need healing.  Bless your friends and your “enemies”. You can even bless your bank account or unpaid student loan.  No harm in sending positive energy to all aspects of you life!

 

Step 5: THANK YOU

Give thanks once again for this opportunity and your relationship with the greater universe.

 

Step 6: CONNECT WITH YOUR SOUL

This may seem extra woo-woo-ish but I promise it works, so be willing to feel silly to get the results.

 Write down 5- 10 beliefs that you desire to be true about yourself (I.e. I am loved and loving, I am secure and confident, I am powerful, I am deeply happy, I am great at manifesting, I am a paid artist, I have a successful career, etc)

Go find a mirror and look yourself in the eyes and repeat these affirmations while looking into your own eyes.  Mind you, this will feel a little freaky.  You will start having an awareness that you are connecting to a very intense- and perhaps foreign part of you.  Basically, you are connecting deeply into your soul and this communication will then create change in your world. It’s like programming or harmonizing with the core part of you and bringing the truth of your soul to the earthly plane. 

FYI: It’s best to do this step everyday for maximum benefit.  I kid you not- this one works. I have seen people change dramatically from this mirror work alone.  Do it, even if it’s weird.

This Manifesting With The Supermoon ritual is totally worth doing.  Enjoy the view. It should be beautiful.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

 

STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN- My new advice column to be happy and peaceful, even when life is insane

 

Hey there!  I’ve got a new blog series that’s right up your alley:  

“STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN” is an advice column about how to be sane and happy despite all the insane stressors in your life.   I mean-let’s face it- the stuff that comes at you all day is bananas! It’s hard to stay centered when life- and fruit- threaten to knock you off your peaceful game.

But I know you- you’re just like me- and you want to be your best no matter what’s going on in your day.  You want to handle your kids with humor and patience, even when they are screaming or throwing food or ignoring you. You want to be optimistic and creative at work, even if you have impossible deadlines and a meany for a boss.  You want to be loving and fun with your partner, even when the grind or monotony of daily life threatens your satisfaction . You want to feel abundant and safe and awesome, even if it feels like the odds are sometimes  against you.

In a nutshell, you want to find ways to not trigger the worst autopilot reactions in you.

That’s right.  You’re goal is to be a shining beacon of love right in the middle of Your Own Crazytown…because you know that feeling good about your life is the only thing that matters.


Well, great news! There are some pretty cool tools and techniques to connect with your best self even when stuff gets tough, and STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN is going to share them with you.


So here’s the deal: this blog series will be written by you and me together. You guys are going to keep telling me what drives you crazy, what keeps you from being your best, and I will give you some awesome tools to get you back to center and restore your “happy”.  Many of you already tell me your challenges in blog comments, emails, and in private sessions with me. For the rest of you, send me your comments!


Recently, a reader named “Ann” emailed me a question and because a lot of my clients have the same problem as her, I made it my first STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN article.  She asked:

“Dear Beth, How can I stay centered and happy when my husband is being a jerk?


Maybe you can relate…..
It will be my next post, so be sure to check out the advice I gave her!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

The Last Self Help Book You Will Ever Have To Read

Most of my clients and friends are seekers. 

They like new ideas, get turned on by the latest innovations, and search for the best ways to be happier, healthier, wealthier, skinnier, savvier. You get the idea  if it ends in -er, if it might make them better in ways that matter, they are going to look into it.

The chronic search for the best ways to attract abundance, balance checkbooks, heal from illness, flush fat, clean up sugar addictions, be positive, attain inner peace, parent wisely, love deeper In relationships, respond positively to infidelity, become more intuitive, or find passionate careers means one thing:  buying a whole lotta self-help books and perusing the internet for new ways to get more of the er they are after.

Most us will research the changes we want to make, find the latest and greatest approach to help us, and probably even buy the book or product that will guide us along the yellow brick road to the Oz of our desired outcomes.


Did you notice that I said buy, but not read or use?
YEAH…That wasn’t an accident.

Because  here’s the thing about  seekers, all of whom are  driven to grow and deeply desire to be their best:  most of those self help books are half-read and piling up on their night stands.  Maybe some of these partially consumed books are dog-eared and have a few notes written in them, but they are otherwise forgotten- having been replaced by a newer book with the cure-du jour.

That’s right seekers I’ve got your number.  I know you! And I’ve even been you- excitedly researching and launching into your latest purchase that promises to provide the answers, the path, to the happier or better self.  Go take a stroll through your self-help graveyard and notice the tombstones about mindfulness, thinking and growing rich, manifesting with intention, realizing your own power, healing your life, cleaning up your body, finding true love.  These  books and articles- the ones you already bought, the ones that promised to provide the changes you’ve wanted, but lay untapped and under committed to.  And it’s not that they can’t get you there-many or most of them are excellent guides. It’s that  you haven’t done the work in them.


