Category: Blog

When Your Anxious Mind Is Like A Wild Horse: Sitting Up and Taking The Reigns

Leave a comment

When you are anxious you often feel like you mind is in charge and sometimes it just takes off with you like a wild horse. And there you are, so busy bouncing around on the saddle, just trying to get through the latest bumpy ride of panic, stress-induced self medicating (eating, crying, sleeping, yelling) ,or worst-case scenario ruminations that you’re forgetting how powerful you are.  You need to learn how to sit up, pull on those reigns, and start steering that horse in the direction you want to go.  Because after all, you are the master of your mind…and your own life.

Here are the top three steps you can take when you realize your mind has wandered off track and is busy thinking about stuff that isn’t going to serve you in any way:


1) Notice You Are Off Course:  The first key here is to realize that you are thinking and feeling about things that make you feel bad and that aren’t leading to positive change or solutions. Take several deep belly breaths to reduce your adrenaline and make a choice.  Ask yourself “Do I want to feel bad or good?”  “Do I want to help this situation?”  If you answered in the affirmative, move on to step 2. If you aren’t sure you want to feel better, don’t judge yourself, but be okay with not feeling okay.  Remember, it’s a choice.


2) Recognize Your Power: The anxious mind is powerful, no doubt.  It’s often been reinforced by years of habits and neurological wiring that enables it to just hit “play” on the same old record, causing your feelings, thoughts, and body to all do the fear jig on cue.  But realizing that the mind works for you means that you can mentally hit the “stop” button on that tired old record.  Your anxiety is a part of you but is not actually you.  If you can notice it, you can take charge of it.  See it for what it is:  just a fear- based response to life that is acting out the same part it has many, many times before.

But you are the master, you are in charge, and you get to decide what you think about-  and what you don’t.  If you want to think about your 5 favorite kinds of flowers,  your funniest high school memory, or the most beautiful tree on your block you can.    If you want to think about the worst mistakes you made at work this week, why you will never get married, or the recent ways your friends let you down, you can think about that too.

What you focus on is all about choice.  But I know how tenacious the anxious mind is and how it will veer, over and over, down the tempting negative path.  Sometimes it will notice you’ve become lax about keeping your positive focus and will gallop off into the sunset with horrible ideas about you and your life. After all, it’s a creature of habit.  But you have the reigns and you need to be vigilant.  Sit up, pull them in closer to you, and steer yourself (over and over and over) back to the thoughts that feel better. That horse will get the message over time, that life is okay enough, good enough, and safe enough for you to actually enjoy the blessings you put your focus on.


3) Make It Easier On Yourself: It’s way simpler and more effective to steer the mind when you have slept enough, when you eat regularly and keep your blood sugars balanced (low blood sugars make you moody and feel a whole lot like adrenaline), when you don’t drink 5 cups of coffee (or at least drink mostly decaf and tons of water), when you take a walk everyday (or at least 4 days a week), and when do basic meditation or sit still and belly breathe.  The body will work with you if you set it up for success. Some people take GABA (to supplement the brain’s natural tranquilizer that is very low in people with anxiety) or Calmes Forte (a homeopathic medicine for anxiety) to help the body help the mind. Learn to belly breath (learn how with this teaching video) and use the energy healing method “Tapping” (try one of my Tapping videos ) to reduce fear in any moment. Practices like these help the mind work for you.
Here’s an EFT Sequence to use to open the heart and allow in miracles


Your mind can be re-trained but it needs support from the physical, energetic, and spiritual parts of you, too.  If, after trying to control or guide your mind to think more positive, you have given up because it just doesn’t seem to work, don’t lose hope. It does and will change if you truly realize that you are in charge. Sit up and take those reigns time and time again, knowing you are reconditioning the beast that has been taking you for a ride.

Beth Miller is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, and spiritual counselor Bayport, Long Island, New York USA.  She has one foot firmly planted on the earth while the other is exploring the spiritual mysteries of energy.  She works with individuals in person and via telephone, teaches workshops and groups, and has a lively YouTube channel in which she teaches tools to cure anxiety and get in the flow of life. She is the author of The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life), a program that delivers the most effective therapy treatment to the inbox of anyone and everyone who wants to radically change their stress, worry, and anxiety. In USA 631.327.0090

Just Say No To The New Normal: 6 Steps To Start A Revolution Against Stress, Worry and Anxiety

If you’re anything like me, you might be getting alarmed at our new emotional normal these days. You know how everyone worries, talks about stress, and is anxious in one way or another? Now, we know that stress has always existed for humans – after all, it’s the very stress hormone (adrenaline) we are blessed with that has enabled us to fight or flight throughout thousands of years to get to where we are today.

Unfortunately, we are overusing this stress response that was supposed to be used for survival purposes only as our everyday life experiences, such as traffic jams or frustrations at work spark a cascade of thoughts, emotions and chemical reactions that tell us we should tense up, breathe shallowly, have racing thoughts, and lose concentration. And even though we all know being stressed is a routine experience in our demanding lives, I’ve noticed that somehow being worried and anxious have also become part of the new and accepted normal as well.

In my psychotherapy, life coaching, and energy healing practice, I specialize (in part) in treating stress, worry, and anxiety so naturally I expect to spend my days teaching people the tools and making the shifts necessary to eradicate this unnecessary condition. In fact, it is a true blessing to witness the freedom they experience as they align with who they truly and end the suffering that stress, worry, and anxiety has caused in their lives.

