Category: Curing Anxiety

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Super-Spiritual Fixes To Make Miracles Out Of Your Challenges

During our first SUNDAY MORNING ENLIGHTNEMENT workshop WE DISCUSSED WHY WE NEED A MODERN SPIRITUAL PRACTICE IN OUR MODERN WORLD.

Routinely connecting in with love simply yields all- over  better results in every areas of life.  And because the more we do this, the more traction we create,  frequent visits with our highest self will enable a more loving, successful, wise  automatic us.  A spiritual practice is called a practice for exactly that reason-  its just giving new methods that are love-based a whirl over and over again.  And without the rituals or habits of connecting in with this truth and wisdom, we can and will only regurgitate our patters and beliefs from the past. We asked “Autopilot or consciousness?  Autopilot will get you good results, consciousness the fabulousness  you really are seeking.

In the workshop we also remembered why enlightenment is a totally reasonable goal: because it simply means bringing the light and power of love to the darker parts of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Big life results occur any moment  we add in a small spiritual practices.  Enlightenment, thank goodness, happens any moment we choose light as the way.

I asked you to Answer The Call Of Your Highest Self. How?  By maximizing your talents and diving into your challenges. And its your spiritual practice that can help you do just that.

As we appreciate just how uniquely powerful your own special lives are, we realize we are constantly being called to rise and grow.  Your strengths, talents, the things you care about and light you up, are part of your “calling” in this world- they are your unique contribution, the way you are blessed and how you can bless others.  The question is: are you using them to your fullest?

Similarly, you challenges are also your “calling”- whatever is hard in your life, what stinks about you, what you struggle with, where you are blocked- is exactly your opportunity to use love and light to transcend.  What you suffer with is your welcome mat into a better life if you say YES, instead of hating your problems, resisting them, denying them.  When you enlighten these issues, you grow spiritually, and life becomes easier, more peaceful, more meaningful, and WAY MORE SUCCESSFUL.

Every single thing that is occurring in your world is an opportunity to become more united with the truth of your life-  you are made of love and light, you create best when you are linked with this love, you are magnificent beyond measure, and there is a flow that you can enter that will allow your life to be greater, grander, sweeter, richer in all ways.

join me in saying YES to it ALL-
the good, the bad, and the ugly…and we will create miracles.

TRANSCENDING OUR CHALLENGES WITH A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

During the workshop I invited everyone to tell me their challenges, so that I could suggest at least one spiritual practice  to transcend it.  Some of you were so brave and you spoke up.  Thank goodness- your challenges represent all of ours-  as we have all struggled with similar issues. Here are some MORE ideas about what spiritual fixes can be used to transform impatience, a wild mind, and feeling unsure of what steps to take forward in a job or otherwise.


JANE’S CHALLENGE WITH IMPATIENCE. Jane asked how she could be more patient with her child. Because we are choosing to see her impatience as a gift, the goal is to apply a spiritual practice of love to it, which will cause it to transform.

I asked Jane what makes her impatient.  She said the “to-do list”.  I followed that up by a wondering if everything on the list really needs to get done, or if it is so full because she puts non-essential items on it.? Filling up space and time with constant stuff to do is often a habit. However, life  does truly require a lot of action steps.   I asked her to eliminate what is non-essential, and make sure joy and presence is on the list instead.

I also asked Jane to create a new narrative for herself, letting go of the well-rehearsed “oh my gosh I have sooo much to do “ mantra that most of us get embroiled in when we are overwhelmed.  I suggested that she instead start her day with the intention to “be” and “feel” how she actually desires.  For instance, after she wakes up say: “Good morning life, thank you bed, thank you warm home.  I am so grateful today for all of the patience and peace I feel today.  My child and I have a smooth, easy morning, I am efficient and present, we laugh and enjoy each other.  Thank you for such a beautiful day.”

Here are some other suggestions for Jane, and the rest of you, to have more patience and presence with someone in your life:

  • While meditating or when going to sleep, create a connection of pink light from your heart to your child, or another person.  Repeat words like “I love you.  I am present with you.  You are so loved.  All is well” as you send this light to this person. This will create harmonious energy between you and assure the other of your unconditional love. You can create this heart connection throughout the day as well.
  • Get your own energy right. Before interacting, decide how you will “be” with this other person.  Usually our mood is already decided before interacting, and the other person simply triggers the impatience and stress within us.  If you want to be calm and fun, decide “I am going to be calm and fun this afternoon” before dealing them.
  • When you have already become triggered by another person and are being impatient, remove yourself and decide to close your mouth until you have re-regulated your interior space.  Find peace before you interact again by breathing 10 times and repeat the word love in your mind.
  • When you have become triggered into impatience, look into the EYES of  the other person and ask yourself if you desire to cause them fear.  If not, repeat the words “love love love love love” in your mind until the crisis of impatience passes.  Thank the other our loud  for being your teacher.
  • Buy a bell, Tibetan singing bowl, or fun music CD. When things are getting stressed, ring the bell or press play on a song to “reset” the vibration.
  • Slow down.  Impatience thrives on a frenetic energy.  Slow down or sit still temporarily to actually get MORE done in a HAPPIER state of mind.
  • Forgive yourself.  Parenting and life can be super hard.  That’s why we need our spiritual practice.  Self care is essential, it enables patience to occur.

DEBBIE TOLD US HER CHALLENGE ABOUT WORK.   She wanted to know how to “work part-time but make a full-time salary”.  Because we are choosing to see her work issue as a gift, the goal is to apply a spiritual practice of love to it, which will cause it to transform.  I asked her to look at the list that she had just written of her “talents, strengths, and gifts.”  I suggested she start there-  that our gifts and interests are often the surest way to make a living using what we naturally love to do.  She was also  given journaling questions to help her begin to maximize her talents.

Here are even more suggestions that she- and you- can take to get clarity about the next step in your job or create a career filled with what you want:

  • Write a new vision statement describing your ideal job or way to spend your day. Read it daily. Make sure your thoughts and feelings are not focused on what you actually DON’T want.
  • Ask yourself what you would be doing with your time if you didn’t need money at all-  how would you contribute to the world, serve others, or use your talents if you didn’t need money? Ask yourself what does the world need?  (This question will often connect you to what you love doing the most….and then to the ways you can do it to earn money.)
  • Walk and give thanks:  everyday take a walk and repeat the words “Thank you so much for my amazing life’s work.  Thank you for my full time salary and my part time hours.  Thank you so much for the ideas, the courage, the capability to have such a perfect job.” After your walk, write the ideas down right away that came to you while you walked.
  • Read The Artists Way and do The Morning Pages every day.  This is a sure fire way to connect with ideas and creativity.
  • Love your fear.  There is a great chance you already know what you can do to move forward into a better career arrangement, but you are scared.  It’s ok-  this is perfect for your spiritual practice. “Thank you fear, I love you and I also trust the process of life, I trust myself, I trust the flow.”  When opportunities knock, say YES even if you’re scared. Remember that you life is short and your soul is big,-make the most of your time here!