Which leads me to the ultimate take-away of this post, the one action step that will change your life as a  seeker and your relationship with all the information you collect about how to truly be your best self: 


Actually do the work in one of those self help books.  That’s right. I’m asking you to pick ONE of those books you already own- and WORK it.  Don’t just read a few paragraphs when you are in the mood, don’t get half way through and move on to something else, don’t just leaf through the ideas without doing the action steps the book suggests.  No, do something different this time: make a commitment to yourself and to that book.

Though I’m not affiliated with one, I know that Twelve Step programs have a wise expression called “working the program” which means “don’t just understand your addiction intellectually, do the actual steps everyday to create huge and everlasting transformation.”   Recently, in a session with one of my clients who is very ill, I was guided to tell her that she needed to actually “work the program” , meaning USE all of the many spectacular tools and spiritual practices she is already knowledgable about.  In other words, stop hoarding more information and start using it in a deliberate, intentional, committed way if you truly want to heal and change.


I’ve never seen half-hearted effort create huge transformation.  Have you? 

So pick ONE self growth book- one that’s currently trending or is an old classic- and dive into it like it’s the last self help book you will every buy or need to read, like it’s got all the jewels of wisdom and answers embedded within it.  This time, don’t just skim the surface of a book you might learn from.  After all, when has treading water in the shallow-end ever gotten anyone olympic-size results?

If you take me up on this challenge, my guess is that you will experience enormous, magnificent shifts in your life just by buckling down and finally doing what you keep seeking.  Because I know you want more than to just chronically search for answers, you want to live and breathe the solutions.  And that’s why the best and last self help books you will ever have to read will be the ones you actually put into practice.

Share with me your comments and experiences along the way!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

GOT JUDGMENT OR ANGER? 2-Minute Tool To Get Zen In A Jiffy


Recently one of my clients came to session with a lot of anger.

She said he has been trying really hard to be more positive, but noticed she was just “repressing” a lot of her judgments and frustrations about other people. In other words, it’s not that she had stopped feeling negative emotions, she was just expressing it less.

I had to applaud her.  Not only was she trying to be more positive, but she also recognized that talking about her judgments and resents actually makes them grow bigger. Have you noticed how focusing on them feeds them just like logs on a fire?

Judgment and anger about others is a super-common issue for us humans.  Not everyone wants to learn how to rise above it, but those that do notice how depleted and exhausted these auto-pilot reactions make them.  As you probably know, the reactions we have to others is always an opportunity for us to grow.  In a weird twist, it’s almost like people are doing things specifically to activate the parts of us that need to develop emotionally and spiritually.  On a more cosmic level, it’s like they are sacrificing for us to grow. This is what makes  triggering people  our “calling” rise up and become more enlightened.

I’m not a practicing Buddhist, but I love many of their teachings and psychology. The Tibetan Buddhist tradition actually instructs all beginning students in a practice called Making Difficulties into a Path.  In other words, the teachers intentionally give the students tasks that will trigger their “stuff” so that they can work on it. In Jack Kornfield’s A Path With Heart, he quotes a Tibetan prayer that begins “Grant that I may be given appropriate difficulties and sufferings on this journey so that my heart may be truly awakened and my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled.”


Now, you may be like:
“Hey, Beth, I’m not really psyched about the idea of wishing and hoping for suffering
so that I can practice having more compassion!”

And I get it- that might seem a little extreme for your taste. No problem. So let’s scratch the actual wishing for annoying colleagues  and frustrating relatives.  But if you do experience undesired judgment and anger toward someone, like my client, we might as well learn how to enlighten it.

Here’s a great tool I came up with to transcend judgment, anger, and frustration with others. It’s simple, fast, and effective. All you need is a bit of practice.

2-MINUTE TOOL TO TRANSCEND JUDGMENT AND ANGER

  • NAME IT:   Become the observer of your feelings by naming them as they occur. Make the focus of your attention what is happening within you, instead of about them.  For example, when your friend starts to irritate you, take a breath and notice your insides.  In your mind, notice your physical sensations and feelings like this “I  notice that I am frustrated. I notice that my chest is tightening. I notice that I am thinking of his faults.”

  • RADICALLY ACCEPT IT:               We can’t change what we don’t genuinely accept about ourselves. This is the problem with repression- it isn’t authentic.  Tell  yourself “I radically accept that I am frustrated, judging,  having a hard time.  I love and accept myself.” This will prevent you from judging yourself when you judge others, doubling the problem.