But I’ve noticed the baseline of everyday anxiety has increased for the masses. If I think of the 15 closest people to me in life, I can easily give examples of how each one stresses, worries, or has anxiety that interferes with their happiness in life. Their levels of stress, worry, or anxiety (or what I call S.W.A) may not meet clinical proportions, but their lives would be greatly improved if they didn’t have to waste their precious life energy on the act of worrying, fretting, racing, pushing, ruminating, or generally feeling pressured or negative.

In other words, you no longer need to have a clinical diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder to lay awake at night with worry, think of the worst things that could happen, have inner dialogues battling your own ruminations and self doubt, race around like a chicken without a head, assume the worst about others or yourself, become overwhelmed by paperwork and to-do lists, not sit still until 10 pm, or avoid taking risks or feeling feelings because it could make you anxious. Or maybe the new normal is that many more people actually do meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Either one is not okay.

Stress, worry, and anxiety are SO normal that the word “stress” in an article headlines actually get’s a big yawn from readers because it’s not new or sexy enough. “Stress” as a topic is pretty boring because lots of people simply endure it as if it is an expected bi-product of life, i.e. that it’s a price one has to pay to get other good things they want, is a badge of honor about how busy or successful they are, or is just a cultural norm that gets modeled and repeated over and over.

So I’m thinking we need a big, ol’ revolution! Today I am inviting- even inciting- you to put your foot down about the stress, worry, and anxiety in your life and say no to the new norm. Become a cultural revolutionary on the leading edge and take these steps to be…not normal!

Here’s How To Just Say No To The New Normal:

 1) Get mad about stress, worry, and anxiety and declare that you will not live this precious life in a state of stress and fear-based emotions. What a waste! Then replace the mad feeling with love for yourself and commit to living in a more harmonious way with yourself and your world.

2) Get busy learning new ways to shift your current habits to new ones. S.W.A. is very treatable and curable. There are tools and shifts that truly work. This means get a therapist, coach, self-help book, or group that is committed to helping you reduce your stress response behaviors and increase your joy quotient.

3) Learn to meditate. Seriously, it’s time. You’ve wanted to learn for years or people have told you to, so wait no longer. Meditation isn’t just for new-agers anymore. Everybody who feels happier is doing it and it’s more accessible than ever:
CLICK HERE to get these free guided meditations.

4) Slow and steady wins the race. Make changes, like writing in a gratitude journal everyday or grounding yourself with a daily walk, with commitment, consistency, and patience, Over time, it will make a measurable difference.

5) Shoot for 90%- You are probably not going to eliminate all of your S.W.A. and some of it has VERY useful benefits, so let’s aim for only being in a state of stress only 10% of everyday. The rest of the day will be met with a different way of life and heart.

6) Remember two important messages: This is YOUR LIFE and LOVE IS THE ANSWER. Everything else is just filler.

5 TIPS TO HELP ANXIOUS AND NEGATIVE TEENS

HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW ANXIOUS AND STRESSED ADOLESCENTS ARE THESE DAYS?

It seems like negative thinking, overwhelm, and even depression plagues many of our young people.

This can be very worrisome and frustrating for parents, teachers, and guidance counselors.  It often leaves them feeling helpless about what to do and confused about what is wrong.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE FLAGS:  ANXIETY AND NEGATIVITY ARE SIGNS OF IMBALANCE
There are many important reasons why young people are experiencing low moods and high stress. Anxiety and depression often feed each other because hopelessness leads to overwhelm, and worry creates more powerlessness.

These heavy feelings drive unhealthy coping methods like anger, withdrawing, self-harm, drug & alcohol use, procrastinating, acting out, or pretending like everything is okay while they collapse inside.

Even if the teens in your life aren’t suffering from mood issues, you may notice a lot of “negative thinking”.  They might have a “ho-hum” belief that life is out of their control and “just happens” to them. Or they may “negatively forecast” about what will go wrong in the future and see the “down side” of everything.   This way of thinking usually becomes habitual and automatic, and needs to be re-wired now before it becomes a  way of life.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE DE-STRESS AND FEEL POSITIVE

1) MODEL POSITIVITY:  You’ve heard the expression “Be the change you wish to see in the world”.  If you would like to see more positive, powerful thinking in your teen, begin to embody this yourself.  Check your own negative thinking and anxiety:  do you worry, negatively project into the future, hold yourself or others back because of fear, lack confidence, or feel powerless in life?  Our young people are mirroring what they have learned from us…so get conscious of what you say and how you behave and SHOW them how to be more positive.

2) UNSCHEDULE: We often set up our lives in a way that creates stress-  over-scheduling and having too much to do makes it impossible to feel calm and centered.   Young people are learning that being overwhelmed is a normal way to function.  Being out of balance is bad for all of us-  and a child’s anxiety let’s adults know it’s time to make changes.  Even though you can’t eliminate everything in your schedule, make a commitment to dial back your commitments. Consider  making one night a week “family night” where you don’t have anything on the schedule except going for a bike ride or having dinner together.

 

Top 5 Tips Helping Teens Who are Anxious

 

3) CONSCIOUSLY CONNECT: If your family scatters to their electronic corners when you are together, it’s time to unplug for a purpose.  Will they object?  Yup.  Will you?  Probably, but that’s okay.  Teens are not going to ask you to connect with them and probably don’t think they need it.  But time together translates into a feeling of support and love.  Although we all need down time, but the intense amount of technology in our lives causes overstimulation and disconnect.  Plus, social media and negative news have many downsides. Help your child (and yourself) by carving out “technology-free” time.  Talk, take a walk, ride bikes, play a game, garden, eat without being in front of the TV, volunteer as a family, and did I mention TALK yet?