RACHEL’S CHALLENGE WAS HER RELENTLESSLY BUSY MIND.  Because we are choosing to see her busy, non-present mind as a gift, the goal is to apply a spiritual practice of love to it, which will cause it to transform.  We will make her monkey mind her friend.  Rachel said that even while sitting in the workshop she couldn’t stop thinking about what she needed to do next. As a result, she was missing out on life, always living in the next moment, losing the sweetness of the now.  I suggested she use her body to pull her mind back into the moment.

Here is how to use this skill- to occupy the mind with the details of the present moment- so that you are “here now” and also some other suggestions to tame the wild monkey mind:

  • When your mind is not in the now, ask yourself and describe in detail
    -“What do I see  right now around me?, ” “What do I smell?” , “What do I feel?” “What can I taste?”  “What do I hear?”  This will align you with the moment, gently yanking your thoughts into the only time and space that matters.
  • Breathe to create a column of light:  When the mind is going crazy, your breath can become your focus instead. Breath is visceral, it is physical, it creates space and opens the body back up when it has become tightened by thought. It is also energetic, it aligns your center (your core) with its highest self.  Take a breath in and imagine it “straightening” you out, creating a column of light that reaches through your feet and also travels up through the crown of your head.  The column of breath/light connects you into the stable earth energy, aligns your body, and then connect with The Divine though your crown.  Keep breathing into this column of light within you.
  • Consider your thoughts your spiritual practice.  Love them and they will soften.  When you mind is active and you want it to quiet, tell it to do so.  Say: I love my thoughts, I love my thoughts.  Thoughts I love you and I ask you now to be focused on this moment.  I love this moment. I love this moment. Remind yourself that all is well in the present moment.  Repeat this over and over.

Tell me your challenges and I will email you with some ideas, or even make a blog post out of it- anonymously of course!
Wishing you peace in all ways, Beth

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

Ego Versus Enlightenment: Is the old you blocking who you are trying to become?

So you’ve been consciously evolving for a while now, trying everyday to be a better version of yourself. If you are anything like my clients or me, your work is paying off and you are making some traction. And even if you are hard on yourself, even if you don’t give yourself enough credit, chances are you know you are handling things differently than you have in the past. Hooray and go you!

But you may notice a strange phenomena. Have you ever felt like your old self was calling you backwards, or blocking you from moving forwards? I recently had 3 different clients that I helped with this common issue. Read on if you want to win the inner battle between your ego and your enlightenment.

One of my clients, Janet, had a resurgence of a physical problem she had dealt with in the past. When I asked her to dive deeply into her intuition and take a guess about what was causing it to crop up again, her instincts were right on target. “I feel like the cellular memory of who I was in the past is sabotaging the success I am about to have.” She was right on. After years of hard inner work, she had turned some major corners and was authentically achieving the success and self-love she desired. She was finally feeling capable and non-defective, and was doing awesome in all areas of life as a result. And them, bam. Her body starts to stall her progress.

Another client, Renee, had been depressed a good portion of her younger life. But she learned to replace depression with being authentic, creative, artistic, and living “out loud” spiritually. That is, until recently when she began to feel lost and unsure of herself, which brought on feelings of depression. It turns out that she was outgrowing the healing and creative work she had been doing the last few years but didn’t know what would fill it’s shoes. She didn’t know who or what she was being called to be or do- and this made her feel scared. So what happened? Her old autopilot emotion, depression, took over.

And yet another client, Laura, was has achieved lightyears of personal work and growth, recently collapsed into anxiety and depression because she didn’t feel confident in her profession. She began to wonder if she would ever feel capable in her career. What did this do to her? It brought on her old friends anxiety and depression, her emotional comfort zone from the past, that whisper in her ear that she will never really be able to handle life.

What is happening in all three cases, and perhaps for you as you progress towards your highest self, is that two identities are battling for your attention and future. The old ego is doing what it does best- when it feels fear it tries to get you to retreat and be a smaller version of yourself. It will do this by reuniting you with the old problems you used to have- anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, physical problems, overeating, overspending, self judgment, isolating- in an effort to keep you from moving forward. Why would it do such a thing? Because it wants to keep you safe. The ego is worried that if you keep going- if you strive for more success, abort your old self to open up to a new one, or take risks- you might fail or get hurt. So it tries to call you back to when you were too injured or frail or incapable to keep you from taking risks. It tells you that you can’t succeed, can’t be too big, aren’t cut out for the dreams you have, or are too flawed. It will assure you that giving up is a better option.

Meanwhile, your enlightened self is also calling you. The part of you that feels confident, is willing to go for it, and is excited for a change. This part of you is connected to Source Energy just enough to feel capable of shedding the old beliefs that have made you less than what you are.

This battle that happens within is so unconscious, you might barely even notice it. But that’s what’s happening when you are close to your goal weight and you start binging again, or when you create chaos around you when life starts to feel too good. This battle is at play when you are about to make a big successful move at work and somehow you sabotage the process. This inner fight happens when you hide your talents instead of showing them to the world.

If you desire to keep turning towards a more enlightened path, here’s how to help defeat that ego:

KNOW THAT IT’S NORMAL:  You are just like everyone else. We all have our glass ceilings. The ego will try to keep you from breaking though. It is a very good sign that you are reaching a transformation if you are feeling scared.

LOVE IT INTO SUBMISSION:  That’s right- talk to it like the scared child it is. When you are showing signs of going backwards instead of forwards, tell your ego that it is safe to succeed, to feel confident, to go for your dreams, to take the next step. Assure it that you can handle taking the risk and you can do it.  I’m serious, actually talk out loud.  It works.