  • ENLIGHTEN IT    :     It’s time to bring light to the situation by doing one of many things: begin to think of the other’s person’s strengths, pray for them, fill your heart with compassion for them, think of them as they were as a child, send the word “love” to them, fill your heart up with light, or breath 10 deep inhales.

  • EXPEL IT:         Now you can let it go with a deep breath that deflates your chest. Do this by taking in a deep breath and then exhaling forcefully, exhausting your solar plexus.  Empty your sternum area entirely of breath and the energy of this issue.  Say “I release this.”

Try it!- it’s really simple and it works.  Sure you may have to do it many times over- after all, you are building a weak muscle into a strong one.  But do this one time and you will feel so much better immediately, releasing the judgment and anger. Do this many times and you will notice that your anger and judgment actually happens less and less and less…..

PS If you want to share the content of my blog, please cite me and create a link to my website and blog.  It’s great to re-post me, but please link it to my site.  The internet- and your own manifesting- works best on a honor system, where we all have integrity.  Thanks a million!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

THE MISSING PIECE IN YOUR MANIFESTING: this overlooked tool changes everything

When I think back, I’ve been teaching about manifesting for even longer than I have been counseling people.

Way before The Secret even came on the scene, it seemed obvious to me- and probably to you too!- that your attitude creates you happiness, which therefore affects the outcomes in your world.  But within the last 15 years there has been a more accessible clarity about exactly what formula you need to follow to “get” the things you want in life:

Know what you want + Have a super positive attitude = Get What You Desire

Right? Right.

But I’m sure you have noticed on a few- or maybe a few hundred- times that you simply couldn’t manifest what you wanted no matter how hard you tried.  If you are anything like my clients, this probably drives you crazy.  People come into my office frustrated and defeated, feeling like the magic of The Law of Attraction is a hoax. Or worse, that they are themselves defective, like one of my clients who recently asked “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do this?”

Over the years as a Modern Intuitive Therapist (combining the best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality), I have noticed that some people manifest quicker than others. And of course I see it in myself:  sometimes I am a wiz at it, while other times it seems like progress is as slow as walking through quicksand.


It took me a while to realize what separated
the clients who Manifested with the Midas touch,
Versus those who had trouble creating the lives they wanted.
But when I isolated the one factor that determined who found happiness and those who struggled,
it all became clear.

Because, even though all of my clients were receiving Modern Intuitive Therapy with me, not all of them were able to embody one major truth.

This stumbling block, this barrier was so fundamental it is often overlooked. I started to see that it was the same missing piece over and over again that was holding some people back. There was a gap in the manifesting process, something The Secret or most psychological theories didn’t capture enough when instructing people on how to create a great life.

What has been eluding most people in their quest to be able to think more positive, and therefore create and attract more positive lives, is actually pretty simple.

And here it is: you are not able to create what you want, or feel happiness and at ease, is very simply your inability to radically trust.  When you do not radically trust yourself, others, or The Divine Flow, life is hard.  When you do, everything flows.

Now, this might be a light bulb moment for you, or maybe you are already aware of just how little you trust. But let me show you how trust affects that manifesting formula we talked about earlier.

As you know, the Law of Attraction recipe requires that you feel positive in order to attract more positive stuff into your life. It’s half of the ingredients to bake the cake of your outcome.  The other half is knowing what you want.

The only trouble is that most people can’t maintain a positive vibration for very long.  They get derailed by too many doubting emotions, frustrated that what they want hasn’t arrive, bummed that life isn’t cooperating.  These lower emotions push what you want to create further away, while maintaining a positive vibration would bring them closer, faster.

Your positive vibration- your hopeful thinking and feeling of excitement- collapses when you lose trust in yourself, others, and The Divine Flow.

But you can learn to trust so radically in yourself, others, and The Divine Flow, you will be able to scale the mote that is keeping you from entering the castle of your desired outcome.


Trust is the bridge to get you what you want.
Radical trust will actually create miracles.  No joke. 

I will be sharing a play by play guide about how to do this in my new book that will be published, I radically trust, within a year.  But in the meantime, I want you to be able to get started with this easy and simple trust building tool:

Here’s what to do:  Every time and any time you get upset about the lack of something in your life, consumed in what is going wrong, or worried that your dreams won’t come true, simply begin to say the words “I trust”.  Say it over and over and over, like a mantra.  Let the word trust, and the idea behind it, begin to smooth the frayed path you are walking along.  Allow the words “I trust” to become your go-to safety net when you are going down that negative rabbit hole.  Keep repeating it, make it the focus of your mind, and watch the miracles parade in.