4) GET INTO NATURE:  There’s a reason why you actually feel better when you take a walk, especially if it’s in nature.  First, those natural anti-depressants get kicking.  Second, the chi of trees is so high that they literally will take the toxins from us and return clean energy to our beings.  If you want to feel better when stressed, go take a walk- in nature preferably.  Do this with your teens to show them how exercise and nature are a daily part of maintaining a positive mood.

5) ASK HOW YOU CAN HELP… AND ACTUALLY LISTEN: This might seems strange, but if you want to know how to help someone, ASK! Communicating is underused as a way to solve problems.  But it’s not just asking that helps-  it’s HOW we ask and HOW we listen.  So try this:  ask your teen “How would you like me to help you during this time? How can I support you?”  Then LISTEN to the answer, without defensiveness or needing to control their path. Just listen.  Your presence means more than your solutions.    And always validate by saying  “I am so sorry that happened to you. ”  Ask them if they would like your help to solve the problem or just want a listening ear. If they are ready for counseling, we can teach them the skills and tools for a lifetime of happiness.
BONUS TIP:
Kids need to learn how powerful they are.  We can teach them the practical tools and skills to consciously manifest their lives.  Have them start by making affirmations like “I am strong and can handle anything” or “Life flows easily”.  Making Vision Boards is a fun way to help them become powerful creators. Deep breathing and meditation are instant fixes for anxiety.

Don’t know how?  We can help!  The group below is a great way to start and we also have individual counseling for young people. Contact Beth Miller, LCSW, CEC, Positive Energy Counseling Center

HOW TO MANIFEST WITH THE SUPERMOON

The Supermoon is where The moon will be the closest it has been to the earth in almost 70 years and this won’t happen again for a long time. 

 

It should be pretty cool, the moon will seem HUUUGEEE, and will definitely pack even more of a punch on your life than typical full moons.  Heads up: moons influence water and you are made up of about 87% of the stuff. That said, you might notice that you are more emotional on Monday-  so stay away from conflict or charged situations to say the least.

 

Instead, use this ritual that I created to take advantage of the Supermoon and to harness it’s power.  Take the time to write out the answers to the below steps. Then, on Monday, once the moon is out, go outside and read each section beneath the moon.  This ritual will help you intentionally release what no longer serves you, and manifest what you now desire. 

 

HOW TO MANIFEST WITH THE SUPERMOON 

 Step 1:  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

A grateful heart draws more to it to be grateful for. Write down the many things you are grateful for in your life.  Say to the moon “Thank you, thank you, thank you” for each one of these things.

 

Step 2: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I RELEASE:

Out with the old and in with the new. Write down all of the behaviors, experiences, traumas, beliefs, lack of forgiveness, negative emotions, things that are holding you back, addictions, etc that you are reading to let go of. Think of this as cleaning your house of clutter and garbage so that you can allow new stuff into your life. 

 

Step 3: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I MANIFEST:

Now it’s time to dream both big and small. Write down all of the things you want to bring into your life now.  What are the new beliefs, experiences, miracles, opportunities, people, items, or relationships you desire? Be specific, tangible, and clear. And then get ready to allow in what you ask for.

 

Step 4: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I BLESS:

Use the power of the moon to send out positive energy. Write down all of the people you wish to bless, the situations you want to send peace to, the people that need help, the health issues that need healing.  Bless your friends and your “enemies”. You can even bless your bank account or unpaid student loan.  No harm in sending positive energy to all aspects of you life!

 

Step 5: THANK YOU

Give thanks once again for this opportunity and your relationship with the greater universe.

 

Step 6: CONNECT WITH YOUR SOUL

This may seem extra woo-woo-ish but I promise it works, so be willing to feel silly to get the results.

 Write down 5- 10 beliefs that you desire to be true about yourself (I.e. I am loved and loving, I am secure and confident, I am powerful, I am deeply happy, I am great at manifesting, I am a paid artist, I have a successful career, etc)

Go find a mirror and look yourself in the eyes and repeat these affirmations while looking into your own eyes.  Mind you, this will feel a little freaky.  You will start having an awareness that you are connecting to a very intense- and perhaps foreign part of you.  Basically, you are connecting deeply into your soul and this communication will then create change in your world. It’s like programming or harmonizing with the core part of you and bringing the truth of your soul to the earthly plane. 

FYI: It’s best to do this step everyday for maximum benefit.  I kid you not- this one works. I have seen people change dramatically from this mirror work alone.  Do it, even if it’s weird.

 

This Manifesting With The Supermoon ritual is totally worth doing.  Enjoy the view. It should be beautiful.

 

 

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, an advanced therapy that combines the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the world by phone.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to serve others by teaching the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations check out www.bethmillermeditations.com. For daily inspiration and free tools,  join the fun at  www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller

 

How To Not Wimp Out On Your Life

I’m going to tell you a hard, sad truth.  Most people are not living up to their potential in life. 

They are taking the path of least resistance, hiding behind being too busy or tired,  or they have been lulled to sleep by the opium of mediocrity  floating in the suburban air.  With the greatest amount of love and respect I’m letting you know that many of the people you know are wimping out because they aren’t living up to everything they are meant to be.  My job today, in this quick blog post, is to make sure that you aren’t one of them.