ENEGY WORK AND BREATH:  EFT Tapping is a huge helper in scenarios like this. For one client, I gave her a very specific algorithm just for her issues. But here is a more general EFT tapping that is sure to raise your confidence and belief in yourself. Do it everyday and you will be amazed at the results. And breathe for goodness sakes! This will make room for you to observe the ego and choose the path to your greatness instead. You and your enlightened self are worth it. You deserve everything that is waiting for you.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

When To Give Up On A Dream

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So you’ve had this dream or goal for a while, but are considering letting it go. Maybe it’s become too hard to achieve, doesn’t fit into your life anymore, or the results your getting from your efforts feel lack-luster. But your dreams are what make you you, and without them there is a possibility of a much less exciting life and ignoring the call of your soul. If you are considering giving up on your goal or turning your back on a dream you’ve had, read this first to be sure there isn’t another path to take.

WHY YOU ARE CONSIDERING GIVING UP

You Aren’t Getting Results
Not getting the results you planned on- in the time you imagine- can be super frustrating. There’s a few exhausting components here: you have decided on the results that will make you happy and the time frame they need to happen in to make you happy. When they don’t, unhappiness (disatisfaction, disappointment, defeat) creep in.

You Are Drained:  You have been investing in your project with all your might- you give it your extra time, your energy, and siphon off dough from your bank account to fund it. Yet, it’s not giving back in the way you desire and so it feels like a one-way relationship. Your tired, especially because most goal achievement doesn’t happen in a bubble and you’ve been giving to it while also maintaining every the other area of your current life.

Nay-Sayers Abound: You have so many “realists” around you who remind you of “how hard it is to make it at _______” and you can’t help but feel slowly eroded by their voices, especially because they speak to your secret fears.

The Old Dream Doesn’t Fit With Your New Life : The super-fun ideas that charged your 20’s are having trouble fitting into your 30’s goals or 40’s lifestyle or 50’s responsibilities. Your dream of being a world-renowned artist at 23 downgraded to locally-known by 33 and at 43 you don’t even sketch a picture because you are “too busy”.

CUT YOUR LOSSES OR KEEP ON FIGHTING? Its a terrible mental and emotional debate, and can feel like an un-win-able game of ping-pong. The key question is this: why did you get involved in this pursuit to begin with? What about this idea lit your pants on fire and made you take all the steps you have taken so far? In essence,

What makes you passionate about your dream? And if you took out all the challenges and work, does that passion remain?

Your level of current passion, not 10-years ago passion, is tantamount because that is the energy you are creating from and with. Your immediate level of inspiration and interest in your dream is directly informing the results you get. The less passion, the less pure, sweet results.

WHAT TO DO Before you let go of what you have worked so hard for, consider doing these things first:

Take A Break: If you are suffering from low-inspirational energy, simply take a break for a while. Maintain the fundamental workings of the success you have already created, and otherwise just step back for a bit. Often, you will become rejuvinated once again in surprising ways- you’lle read an article about someone who is achieving YOUR dream, get feedback about your good work from someone, the season will changes and somehow lift the fog that was draining you, and voila! you will be back in the game.

Raise Your Energy: You want any and all efforts you make towards your goal to get maximum results. To do this, only work at your dreams when you are feeling high energy so that your efforts are infused with your positive momentum. To consciously raise your energy: decide to have a lot of fun (make a “fun” list and do one really lively, adventurous thing a week), knock other things off your to-do list (you will feel inspired and charged-up when you get looming items that drain you “off your plate”), exercise and meditate with visualizations.

Bring On The Brainstorm: Your ideas and perspective may have gotten a little stale or unmarketable over time and that may be killing your success mojo. Ask a friend or two to join you for a brainstorming session to think up new ways to add umph to your goal achievement and to tweak ideas in ways that may make a huge difference. You will be amazed at how valuable putting heads together with others is. Check your ego at the door to get the most out if it. Surround yourself with other achievers who love success! Joining a business development or Mastermind group can be priceless.

Hire A Professional: Lots of time we try to achieve our dreams on a shoestring budget and in a bubble. But big success- like that empire you want to build or that best selling book you’ve written in your mind) often needs the help of many and money. Is it time to hire a business coach, get a PR specialist, or a manager? Do you need professional help to upgrade, gain expertise, and learn the right “next” moves beyond your free blog-space and low-cost website?

Call On The Universe, Silly! Don’t be bashful. You need all the help you can get- and using your ability to attract circumstances to help you is tantamount. Visualize your success daily, tell everyone you know about your intended goal (stop keeping it to yourself to keep yourself “safe”), and create a major mantra (“I am a best-selling author!”, “My band sells out our venues”, “I run one marathon a year”, “Success comes easy to me. People love my product/book/ideas/services.” You’ve got to own it and claim this reality as yours. This creates results.

Put Your Big-Goal-Achiever Panties On: If you want to be a dream achiever, you can’t behave like someone who gives up. You have to tap into that part of you that is resilient, strong, and determined. Standing out at something only happens by actually standing out, and this means taking action steps and having dedication that the majority of people won’t do or have. Read some stories online about people who have succeeded, especially the ones who had some fits and starts along the way. Failure is nothing but a fine-tuning of ideas and processes.

Get Back In Touch With Your Passion: Do whatever it takes to get back to basics. Why do you care so much about your goal or dream? Because it is what is special about your very soul, your contribution to the world, your unique design. It speaks to you because you are uniquely created to deliver it to the world. And that means doing it in little ways if the big ways haven’t supposedly panned out yet. If you are a writer, write. A painter, paint. A singer, sing. A community organizer, get people together. Don’t focus on only big results to confirm you are where you should be. Do what matters to you- feel it – and the results that matter most will come. That is the flow of life, and it can only be stopped if you resist it’s inevitable success. Do not give up on anything you truly have passion for.

Whatever you do, don’t give up on your dreams or on all of the hard work and choices you made to get this far. Remember that success comes as long as you keep going!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

How To Tame The Horrible Thoughts That Wake You Up (or keep you from sleeping)

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I recently had some great opportunities to learn what tools work best to help you fall back asleep. I was woken up in the middle of the night by ruminating, ugly, anxious thoughts and this tool did the trick. It also works if you are having trouble falling asleep because you worrying or thinking too much instead of sailing off to slumber-land.

So my scenario went like this: I was sleeping and was awoken by thoughts about an issue I had that day. I had gone to bed angry (always a bad idea!) over an unresolved issue that happened that day with a loved one. Images and thoughts about the challenge we had flooded my mind, which of course filled me with all of the associated unpleasant emotions. If I remember back, I think I was dreaming about the scenario and then woke up engaged in all of the judgement I had about them (for doing what they did) and me (for not being able to let it go). I was mad, and ashamed, and frustrated, and sad, and did I mention tired because I should have been sleeping instead of thinking and feeling?