This Trust Tool can be used to manifest what you want- or transcend any problem in your life.  I’ll keep showing you how to use it in future blogs, and you let me know how it’s working!

PS If you want to share the content of my blog, please cite me and create a link to my website and blog.  It’s great to re-post me, but please link it to my site.  The internet- and your own manifesting- works best on a honor system, where we all have integrity.  Thanks a million!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

EFT To Open Energy, Release Blocks, Create Miracles


at Sunday Morning Enlightenment this week, we did EFT to open our hearts & release blocks… to let in happiness & MIRACLES.

Why? Because when out hearts are closed and we have blocks in our energy flow, and we can’t manifest the amazing things we want in our lives. Blocked energy or unhealed issues within us cause us to feel stuck or stagnant, angry or depressed, afraid to take the steps we need in our lives.

Release these blocks- and open the heart- and amazing things occur:  synchronicities happen, creative ideas pop, courage that was elusive somehow seems easy, issues that were roadblocks move out of the way.

EFT- or tapping- is an awesome tool to begin to clear out the meridians of stuck energy and allow the flow of movement to course through you once again.  We paired this with a meditation to open the heart and release issues that need to go.


Doing this energy healing technique once is great, but why stop there?

The more you use these healing tools, the more you will zoom ahead. and feel happy and peaceful as you do so.  Below you wil find all of the details about how to do them at home on your own.

HERE IS THE EFT SEQUENCE WE USED TO OPEN THE HEART AND ALLOW IN MIRACLES

Think of a block, or problem, in your life
Maybe it’s your fear to go forward with your career plan
Maybe it’s your challenges in a relationship
Maybe it’s anger about your past
Maybe it’s your hesitancy to be who you really are
Maybe it’s your food habits or your addiction
Maybe it’s your illness and how you feel about it
Maybe it’s your anger, impatience, lack of compassion, anger about what you lack
Maybe it’s your lack of forgiveness of a friend
Maybe it’s your frustration with your babysitter or your colleague

NOW WRITE DOWN THESE ANSWERS IN YOUR JOURNAL
What feelings it causes you, write the feeling down
Measure that feeling on a scale of  1(lowest) -10 (highest) , write it down
Where you feel this in your body

KARATE CHOP:
And say “Even though I have this block I completely love and accept myself”

TAP ON THESE POINTS WHile repeating the phrases below

Top of head
Third Eye
Beginning of eye brow bone
Side of eye behind temple on bone
Under eye
Under nose
Under lips
On collar bone, one inch to each side of the “U”
Center of chest- sternum
Under arm (i.e. where bra strap would be)

This block
This fear
This worry
This closed heart
This lack of forgiveness This block of creativity
This unwillingness
My closed heart
My afraid heart
My fearful heart
This problem

I can choose to open up
I can choose to begin to let go
I can choose to open my heart
I can choose to release this
I can choose to have my angels take this form me
I can choose to see love instead of fear
I can choose miracles
I believe in releasing
I welcome in healing
I can welcome in new idea

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, AND WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL
Measure your feelings again on scale 1-10
What physical sensations are you having?
Write down any thoughts

NOW TAP ON THE POINTS AGAIN WHILE REPEATING THESE PHRASES

Freedom comes to me
Open-ess is now
I am more open
I feel comfortable and at ease
I am relaxed about this issue
This issue is softer
Just a little bit easier
I feel a bit more comfortable
I am more open
My heart is more open
My heart is more open
New compassion and ease come to me now

I am free
My heart is open
My heart is wide open
A dam of energy has broken and love is rushing into my being
Power and capability fill me
I am infinite and powerful
I am peaceful and free
My heart is open
My energy is free
I love
I am loved
I am loving

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, AND WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL
Now Measure your feelings again on scale 1-10
What physical sensations are you having
Write down any thoughts
Start at the beginning if you have not reduced your number to 1 or very close to it.

NOW WRITE A LETTER IN YOUR JOURNAL THAT STARTS LIKE THIS
“I am so happy now that I am free and moving.  My new life looks like this:

CONTINUE TO USE THIS EFT aND NOTICE THE CHANGES THAT OCCUR IN YOUR LIFE!
or CHECK OUT MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL THAT HAS TONS OF EFT VIDEOS

HEY THERE BLOGGERS! If you want to share the content of my blog, please cite me and create a link to my website and blog.  It’s great to re-post me, but please link it to my site.  The internet- and your own manifesting- works best on a honor system, where we all have integrity.  Thanks a million!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.