First, let’s do a quick quiz to see if you are achieving your highest self and living up to your natural best.  Answer these questions with a Yes or No:

Do you feel proud and brave about your own accomplishments everyday?
Do you have the thought ” Man that was hard. And I did it! ” at least once a day?
Are you living up to your dreams, talents,  and the kind of person you imagined  you would be?
Would you describe your life as fun, exciting, or interesting? Do you laugh ALOT?
Are you making a meaningful contribution to the lives of others or the world?
If you were to write your own Eulogy right now, would you feel satisfied by everything you have accomplished so far? How would people describe you at your funeral?

If you answered  NO to any of these questions, then this post is for you. I’m going to ask you make a few changes that will turn your life up. Here we go:

 

HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO SERIOUSLY RAISE THE BAR.
We all need compassionate support when times are tough.  Really sweet friends, loving Moms, and validating therapists are a life staple. But make sure the people that are around you everyday serve as an incubator championing how capable, unique,, and downright cool you are.  Make friends with people who set the bar high, those who are changing the world or achieving awesome accomplishments themselves.  Surround yourself with a mastermind group of people who peer-pressure you into being your highest self and remind you that life is full of miracles where impossible things happen by people like you.   Hint:  Birds of a feather flock together. So If you want to be rich, hang out with rich people.  If you want to be smart, make friends with intelligent people. If you want to be super happy or uber athletic or incredibly successful- well, you get the idea.

 

DON’T JUST DREAM BIG.
It’s awesome to dream up cool ideas, but your goals need to actually exit fantasy land and materialize into reality. The inner wimp will generally tell you to think small, be regular, and will squash most of your future dreams with thoughts like “It will take too much work”, “It will be too hard”, or”There’s not enough time or money” to bring a worthy goal to life.  It’s time to pick at least one dream you have and take the first step to making it a real-life breathing reality. Seriously, it’s time to just do it already.

 

ACT LIKE A SEAL.
Most of you what you accomplish is just a simple mental game.  Navy Seals and Marines use a pretty cool tool to break out of the rut of automatic underachieving that’s called The Rule of 40.  Basically, this rule says that when you can’t take any more, when you are at your physical or emotional limit, you actually still have about 40% more capability in your reserve tank.  Jesse Itzler, marathon runner and author of Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet, tells hysterical and profound tales about how this Rule of 40 made him realize how much stronger he was by tapping into that reserve.  Picture using The Rule of 40 when you are getting impatient with your kids, losing steam during your ironman workout, about to abandon your low-carb diet, or you feel like avoiding what needs to be done.. NO your NOT done, NO you should NOT settle or give up. You are way stronger than you think and you have 40% left in your reserve tank so let’s go.

 

DON’T FEED YOUR “WIMPY PAIN BODY”.
Author and spiritual teacher Echert Tolle writes in the Power of Now that we all have a “Pain Body” within us that holds our negative energy.  It’s the part of us that is attracted to unhappiness, anger, judgement, grief, emotional drama, and even illness. It’s also where our inner wimp lives.  I know your rational thinking brain probably believes that you want to be happy all the time, but your Pain Body tells a whole different story.

Don’t believe me? Just notice the next time you think a thought that makes you feel sad, rejected, angry, annoyed, overwhelmed or depressed.  Yup, that’s YOU thinking that thought that makes YOU feel bad.

That’s YOU thinking about how annoying your boss is, how unsupportive your spouse is, how unfair it is that you can’t lose weight. That’s YOU thinking how you are too tired for a tough workout, how bad your head hurts, how taxing your kids are, or how much you don’t want to make those cold calls at work.  And that’s you thinking how horrible it is to carry sheets of drywall for your new basement in 90 degree heat (Oh, wait, no, that was actually me thinking that last Sunday).

In other words, you are keeping our own WIMPY Pain Body alive by feeding it wimpy thoughts, telling yourself that you have reached your limit in some area of your life.

 

ONLY FEED YOUR “BADASS BODY”.
If there’s a Pain Body that holds your wimpy thoughts and all of your other negative emotions, then there is also a Badass Body that holds all of your incredibly adventurous and strong qualities.  And yes, we want you to feed the Badass Body with wild abandon.  How?  Stop thinking that things are “hard” and instead think thoughts like “Of course I can do this”, “Nothing can stop me”, “That pain is just fear leaving the body”, “If it’s hard it’s just what I need”, and “Strong is the new sexy.”  Other positive thoughts that will produce an exceptional life are “I’m ruthless about my own destiny” , “I’m a yes person”, “I do it because I can”, and “Let me just see what I can do”.

“THOUGHTS LIKE “STRONG IS THE NEW SEXY” CREATE AN EXCEPTIONAL LIFE.”

 


GOT WIMPY DNA?
Recently, neurological research has finally supported what I always hypothesized to be true: the brains of resilient people look different than the brains of less resilient people.  In other words, from a bio-psycho-social perspective you probably inherited however “strong” you are, and these traits were then reinforced by your social environment. On top of that, I’ve noticed that people who are emotionally and mentally strong tend to be more physically strong and healthy.  The very good news here is that you can rewire the neuroplasticity of your brain and ditch your grandfather’s wimpy DNA by doing eventhing in this blog post.  You can become stronger, and pass tougher DNA onto your offspring.  And – no joke- there is simply no better gift to give kids than resiliency.

 

LOVE AND THE F-BOMB.
I don’t mind cursing when it empowers me so I’m a big fan of saying “F- You” to beliefs that stop me. Literally like “F-you fear” or “F-you annoying limitations”.   This makes me the master of my wimpy thoughts, rather than them running the show subconsciously.   But I  equally like saying “I love you” to my challenges. I repeat the words LOVE LOVE LOVE in my mind when I start to get angry. I tell myself to trust whenever things are “going wrong” in my life. I use the Buddhist Prayer of Loving Kindness to get through a really hard workout.  Try it! Focusing on loving thoughts infuses strength, and removes weakening fear, into whatever you are doing.