So here is what I did and it worked like a charm. I started thinking this repetitive thought:

I love and accept (the other persons’s name), and I love and accept myself.” Every time I had a thought about the incident, I just said that mantra over and over in my mind. After a short while, I was able to drift back to sleep, thank goodness. And wouldn’t you know it? In the morning, I sent a kind and loving text to my loved one, and they sent me one right back. I’m betting I changed my energy about the situation with that mantra by pouring the love of acceptance all over it, and voila!: the situation smoothed itself out.

I gave this suggestion to a client of mine and here’s how it worked for her. She had been dieting and doing well but recently succumbed to a few alcoholic drinks, which lowered her resistance to junk food, and binged on several snacks before bed. In the middle of the night she woke up with terrible thoughts about all of the weight she had gained, the traction she had lost. She was filled with regret, shame, self judgment, and fear of weight gain. She immediately remembered the concept and mantras I had taught her and she began repeating in her own mind

“I love and accept myself. I release this to spirit. I AM 123 pounds.”

What she did here was to not only put love and acceptance on the situation, but she released the worry about it, and then CLAIMED the reality she still wanted to live (to be at her goal weight).

How did it work? Marvelously. She was able to fall back asleep after a few minutes and woke up feeling promising and optimistic. She accepted her human-ness and went about her day. Would you believe the binge didn’t affect her weight loss targets for the week at all? I sure do because I know that’s exactly how energy works. Did you know loving yourself helps with weight loss?

So here’s the trick: when you wake up in the middle of the night or can’t turn off the ruminations that are keeping you from falling asleep, flood your mind with a loving mantra. Make it something like “I love and accept myself”, “All is well and I sent light and love to everyone”, “My life is filled with beauty”, or “Love, love, love”.

Please Send me your experiences after you use this one- I just LOVE to hear about how these tools work for you!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

If Life’s Only An Illusion, How Do You Choose The Right One?

You have probably heard of the concept that life is an “illusion” or just a “dream”. The idea sounds compelling and interesting, but it’s pretty hard to believe when your pain is so real right after you’ve burned your hand on the stove or found out your partner cheated on you. But if it’s true that life really is an illusion, how can we live the one that we like and love the most?

Spiritual philosophies like Buddhism, modern science’s Quantum Physics, and esoteric energy beliefs like Metaphysics all seem to tout the same idea– that our reality is subjective based on what we choose to observe around us. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of NY Times Best Seller The Four Agreements (a must read, by the way), helps us understand in simple terms how our lives are nothing but an independent illusion:

“In this world there are six billion artists. Every human is an artist, and everybody creates their own story and they live in those stories, but they don’t have the awareness that they create the story and that they live in the story that is only true for them…Our biggest art is the story that we create about ourselves, and in this world there are six billion artists…We create (a story) about ourselves, and we are its main character, and everybody that we know is just a secondary character because our world is a virtual reality that only exists in our mind.”

Indeed, the world that appears to us is a reflection of our internal qualities. If our internal qualities change from bad to good, from hatred to love, from exploitation to consideration, and participation and sharing, then we’ll see a different world. Not only will our relationships change, as if we were previously hateful and now we’re friends and we love each other. The world itself will seem different, everything around us, because it’s all a reflection of our internal qualities.

This description helps us see how each one of us are artists creating our own world and filling in the colors of reality that we see. We are the designers of the story we live and the interpreters of what we experience. Our reality is literally whatever story we choose to make of the experiences we are having. Our reality is literally what glasses we use to view our surroundings. Our reality is literally our own illusion.

Because we know that 10 people can watch the same event and have totally different descriptions of it, there is no ONE reality. The interpretation is entirely based on the observer and this gives the observer- YOU- an enormous amount of power.

Right now, take a moment to notice how you have been observing a challenge in your life. As the observer- the one who writes her own story about this challenge- what reality have your brought into existence? How are you choosing to interpret this challenge?

And just for a moment, unhinge yourself from the idea that there is only one way to view this issue and let it go. Now, instead, pick a different illusion. That’s right- choose how you WANT to experience and feel about this issue. See it your ideal way, not the way that causes you blocks and pain and is unsolvable. How would your absolute best self view this challenge? If you were unstoppable, resilient, powerful, happy, independent, and loving how would you observe and respond to this scenario? The answer to these questions give you the illusion you can choose to live instead of the one that you have been suffering with.

You can apply this to any area of your life. If all of life is an illusion, if there is no one concrete reality, but instead many interpretations of the same world, you can choose what illusion you want to live. You can observe what makes you happy or what makes you angry, you can notice the strengths of a situation or notice it’s challenges, you can focus on the gratitude or harp on the lack. Whatever you choose will inform the next part of the illusion.

It’s all your choice. And you will notice if you are choosing the “right” illusion for you personally based on how you want to feel. If you are feeling blessed, joyful, strong, or pleased, I would say you are choosing the right one.

If it’s all an illusion anyway, might as well choose one that makes you feel great!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

Live By These 2 Three-Letter Words To Have A Pretty Rockin’ Life

No, I’m not talking about the most well-known of two-word mantras, although we certainly know that saying “thank you” all day will shape your life into a magnificent thing. Giving thanks for what you have AND for what you want to have (in advance) is a sure-fire way to live a life that is happy. After all, a grateful heart attracts more to it to be grateful for.

But this article is about two OTHER words that need your attention if you are going to make this year one of your best. Life can sometimes get a little routine, filled with repetative tasks like the circular flow of never-ending laundry, work tasks, cleaning up after a meal (only to make another to clean up after), driving to and fro jobs and after-school activities. Sometimes it seems like the routines that make us feel comfortable can backfire and actually drain the life out of life.

After a long winter (like the one we had here in the north east USA), your energy might need as much spring cleaning as your floors to bring some color back into it.

Take a moment right now to remember back to a time when you felt really alive and excited by life. How old were you? What were you doing at the time? Chances are that two little words were the reason you loved (and now miss) those time periods the most. These two words bring out the bold and beautiful in any moment and have the natural side-effects of laughter and smiling. What words could bring out the fountain of youth within each and every one of us? Simply put, they are “yes” and “fun”.