 

STRONG IS THE NEW SEXY.
If you don’t feel sexy, strong, powerful, and elated I’m going to take a risk and say you are living a wimpy life.  If you feel bored or tired a lot, have given up on some of your coolest ideas because your too old, it’s too late, or you think you should just  sustain the life you created, you are selling yourself short.  If you know what needs to be done but you just aren’t taking the risk -or you are prioritizing someone else’s goals- it’s time to re-assess.   A wimpy life feels just like it sounds.

Feeling accomplished and alive is your birthright, and when you feed the badass within, you discover that you are a beast. And by beast I mean you are beautiful, bold, unstoppable, creative, and everything you were naturally meant to be.

 

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, an advanced therapy that combines the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe by phone.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to serve others by teaching the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations check out www.bethmillermeditations.com. For daily inspiration and free tools,  join the fun at  www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller

 

 

 

 

 

Do This One Scary Thing Every Day To Be Amazing


Do  one thing every day that scares you. —Mary Schmich

Always do what you are afraid to do. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.—Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

 

You’ve probably heard these quotes before, maybe even seen one on a dangling refrigerator magnet or peeling bumper sticker. 

And when you did,  you might’ve felt a surge of inspiration to face your fears or scale your insecurities, to “do the thing you think you cannot do.” But just as quickly as it came, that part of you that wanted to stand up to the monotony of life eventually fell back into the plush e-z chair of your normal routine,  or got consumed by the crowded chaos of your schedule. Because the truth is, even if you want to be bold and fearless, sometimes you are just too tired or busy to add one more thing in. Or, if you’ve become the protagonist in your own repetitive version of “Ground Hog Day”, you might not even know what new or exciting things would light you up anymore.

 

WARNING SIGNS THAT YOUR LIFE NEEDS A KICK INTHE PANTS. 
But here’s the deal:  I want you to remember that you have been built with a creative energy that demands that you expand and grow in order to feel alive. You have been given the ability to dream up ideas and play with life for a reason:  because having your hands in the clay of existence and shaping cool, fun things is why you are here in the first place.   So If you’re emotions have been falling flat, if your body feels soft, if you mind feels uncreative, if you relationships are unattended to , if your sex life is mundane- my guess is that  you are not really feeling alive.  You’re just living.  And let’s just agree that’s not good enough.


SCARING YOURSELF INTO BEING AMAZING.
So here’s the good news: The antidote for when life feels monotonous, automated, boring, dull, repetitive, depressing, anxious, overwhelming, or just not fun anymore is to do something that scares you everyday.   By “scares” I mean challenges you, stretches you, makes you feel butterflies in your belly, forces you to focus, and asks you to show up.

Now I’m not suggesting that you be so frightened that you’re throwing up on your shoes or popping Xanax, but you definitely should feel nervousness in your stomach at least a few times per week. 

You ever hear the phrase “You have to go out on a limb because that’s where all the fruit is”?  Well, to get to that fruit you’ve got to move away from the safety of the trunk of the tree.  You’ve got to rely on your inner strength, some core faith, to balance you as you shakily put one foot in front of the other. The nervousness you feel as you take risks is  simply confirmation that you are growing.  And this is a good signs that you are actually living.

 

IT’S YOUR BIG OL’ EGO THAT WILL KEEP YOU SMALL.
A few months ago  I walked into a Crossfit gym for the first time.  Funny thing is that it wasn’t the first day that made me the most nervous.- it was the second.  Sure on day one I was a little apprehensive because I didn’t know anyone or what to expect.  No biggy, I could handle that. But on day 2, day 3, day 15 my stomach would drop like an elevator to my feet as I pulled into the Crossfit driveway because I KNEW what was going to happen inside that gym.

It’s not just that the workouts were hard.  So what? I can do hard, or at least try (and there are modifications that adjust for beginning hacks like me anyway).  It was actually all the mental and emotional stuff that made me the most apprehensive-  the way my ego started acting up as I moved away from that trunk and went out on a limb.

A few facts about the adorable ego:  everyone has one, it’s always fear-based, and it must be tamed repeatedly if you want to live your most amazing life. The ego will show up in a variety of ways- it can make us overconfident or self-depricating, tell us we are better than others or not good enough at all. The ego wants to be good at everything, it doesn’t like learning curves, and it will do anything in it’s power to keep you from feeling embarrassed or looking like an imperfect idiot.  It’s main strategy is to keep itself safe by scaring you into not trying new things.

So you can imagine the temper tantrum my ego was having as I ventured into Crossfit, which is all about technique, whole-being-strength,  pushing your limits and learning a brand new vocabulary. You can still hear the reverberations of my stunned ego as I was told to climb the rope, toss over a tire,  or got gently corrected by my coach literally 1000 times about my inflexible shoulders. But since the ego only wants to be a master and never a student, I decided that I would become a master at being willing, at looking silly, at being an open-minded student whose only aspiration was to learn.

 

PLATEAUS, BURN-OUT, AND OTHER INDICATIONS OF MASTERY.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our routine and the goals we had in the past, that we  fool ourselves into thinking we are doing our current best. It’s like driving forward by looking in the rearview mirror.  But if you aren’t getting awesome results from your daily actions, it’s time to get real and challenge your life-patterns in some way.  I like to think of plateaus or feeling “bored” as a sign that I mastered something and it’s time to push things higher and harder.