1) YES
Boy is it easy to say “no” in life. Just ask any kids you know- they hear it all the time!

As adults, we say no to life pretty frequently. Do I want to drive an hour to go out to dinner with my friends after I worked all day? No. Do I want to be intimate after losing sleep taking care of my sick children overnight? No, not really. Do I want to get off the couch and get ready so I can go dancing? Not so much. Do I want to take the long way home to enjoy the view? Not if I have million errands to get done.

But if we let every impulsive “NO” win, if we allow our first response to decide our fate, we are likely to have way too little fun.

See, as children and teens, saying Yes was our natural state. Yes, I want I ice cream before dinner! Yes, I want to play outside until it’s dark, skip my bath, and go another day dirty. Yes, I want to cut high school math and go to the beach with my friends instead! Yes, yes, yes!

The consequences were of little concern. Yes ruled the day. And even though our parents said No often, insisting that we do our homework before playing or not ride our bikes without helmets, Yes was our predominant inclination.

And that’s what made life feel good.

I think what happens, as we get older, is that we have so many darn responsibilities and goals that we say No to pleasure and play too frequently. We are working so hard that we actually become lazy about having fun. We say No to last minute plans with friends, No to spontaneously flirting with our partner, No to playing with our kids instead of just watching them play, No to loud music in the car, No to spending some of our hard earned money on adventure.

When I graduated college, my more spontaneous best friends proposed we go on a trip across country. Our one-month drive from east to west coast and back again was not well planned (all four of us slept in a 2 person tent almost every night), not particularly high-end (we drove and slept in our rented mini van), not well financed (we each had $1000 and no debit cards or cell phones), and mostly half-brained (on more than one occasion we were naive, duped, and almost in jeopardy).

It was the time of our lives. Mostly because we said Yes to experience, Yes to fun, Yes to “let’s see what’s next”, Yes to love and play. We said Yes to life.

2) FUN
This three letter word can be the compass that guides your life if you let it. There are two ways to do this: 1) Make fun a priority by setting an intention to have fun experiences and 2) transform any dull moment into a fun one with minor adjustments.

Setting The Intention To Have Fun
I tend to be a task-oriented person, always with a to-do list in my back pocket and a pen ready to add to it. This can be very non-fun for my loved ones, and for me. Thankfully, I add “have fun” onto the list so that my kids and I make space for lol activities.

Last year I had the most fun summer ever. This happened because I told myself in the prior winter and spring months that I was going to have an EXTREMELY fun summer, which I then acted upon by filling up our June, July, and August calendar months with tons of vacations, mini-trips, and activities. My philosophy was that if I penned it into the calendar, super events would be guaranteed and the weeks would be less likely to pass in a blur. I also know how a day can go by easily without really taking advantage of it or saying Yes to doing more than the have-tos. So my strategy was to make a lot of plans and seal the deal by committing to them. This way, we would have guaranteed fun and could opt to say yes to spontaneous plans along the way as well!

I didn’t want to end my summer and say “I can’t believe it’s over! We didn’t even do that much!” Rather, I was already envisioning myself telling people in September “I had my best summer ever!” And as I did, I also learned what I need to do to create a blueprint for fun: schedule and commit to plans in advance and get the heck out of the house. Why the latter? Because if I am home, I will get sidetracked by the never-ending tasks that hijack my day. It I want to have a lot of fun, I have to be out in the world where I can’t see my laundry pile, work calendar, or full dishwasher.

An easy place to start is to make a list of 12 things you would like to do that would feel really fun for you and get them on the calendar. Even if you picked only one to do per month, a more fun year would be guaranteed!

Making Non-Fun Things Fun
Organizing your world around the idea that life can be fun, no matter what you are doing, elevates the energy of any moment. But you have to say Yes to making fun your highest priority feeling.

It’s great to teach kids that you can make anything fun, and it’s a lesson each one of us usually needs a daily refresher course in. Again, having fun requires intention if you are not naturally fun all of the time . Putting music on when it’s clean up time, being goofy while making lunch, and having a contest to see who can brush their teeth the longest or find the most dust bunnies are all simple ideas that only require a fun-seeking parent.

If want my children to describe their childhood as fun, I know I have to allow it to be fun and inspire laughter and non-sense.

But you don’t need kids to make mini moments of fun. Let your hair down and whistle while you are taking care of the business of life. Make it a priority to belly laugh at least once a day. Be a little sillier that you usually allow. Turn the music on at the same volume you did when you were an exuberant teen. Text funny notes to friends and start a virtual giggle chain of messages.

What get’s in the way of allowing fun into even the most mediocre of tasks? “Rushing” or being stressed can make you a real fun murderer, decapitating smiley opportunities before they even get a chance to lighten your mood. If you’re not having fun, maybe it’s time to slow down just enough to let the light- and the love- into your day.

After all, without our 3-letter friends YES and FUN, there’s a whole lot of 4-letter words that will fill your day.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

The Absolute #1 Trick To Stop Anxiety And Stress Immediately

If you have stress, worry, or (gulp) even anxiety attacks, you know how frustrating and exhausting it is. And even though you know you shouldn’t “sweat the small stuff” and that it’s a waste of time to worry about things, you keep doing it anyway. In fact, I’m sure you’ve noticed that everyone considers being stressed a new- and acceptable- normal. Yikes.

I’ve been helping people with anxiety (and it’s equally annoying cousins, stress and worry) for over 20 years  and I know how daunting it can feel to transform. When starting to work with me, my clients usually describe having few actual tools to use or relying on an age-old strategy of trying to push away or ignore their stress. As Dr. Phil might ask “How’s that working for you?” Usually the answer is not so good. You might be really surprised when I reveal the

#1 go-to trick that will seriously reduce your stress, worry, and anxiety because it will be the opposite of what you would imagine.

For example, if you feel an anxiety attack coming on, your instinct is to run from it, to push it away, to keep it form happening by fighting it. And if you feel stressed, your impulse is to try to move faster, bark orders, or do more  so that you can fix whatever is stressing you. But believe it or not, I am going to tell you that the best strategy you can use if you feel stress, worry, or anxiety coming on is to go into i.

“What?” , you say. “This lady is crazy herself and she’s a psychotherapist? She is recommending that, just as I am about to become frustrated by my day or descend into the hell of an anxiety attack, I should just let it happen?”

Well, no, not exactly. But that’s close. Let me explain.

My suggestion is called Radical Acceptance, a Buddhist technique that says if we accept what IS so wholeheartedly and completely, it will enable us to then change. See, the problem is that most of the time we don’t accept what is true in the moment and this makes us much less able to shift and transform because we haven’t totally grasped where we already are.  Running from what we fear causes stress. Being with it, making friends with it. tames it.

Radically Accept Stress? Seriously?  Let me give you a concrete example. So let’s say you have 7 deadlines for work all due within an hour, a big meeting later this afternoon, your starving, and you just got a run in your tights. Typical Monday morning stuff. Your habit would be to get really ramped up, try to do several things at once, maybe yell at- or cry to- the nearest person close by, and scramble to get it all done, probably spilling your coffee or slamming your finger in the car door along the way. Later at night you will beat yourself up for not doing a good enough job (even though you were great), for being a jerk (for being a little too assertive with your child/partner/employee), and for the bag of chips and glass of wine (actually 2) you just consumed to numb and reward yourself. Sound familiar?

How would using Radical Acceptance help this scenario? First, before you even go to work, start talking to yourself with total acceptance, like this: “This morning I have many things to accomplish. I accept that I have set up my day this way. I also know and accept that I will get done what I can. I accept that it may not all happen perfectly.” This will help to reduce the pre-work anxiety. Later, as you feel yourself getting stressed or tense during your morning, use Radical Acceptance by talking to yourself aloud like this: “I am starting to get stressed. I can feel my body tense and my mind race. I am feeling frustrated that I have so much to do. But I can only do one thing at a time. I am going to take a very deep breath into my belly and simply slow down enough to do one thing at a time. I am present.”

By describing to yourself aloud what is happening in your body, how you feel, and then what you are going to do to problem solve, you are Radically Accepting the situation. It will instantly calm you down and enable you to handle your situation with presence and grace, instead of panic and pressure.

“Acceptance” and “Anxiety Attacks”. Isn’t that, ummm, counterintuitive?  Not at all. In fact, Radical Acceptance is your immediate way out of hell if you are panicking. Let’s say you have had a few anxiety attacks over the last year. When they happen your heart beat races, you feel like there is an elephant sitting on your chest, your body shakes, your paranoid that people can tell you are freaking out on the inside, and you mind is foggy and preoccupied with wondering if you are about to die. One of the main problems with this experience is that it leaves you petrified of the next time it will happen again. Now you fear your next fear response, you have anxiety about having an anxiety attack. You worry that you are not in control of your own body, emotions, mind, or behavior and without that what do you have?

Here’s what to do: When you feel the symptoms of anxiety coming on, begin practicing Radical Acceptance. Describe aloud what is happening.

“My heart is starting to race and my mind is getting overwhelmed. I am sweating. I am beginning to have some simple anxiety. That’s all. I am feeling stressed by something and it is causing adrenaline in my body. That’s all it is. I will take deep breaths and sit still for a few minutes. This will help.” Yep- I’m telling you to go right into it. Don’t avoid it. Describe it and feel it and tell yourself that it is just stress. This will help you be okay with WHAT IS much and shift you into the solution. Breathing, sitting still, calming down.

Radical Acceptance 1-2-3-4-5

      1. 1) Stop moving, slow down. Become present and aware of yourself.
      1. 2) Describe what is happening, preferably aloud. I am having anxiety.
      1. 3) Describe how you feel in your body. My heart is racing and I am sweating
      1. 4) Describe your emotional feelings. I feel fear and worry.
    1. 5) Now tell yourself this is only an excess of adrenaline in the body and can change quickly.


Now begin your belly breathing to reduce the adrenaline in your blood stream and repeat “I radically accept that I have too much adrenaline in my blood and this can get better very quickly.”

But Isn’t Acceptance Approval? Nah. Acceptance is just being in the NOW. We don’t approve of stress, we don’t want it, but since we have it we need to befriend it’s existence in order to work with it and change it. And if there is anything I’ve learned from helping both the people who have the garden variety of unhappy stress or those with intense anxiety, fighting what is only makes things worse.

Keep in mind that, like hot sauce, you can use Radical Acceptance on everything. It’s not just for stress, worry, and anxiety. Try it on your next problem and see what happens!


Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

The 8 Ways to Trasform Worry For a Loved One Into Healing

When it comes to anxiety born out of helplessness, there is nothing like worrying about a loved one to put you over the edge. Even if you normally consider yourself to be a rational and emotionally even person, once someone you love is having trouble in life, your calm and cool self can be replaced by a ruminating, worried mess.

In my psychotherapy practice, I teach people all the tricks of the trade to radically change how they cope when their loved ones are suffering. When our family members, children, friends, or co workers suffer, have health issues or are dying, or are dealing with addictions or financial problems, we usually suffer with them. Sometimes we even suffer more. The helplessness mixed with compassion can be torture, and can even lead to a whole host of negative feelings and illnesses within us. When they are in a dark hole, too often we jump in with them instead of staying outside and throwing a rope in to them. And too often we don’t know how to accept their journey, and whether the rope we have thrown is right for them.

“8 WAYS TO TRANSFORM WORRY FOR OTHERS INTO POWERFUL HEALING AND HELPING” is an excerpt The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life). I created this therapy program to help anyone and everyone have access to the cure for anxiety which uses the best tools from psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality to create radical change. Use this excerpt below to help you to shift your approach to your loved one, to send only healing energy to them, and to keep yourself healthy and aligned at the same time.

8 WAYS TO SEND FEAR AND WORRY
1. Engage in “negative forecasting”: think of the worst things that could, might, or will happen to them
2. Think about how this scenario should not be, that is not fair
3. Think of each negative thing that might happen and how this will cause more negative things to happen
4. Feel sorry for them, pity them, sell them short, or otherwise dis-empower them of their true nature as a powerful being
5. Compare themselves to you and see their qualities as not as good as yours
6. Worry that you shouldn’t have good in your own life or keep yourself from joy because they are suffering
7. Try to control them, get them to do what you think they need to do to suffer less, feel less helpless by over-controlling
8. Believe that you know what is best for them and what would make them happy

8 WAYS TO SEND LOVE AND HEALING INSTEAD
1. Bring to mind all of the ways that this situation could work out. Fantasize & daydream about the situation going well

2. Pray for them by sending them white healing light to bathe them. Replace your worry thoughts by mentally sending them love and light every time worry arises in your mind and body. This gives you something useful and powerful to do when you feel helpless.