Since you are an inherently creative being, that flat boring plateau is your inner GPS driving you  to create something new, to put it in 4 wheel drive and off road into the bumpy terrain of expansion.

For me, I hit a big fat plateau with my physical fitness despite running 5 days a week and weight lifting 2 or 3.  This fitness program allowed me to lie to myself a little everyday because I told myself that getting up at 5 am to run in the dark, frigid winter was my personal best.  See, I wasn’t radically accepting that my routine WAS NOT and WOULD NOT create any new results because I had hit a long flat plateau that went on for years and miles. It was time to get scared and try something new like Crossfit.

I don’t know what your plateaus are, but I bet YOU do.  Ask yourself in what life categories you keep doing the same action and expecting some brand new result.  What feels stale? What needs shaking up? What desires are you silencing to keep the status quo of life humming along?

 

CRAZY, FUN, SEXY FEAR.
I’ve noticed something cool that happens when you do stuff that makes you a little afraid:  all your senses start to wake up more.  After a few days of crossfit, I felt more creative.  This happened because my inner blocks were getting moved around, the film of stagnancy that muddied up my joy-receptor sites cleared.I started painting  and writing more, even taking the time to play with the poetry magnets in the foyer of the Sayville library.  I experienced a more intense vibrancy in all ways: flowers smelled more potent, music vibrated deeper. Even though I was living a pretty cool life before, any black and white edges suddenly sprung into technicolor.

In other words, trying new things takes you out of the sleeper-choke hold you accidentally wrested yourself into.   You wake up and life becomes sexier, richer, and more fun.

 

REMEMBERING WHEN YOU WERE MOST AWAKE.
When I think back on my life and review the times when I felt most creative, excited, powerful, or alive it was often when  I was  doing something that scared me and pushed my limits.Traveling by myself in Europe when I was 19 with no phone, luggage, or set destination. Jumping out of an airplane. Driving across country for a month with my girlfriends after college.  Giving a workshop to 300 people. Zip lining in Costa Rica. My first time being a DJ on WUSB.  Stuff like that.

I would like you to think of the times you felt the most vibrant and enthusiastic and see what the common denominators were.   My guess is that you were challenging yourself- maybe even feeling a little scared- and that’s why you felt the most alive.

 

REDEFINING THE GOAL OF LIFE. 
Here’s a hint:  the goal of life is not to succeed at everything or to always feel safe.  Now I’m not asking you to be adrenaline junky or to trade in the hard earned, mature security you have reliably built your life around.  But I AM suggesting that you rethink the purpose of your  daily existence.  The ego is going to tell you that the only reason to pursue goals is to gain more status, or money, or comfortable safety.  It’s also going to tell you that you shouldn’t do things that don’t guaranteed success or might make you look like a chump.   But I’m telling you that’s exactly why you SHOULD do new things.  Make a fool of yourself, get unsafe for a minute or two, be uncomfortable.  Because the goal of life is to expand and grow, and to beat fear with love, curiosity, and trust.

I can’t tell you what scares you. I don’t know what you have been avoiding, or what would really make your heart sing if you had the courage to go for it.  Maybe you should finally take guitar lessons and do open mikes at the coffeehouse. Maybe it’s time to travel-volunteer, to open yourself up to love or dating, to sign up for that marathon, to mountain bike in Machu Picchu, to fire your job and start your own business.. 

All I can say is be willing to get scared and jump.  Do one thing today – like right now– that makes you afraid and then do it several times a week at least.  Push yourself. It’s worth it.  After all, this is your LIFE we are talking about. Don’t let your ego keep you small.

 

Here’s a big SHOUT OUT to Bayport Crossfit in New York for creating a atmosphere that challenges your limits while also being super-fun and extremely supportive. If you’ve heard rumors that the Crossfit workouts or coaches are wicked or militant, you will be pleasantly surprised by how community-oriented and kind Bayport Crossfit is-  though you should definitely expect the workouts will kick your butt in all the right ways. Check out their website and also their facebook page.  

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, an advanced therapy that combines the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe by phone.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to serve others by teaching the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations check out www.bethmillermeditations.com. For daily inspiration and free tools,  join the fun at  www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller.

 

 

Healing Frequencies To Connect To Angels, Physically Heal, and Feel Love…

Did you know that there are frequencies you can listen to that will elevate your energy level? These tones can also connect you to angels, love, and self-healing.

But here’s an added benefit: if you have trouble meditating, this can be a great way to get your “zen” on without trying so hard… Check it out!

(The information for this blog came directly from www.attunedvibrations.com. They do a great job of helping people understand how healing frequencies work.  PLUS they have a ton of FREE TONES  on their website for you to experience).

Why use healing frequencies?

Because everything (including you) is about vibration and balance. Your body and all matter exist at different rates of vibration and have their own resonant frequencies. Therefore, sound and vibration play a fundamental role in your life by affecting physical, mental and spiritual levels of your human being.

The creative and transformative potential of sound has been scientifically verified. Sound vibration actually changes the structure of matter.

As you increase the frequency the matter keeps forming more complex patterns. Note that these patterns are strictly the result of physical vibration.

This action of vibration on matter is known as Cymatics. Hans Jenny (1904-1972), the father of Cymatics, claimed that physical healing could be aided by vibrational tones. Now we know that he was right. Researchers and sound therapists use specific healing frequencies to bring harmony and balance in the physical body.