3. Accept that what is right now is right now, radically accept them as they are. Do not be focused on how they or their situation should be different in any way. Love them as they are. Feel the feelings that come with radical acceptance of what is. This frees you up to find easier, love-based solutions.

4. Honor their own power. Think of the times they have been powerful and wise. Honor the God within them, instead of thinking that just because you made some good choices that only you are righteous or good. Recognize that they are strong and resilient and that they might know more about their path than you. Lift them up with truth and not pity.

5. Allow yourself to live your own highest life. Do not squash any of the good, the happiness, in your own life because you feel they are suffering. They would not want that consciously for you. Remember you must be in your own highest alignment to help them best. Allow light into your life, live big, as it gives other people around you permission to do so as well.

6. Ask them how you can help and serve them in their journey to relieve their trials and tribulations. Remind them of their strengths, how you are grateful for them, what they do well. Serve to help them instead of controlling or feeling bad for them. Help them in the ways that honors your own boundaries and alignment with your own highest self.

7. Know that their life journey is theirs, and you are not the main player. Do not make their suffering about you. Allow them to own their own life, their choices. Remember that their life experiences have a purpose and the choices they make reflect their own soul growth, just as yours do.

8. Be grateful and Focus on The Strengths. Often things could be worse. Be grateful for the positive , count every blessing, and strength in the situation. Think of ways the situation could be worse. This helps to keep you focused on a positive energy of what is possible.


Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

In Worrisome Times, Worry LESS (and you may be personally responsible for saving the world)

Call me PolyAnna or naive. Tell me to wake up and smell the coffee because “Everything is really bad” and it “Hasn’t hit rock bottom yet.” You won’t be the first and I can understand your skepticism. But at the end of the day, in the middle of the barrage of words like “crisis”, Isis, Ebola, interest rates (too low or too high), heroine problems, the flu, climate change, and every other ominous message pummeling my senses, I can still feel good. And I feel great about feeling good.

I am not being smug or trite, nor am I even close to the enlightenment Buddha and the Dali Lama enjoy. I have a family, I own a small business, and I have lots to lose. I am, however, one woman feeling her way through this life who has lots to gain. I try really, really hard to be my best, to accomplish my full potential, to live consciously, to love and be kind, and to master my own energy. In essence, I am sure I am a lot like you- I just want to be “happy”.

Sure these are worrisome times. If by worrisome we mean imperfect and a work in progress. Has life on the planet every been anything but perfectly imperfect? So I am choosing not to react to what people tell tell me should be making me feel afraid, mad, frustrated, worried, defeated, shocked….you know the drill when the media is fear-based, your elders are “realists”, and negativity has taken over around you. And I am not going to mistake worry for an action step, because too often people worry about situations that make them feel helpless as if it’s the same as doing something about it. After all, haven’t we been kind of taught that if we are worrying about something then at least we won’t get totally caught off guard when something does goes wrong?

So, no, I am not going to get caught up in the negative energetic spin around me. Instead, I am choosing to feel sane, curious, pleased, peaceful, powerful, joyful, and totally abundant. And I am encouraging my clients, group members, and you to do the same.

The key words here are choice and action. You do not have to jump on the fear bandwagon. And it takes such simple steps to get off and hitch a different ride. Consider these ideas below. In an unpredictable world, we need to be able to sleep at night, love our lives, and be a part of what works right. And I suspect that if each one of us does our part, the people not worrying will lead the world out of “crisis” and into an even better future.

1) GO ON A MEDIA FAST. Just like how you are what you eat when it comes to food, the same is true with information. Have you noticed yet that the more you “inform” yourself, the worse you feel in your body, thoughts, emotions, family, and work? Energy is energy and you are absorbing very negative energy through most media outlets. You wouldn’t allow your child to watch violent or depressing shows all day and expect her to be jovial and well adjusted would you? Cut off the toxic flow and make a deal with yourself to watch or read a limited amount of news per day, if any at all. Also, get curious about why the news always focuses on what is wrong in the world- it is a strange phenomena that we pay them to tell us about things that make us feel bad. Consider investing in positive magazines and radio stations.

2) GET YOURSELF CORRECT. Cutting off the media fumes doesn’t mean you have to become negligent of the world or go on an ignorant free-for-all. Focus on what you can control by getting your own life centered and correct. Patch up your vulnerabilities by living within your means and focusing on reducing personal debt. Take this time when political and economic processes are “correcting themselves” to clean up your own imbalances- in how you eat, improving the quality of your relationships, in your own emotional state. As Ghandi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, as in “what is happening in the world around us is a reflection of our own personal energy”. If we each get correct within ourselves, the “world” itself will be corrected because we are the world.

3) TAKE ACTION. If you find international affairs or local issues to be depressing or worrisome to you, that’s a great sign of your compassion, love, and feeling of connection to the world. But don’t waste that beautiful aspect about yourself on feeling badly. Instead, put it into action. The planet needs your input of energy and care to change. If you barricade yourself in a house full of worry, you are only matching the energy of the problems outside in the big bad world. Be the light, be the change, be the love that helps. What can little ol’ you do? Sign a petition, pray and send love to the problem, give money to a cause you care about, volunteer, meet with others who care and take action steps. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Worry does not help the world…only helping does.

4) BEHAVE ABUNDANTLY AND GIVE. The energetic universe loves giving and rewards the generous by helping them to feel good and often giving them even more material abundance. Give to the most needy in times of distress, hold doors open, smile often, make little pit stops to pet pounds and shelters with food donations, send a phone card to a stranger in the military. Then don’t be surprised when your own life- and wallet- seems to get fuller.

5) INDULGE IN DAILY LOVE AFFIRMATIONS. Be the I AM. You may be of the mindset that this is crazy talk that doesn’t work. Yet, since we get back in our own lives what we put out in emotions and thoughts, you might want to check what thoughts and feelings you have been repeating lately. The trick here is to calm your fear with statements that relax you and are positive: “All is well in my world. I am strong and resilient I am able to create good in my life and have gratitude for what is working. ” Yet, for those who really want to attract abundance and success, stretch your repeating mantras further: “I AM true success. I AM love and loving. I AM filled with happiness and security in all ways.” Meditate and breathe often.

6) ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE STRENGTHS. When thinking about ANYTHING, always start with noticing what works about it. Concerned about our legal system? First notice what’s good about it, and then take action steps to contribute to what isn’t working. Worried about terrorism? First notice all of the kindness in the world, the unity, and the ubiquitous safety in the planet. Then brainstorm and take action steps to help contribute to peace in the areas where it is lacking on the globe. Afraid about your own life situation? Step back and notice all that you have accomplished in your life and the amazing resourcefulness you have had when life kicked you in the teeth. Also, make a list of all that you do have and are grateful for. Even in “crisis” times, we are often the luckiest ones on the planet. Shifting focus to your blessings changes more than your mood, it changes what you attract.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

The 8 Reasons You’re Not Getting What You Desire

Like most of us, you probably have moments when you get frustrated when you don’t get what you want.This can be especially true for those who are consciously trying to master their own energy and practice “The Law of Attraction”. Once you get a taste of the idea that you have the power to shape your own life, it’s hard not to have a temper tantrum when your manifestation capabilities seem lacking or inept. This article is meant to help you see how the process itself of achieving your desires is meant to serve (and not just irritate) you…if you harness it right.  Read on to learn more about how to co-create like the mini diety you are- and how to reduce your anxiety and frustration when it doesn’t seem to be “working”.

You might think you would love your life to be like the “I Dream of Genie” television show: how nice it would be to just think up something that you want, cross your arms, wiggle your nose, and poof: your desire appears before you- ready to driven by you, loved by you, lived in, worked at, eaten, flaunted, or spent in huge and worry-free amounts. “Yes”, you’re thinking, “I absolutely DO want to be like the genie! I want to be able to get what I want whenever I want it. Sign me up!”

But I’d like to challenge that….

Imagine life on this planet with 7 billion genies, each one ordering up the perfect cars, bodies, relationships, food, homes, careers, and the ideal amount of money. Whatever could be imagined or wanted would be accomplished without any effort or personal growth whatsoever.

Sounds good, right? On the plus side, the pros of being a genie are:
1) You get to wear flashy, diaphanous, loose clothing
2) You get to have whatever you want, whenever you want it without any thought or struggle.

On the other hand, maybe there is a positive side to learning how to co-create what you want, instead of just having all your desires appear automatically, without any effort. Here are the 8 Reasons Why You Are Not Getting What You Desire and the how to work with the delays that are actually serving your highest good:

We like to “have our hands in the clay”. To potters, who make art out of clay on a spinning wheel, the very act of having their hands in the clay is the ecstasy of the medium. The shaping and guiding of material into a bowl or sculpture and not just the finished project is the very reason for the process itself. Sometimes the clay collapses, other times they learn how to move their hands perfectly to make right shape comes to life. We all, like potters, like to be a part of shaping our life as it unfolds. We figure out what we want and how to get it by being a literal shaper of the process. We get to sit down at the wheel of life everyday, put our hands in the material, experiment with how we craft our creation, re-evaluate when it’s not coming out right, start over when necessary, and sometimes be surprised when we’ve made something we love even more than what we originally thought we wanted to create. Anyone can go to Target and just buy a bowl, but that’s not creating, that’s consuming. Try to love being a creator. It’s really the whole reason you are on the planet.

We need “The journey”. Picture this: your whole life you have wanted to go white water rafting and you finally plan your adventurous vacation. When you arrive by the rapids, you decide that instead of dropping your raft in at the top of the river and actually taking the ride downstream, you opt to just drag your boat to where the water ends and skip the actual adventure. How satisfying would it be to get to the end of the river without cruising the journey where you would have felt all of the exhilarating, scary, calm, beautiful, and wild parts? Even if you don’t dig water sports, the point here is clear:  we want and need the RIDE that is life, and we must appreciate the bumpy, frightening, and happy parts because they are intrinsic to the adventure. Just getting what we want without the trip would be mundane and boring.

We need learn what faith is and how to actually have it. Faith is “believing without seeing”, and having faith enables us to remember that we are not alone in the universe our lives, but are actually part of a big intelligent web of energy that we inter-relate with.

When you are not getting what you want immediately, your higher self is asking you to reverse the ol’ “seeing is believing” motto and accept what can be. When you are frustrated by life, tell yourself the “I AM” story, where you realize that you are a creative being with immense powers. Claim what you want and take the focus off what you don’t have. “I AM the highest ranking real estate agent in the NorthEast”, “I AM a loving parent with tons of patience”, “I AM $10,000 richer.”

We get the opportunity to continuously refine what we actually want as we go through the process of creating it. Imagine if you immediately got everything you thought or felt about, before you got a chance to be absolutely sure of who you are what you want. Remember that old slogan “Careful what you wish for because you just might get it”?

Oh, gosh, the strangers you would have harmed with your random judgments, the people you might have married, the interviews that crushed you when you didn’t get the jobs. Often, the space between ourselves and manifestation is a grace that gives us time and room to get clear about who we are, what we want and why. If there is something in your life that’s not coming to fruition, you might want to go back to the drawing board and make sure the specs of what you think you want are truly right.

We actually develop and learn the specific skills necessary to accomplish our dreams.  Achieving something you desire is less about the outcome on the outside, it’s more about the inner change. In other words, the material accomplishment is a natural bi-product of changing or growing within yourself. So let’s say you want the new book you wrote to be a best seller, what beliefs about yourself need to change within you? What skills do you need to launch a bestselling book? Are there marketing, PR, or business skills you need to develop for the next phase of your successful life? Make the inner changes to see the outer results.

We learn what is special about us, and where our individual talents and strengths are. If every genie could create the same things, there would be no differences between us.

Almost everyone seems to want to be a millionaire, but each person’s path to get there is vastly different and dependent upon their unique gifts. One person can become rich by managing hedgefunds, another by inventing a product, being a CEO, or running a factory. The desire to be rich, successful, or well known is the catalyst that drives people to expand upon and highlight their highest gifts and innate talents. Each one of us has a unique, important design that we can capitalize upon if we desire. If you aren’t getting an outer manifestation, it may be because you aren’t tapping into your highest, truest talents yet. It may be time to express your most authentic self to see those outer results.

Sometimes, when we don’t get what we want right away, we realize later how it served our highest good. Try to view the perceived delays in your process as blessings and opportunities. What is your highest self asking of you? In what ways to you need to grow, develop, refine, showcase your skills or get clear? Are you willing to take the ride and appreciate the journey? Remember you are a creator, meant to have your hands in the clay of life and shape what you experience. Don’t get frustrated with the outcomes- instead look for the information embedded in the ride and how it is all serving you.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.