What can healing frequencies do for you?

By listening to Solfeggio, 432 and 528 Hz music you can:

  • release yourself from stress
  • raise your energy
  • expand creativity and consciousness
  • improve memory
  • unlock your potential

Click to read testimonials

The science behind healing music

The world of science is constantly evolving. What was believed as impossible yesterday can become the most astounding fact today. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity stated: Mass is energy. There is no “matter”. In quantum physics, scientists are beginning to realize that everything is a process.

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music” Albert Einstein

Fritjof Capra says, “The processes that create sound into harmonious music are the same processes that govern all associating vibrations throughout the universe.” We are a vital part of the process. Hans Jenny and his Cymatic phenomena clearly demonstrate that how we see things is always a result of more subtle, invisible vibrations. Change the vibration, and you change the manifestation.

The new physics reveals that everything is moving and has a frequency. As technology has evolved to make the world of sound visible, more scientists are forced to change their viewpoint about the vibrational nature of human beings. And many of them are beginning to realize that sound is the source of physical life.

What does all this mean for you?

Awaken your spirit with the healing music.  Science has begun to re-discover the secrets of the resonance and its impact on our health. As beings of conscience, we rely on the natural resonance of attracting what we want to achieve: love, happiness, personal development, health and abundance. We are not separated from the vibrations that are interdependent in the resonance and fundamental to maintain and regulate our mood and health.

Healing frequencies can bring balance, relax and wholeness to your body.The music I share with you employs overlays of specific harmonic tones. These tones have been rediscovered by modern science, but they’re nothing new to the universe.

Ancient civilizations understood the powerful benefit of sound and vibration. They composed music based on the perfect mathematical proportions that can be found in the construction of many sacred temples, space and time. You can tune yourself to the perfect rhythm by opening your inner ear to the healing music. Attuned Vibrations healing music is the missing link for connecting yourself with the melody of the Universe.

 

TRY IT OUT NOW!

There are plenty of websites to find these healing frequencies, but I like www.attunedvibrations.com.  On the menu bar click on the FREE TONES section.  There you will see downloads like these.  There are 9 free ones all together.

Solfeggio Frequency 963 Hz
The frequency of 963 Hz is connected with the Light, and enables direct experience. Re-connects you with the Spirit, or the non-vibrational energies of the spiritual world.
&

Solfeggio Frequency 741 Hz
Leads you into the power of self-expression, which results in a pure and stable life. The intent behind the 741Hz frequency is to solve and cleanse.

Let me know what your experience with them is like! I love them…
Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !

 

 

 

 

“Dear Beth, How Can I Stay Happy and Centered When My Husband Is Being A Jerk?”

When “Ann” emailed me this question, I knew it had to be our first “STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN” post.  I have so many clients who Find their inner-peace to be fragile and easily rocked By others.  Here’s what she ASKED:

 

Dear Beth,
I have been consciously walking along a more spiritual path and am trying to do things everyday that make me feel more peaceful.  I meditate, get some exercise in, and read a lot of self-help books…and generally feel good.  But sometimes when I come home and see my husband it’s like it all goes out the window.  Don’t get me wrong- I love him and am glad to be married.  But it seems like it’s hard to stay in that peaceful place when he is grumpy, doesn’t listen to a word I say, or pushes my buttons. I get mad easily and just keep reacting to him.

I don’t know what I am doing wrong, but it doesn’t seem like I am very good at being happy when I have to deal with difficult people.  This makes me feel bad about my progress.  Do you have any advice about how I can be centered and happy even when my husband is being a jerk?”


Ann’s dilemma is a common one, and the problem isn’t just A “jerky” husband. We ALl GEt Triggered by People in Our lives…


A lot of people experience the evaporation of their inner peace when they encounter a particular co-worker, get a phone message from an in-law, or have a tenuous interaction with a neighbor.  It seems like inner peace is so fragile, like it collapses too easily.

The goal of this article is to give you very practical tools you can use to stay happy, even when your partner/coworker/boss/ neighbor is activating a defensive reaction in you.  If you try these suggestions, you are more likely to stay cool even when your environment is crazytown:

 

1)      Observe Your Own Inner Space:  The first thing you want to develop is the ability to observe what is happening within your body, mind, and emotions.  When the other person starts to trigger you, activate the Observer within you:  observe how you are getting tense in your chest, feeling constricted, getting angry, thinking negative thoughts.

2)      Watch The Situation Like A TV Show: Now start watching the other person like you are watching TV- with distance and as if they are separate from you.  See their words and behaviors as if you are not caught up in the situation with them, but are actually witnessing them.

3)      Breathe:  Deeply breathe into your belly a few times.  This will reduce your adrenaline-fueled stress response (making you less likely to react) and give your inner space.

4)      Ask Yourself “Should I React The Same Way I Always Do?”:  How many times are you going to have the same kind of reaction to the same triggers?  In other words, if your typical way of reacting hasn’t changed the other person or your relationship, it’s time to choose a different tactic.

5)      Realize Their CRAZYTOWN Isn’t Yours: It’s essential to become aware that when someone is in crisis or angry or moody, you do not have to join them. Just because they are off-center, you don’t have to be angry or moody too.  Let them have their crazytown.  You can choose to stay peaceful or happy anyway.

6)     Compassionately Let Them Stay On “Misery Island”: You need to know that it’s ok to let the other person to stay angry or sad or grumpy while you take care of your own reality.  My advice is to let them stay on “Misery Island” as long as they need to, while you row back to the mainland where your life and happiness live.  Don’t try to control or change them. When people are being “jerks” they are often unaware of it or are dealing with something internally. Compassioantly ask them once “Are you ok?  What can I do to help?”, hear and help them if they are willing, but then move on to step # 8 .

7)      Go Find Your Own Happy:  You ultimate goal is to connect with your own most centered, peaceful, wise, happy self.  Nothing good comes from connecting with the lower and more reactive versions of you.  Walk away from any tense situations and do whatever it takes to feel good within yourself: take a walk, fold laundry, call a friend (but don’t complain to them about the situation), meditate, think of a positive memory, dive into your hobby.  Get right within yourself , do not feed your inner victim, focus on your strengths, and stop thinking about them. Find your way back to peace and love by being and doing peaceful and loving things.

 

 

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !

 

STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN- My new advice column to be happy and peaceful, even when life is insane


Hey there!  I’ve got a new blog series that’s right up your alley:  

 

“STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN” is an advice column about how to be sane and happy despite all the insane stressors in your life.   I mean-let’s face it- the stuff that comes at you all day is bananas! It’s hard to stay centered when life- and fruit- threaten to knock you off your peaceful game.

But I know you- you’re just like me- and you want to be your best no matter what’s going on in your day.  You want to handle your kids with humor and patience, even when they are screaming or throwing food or ignoring you. You want to be optimistic and creative at work, even if you have impossible deadlines and a meany for a boss.  You want to be loving and fun with your partner, even when the grind or monotony of daily life threatens your satisfaction . You want to feel abundant and safe and awesome, even if it feels like the odds are sometimes  against you.

In a nutshell, you want to find ways to not trigger the worst autopilot reactions in you.

That’s right.  You’re goal is to be a shining beacon of love right in the middle of Your Own Crazytown…because you know that feeling good about your life is the only thing that matters.


Well, great news! There are some pretty cool tools and techniques to connect with your best self even when stuff gets tough, and STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN is going to share them with you.


So here’s the deal: this blog series will be written by you and me together. You guys are going to keep telling me what drives you crazy, what keeps you from being your best, and I will give you some awesome tools to get you back to center and restore your “happy”.  Many of you already tell me your challenges in blog comments, emails, and in private sessions with me. For the rest of you, send me your comments!


Recently, a reader named “Ann” emailed me a question and because a lot of my clients have the same problem as her, I made it my first STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN article.  She asked:

“Dear Beth, How can I stay centered and happy when my husband is being a jerk?


Maybe you can relate…..
It will be my next post, so be sure to check out the advice I gave her!

 

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !

 

WHAT “DEAD” PEOPLE TOLD ME THEY DO IN THE AFTERLIFE

I wasn’t always able to communicate with people who have “died”…

I developed this ability by honing in on my intuition and developing my psychic skills over time. Over the last few years, the  “deceased” loved ones of my clients have been showing up in session to give them messages loud and clear.  Predictably, they seem to know when my client’s are going through particular issues that they want to help with.  The ones who have crossed over will give the living clients exactly the messages and information they need to feel better, move forward, or know something important.

As you probably noticed, I use quotes when referring to people being “dead” because I don’t feel they have died at all.  Rather, as you will learn in this post, they are extremely alive and vibrant- but just in a different way.

One of the things I have always been most curious about is what people who have transitioned DO all day.  Like, what do they do with their time?  What’s it like there? How does time work?  Beyond my own curiosity, it turns out that my clients find the answers to these questions very relieving- knowledge seems to put their worries at ease.  So every time I get a chance to talk with someone who has crossed over, I ask them what they do all day and the coolest thing is that they actually tell me or show me. Let me give you an example:

When one of my regular clients, who had lost his brother years ago (in what we think of as a “tragic” way) came into session,  I felt his brother’s presence. Once I let my client know that his brother wanted to communicate with him, I relayed the messages that the deceased brother had.  Then we began a dialogue, where I asked some questions my client had for his brother.  “What do you do all day?” I asked.  And what he showed me was profound:  he was surfing on a never ending rainbow-colored wave of energy.  When I told my client this, he said “My brother was a windsurfer! He loved being in the water and surfing- it was his favorite thing to do!”   Once I told my client that his brother is spending his time in the afterlife surfing on a beautiful wave of energy all day, he was elated.

For all the years since his brother died, my client had been feeling badly that his brother’s life was cut short.  He was upset that his brother wasn’t able to live fully here on earth.  But meanwhile, his brother is literally having the time of his life, catching waves and hanging ten In the afterlife.


Now here’s the coolest part of this story:  in our session, the brother told my client to stop focusing on the life he didn’t get to live.  Instead, he asked him to celebrate the life he did live.  Why?  Because how we think of the “dead” affects them energetically.  If we focus on what they missed or didn’t have, we send them a lower energy.  If we focus on the beauty or lessons of their life, what they taught us, the love they shared or how they impacted the world, they are spiritually elevated.

That’s right.  I’m saying that the energy you feel about those who crossed over affects them and influences their spiritual development. I’m saying that if you celebrate your loved ones who “died” and honor their lives by focusing on what they taught you, their own enlightenment increases because their soul’s journey on earth had the intended positive impact.  And because I know this to be true, the brother instructed my client about what to do anytime he starts to feel badly about the tragic accident that happened years ago:  he said to honor him the best, grab hold of life like an adventurous surfer and have a blast riding the wave of life.

PS I’ll tell you another time what other people said they do with their time in the afterlife,  about how time works, and what they see around them.  Their answers were pretty awesome too!

 

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !