I’m going to tell you a hard, sad truth.  Most people are not living up to their potential in life. 

They are taking the path of least resistance, hiding behind being too busy or tired,  or they have been lulled to sleep by the opium of mediocrity  floating in the suburban air.  With the greatest amount of love and respect I’m letting you know that many of the people you know are wimping out because they aren’t living up to everything they are meant to be.  My job today, in this quick blog post, is to make sure that you aren’t one of them.

First, let’s do a quick quiz to see if you are achieving your highest self and living up to your natural best.  Answer these questions with a Yes or No:

Do you feel proud and brave about your own accomplishments everyday?
Do you have the thought ” Man that was hard. And I did it! ” at least once a day?
Are you living up to your dreams, talents,  and the kind of person you imagined  you would be?
Would you describe your life as fun, exciting, or interesting? Do you laugh ALOT?
Are you making a meaningful contribution to the lives of others or the world?
If you were to write your own Eulogy right now, would you feel satisfied by everything you have accomplished so far? How would people describe you at your funeral?

If you answered  NO to any of these questions, then this post is for you. I’m going to ask you make a few changes that will turn your life up. Here we go:

HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO SERIOUSLY RAISE THE BAR.
We all need compassionate support when times are tough.  Really sweet friends, loving Moms, and validating therapists are a life staple. But make sure the people that are around you everyday serve as an incubator championing how capable, unique,, and downright cool you are.  Make friends with people who set the bar high, those who are changing the world or achieving awesome accomplishments themselves.  Surround yourself with a mastermind group of people who peer-pressure you into being your highest self and remind you that life is full of miracles where impossible things happen by people like you.   Hint:  Birds of a feather flock together. So If you want to be rich, hang out with rich people.  If you want to be smart, make friends with intelligent people. If you want to be super happy or uber athletic or incredibly successful- well, you get the idea.

DON’T JUST DREAM BIG.
It’s awesome to dream up cool ideas, but your goals need to actually exit fantasy land and materialize into reality. The inner wimp will generally tell you to think small, be regular, and will squash most of your future dreams with thoughts like “It will take too much work”, “It will be too hard”, or”There’s not enough time or money” to bring a worthy goal to life.  It’s time to pick at least one dream you have and take the first step to making it a real-life breathing reality. Seriously, it’s time to just do it already.

ACT LIKE A SEAL.
Most of you what you accomplish is just a simple mental game.  Navy Seals and Marines use a pretty cool tool to break out of the rut of automatic underachieving that’s called The Rule of 40.  Basically, this rule says that when you can’t take any more, when you are at your physical or emotional limit, you actually still have about 40% more capability in your reserve tank.  Jesse Itzler, marathon runner and author of Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet, tells hysterical and profound tales about how this Rule of 40 made him realize how much stronger he was by tapping into that reserve.  Picture using The Rule of 40 when you are getting impatient with your kids, losing steam during your ironman workout, about to abandon your low-carb diet, or you feel like avoiding what needs to be done.. NO your NOT done, NO you should NOT settle or give up. You are way stronger than you think and you have 40% left in your reserve tank so let’s go.

DON’T FEED YOUR “WIMPY PAIN BODY”.
Author and spiritual teacher Echert Tolle writes in the Power of Now that we all have a “Pain Body” within us that holds our negative energy.  It’s the part of us that is attracted to unhappiness, anger, judgement, grief, emotional drama, and even illness. It’s also where our inner wimp lives.  I know your rational thinking brain probably believes that you want to be happy all the time, but your Pain Body tells a whole different story.

Don’t believe me? Just notice the next time you think a thought that makes you feel sad, rejected, angry, annoyed, overwhelmed or depressed.  Yup, that’s YOU thinking that thought that makes YOU feel bad.

That’s YOU thinking about how annoying your boss is, how unsupportive your spouse is, how unfair it is that you can’t lose weight. That’s YOU thinking how you are too tired for a tough workout, how bad your head hurts, how taxing your kids are, or how much you don’t want to make those cold calls at work.  And that’s you thinking how horrible it is to carry sheets of drywall for your new basement in 90 degree heat (Oh, wait, no, that was actually me thinking that last Sunday).

In other words, you are keeping our own WIMPY Pain Body alive by feeding it wimpy thoughts, telling yourself that you have reached your limit in some area of your life.

ONLY FEED YOUR “BADASS BODY”.
If there’s a Pain Body that holds your wimpy thoughts and all of your other negative emotions, then there is also a Badass Body that holds all of your incredibly adventurous and strong qualities.  And yes, we want you to feed the Badass Body with wild abandon.  How?  Stop thinking that things are “hard” and instead think thoughts like “Of course I can do this”, “Nothing can stop me”, “That pain is just fear leaving the body”, “If it’s hard it’s just what I need”, and “Strong is the new sexy.”  Other positive thoughts that will produce an exceptional life are “I’m ruthless about my own destiny” , “I’m a yes person”, “I do it because I can”, and “Let me just see what I can do”.

“THOUGHTS LIKE “STRONG IS THE NEW SEXY” CREATE AN EXCEPTIONAL LIFE.”

GOT WIMPY DNA?
Recently, neurological research has finally supported what I always hypothesized to be true: the brains of resilient people look different than the brains of less resilient people.  In other words, from a bio-psycho-social perspective you probably inherited however “strong” you are, and these traits were then reinforced by your social environment. On top of that, I’ve noticed that people who are emotionally and mentally strong tend to be more physically strong and healthy.  The very good news here is that you can rewire the neuroplasticity of your brain and ditch your grandfather’s wimpy DNA by doing eventhing in this blog post.  You can become stronger, and pass tougher DNA onto your offspring.  And – no joke- there is simply no better gift to give kids than resiliency.

LOVE AND THE F-BOMB.
I don’t mind cursing when it empowers me so I’m a big fan of saying “F- You” to beliefs that stop me. Literally like “F-you fear” or “F-you annoying limitations”.   This makes me the master of my wimpy thoughts, rather than them running the show subconsciously.   But I  equally like saying “I love you” to my challenges. I repeat the words LOVE LOVE LOVE in my mind when I start to get angry. I tell myself to trust whenever things are “going wrong” in my life. I use the Buddhist Prayer of Loving Kindness to get through a really hard workout.  Try it! Focusing on loving thoughts infuses strength, and removes weakening fear, into whatever you are doing.

STRONG IS THE NEW SEXY.
If you don’t feel sexy, strong, powerful, and elated I’m going to take a risk and say you are living a wimpy life.  If you feel bored or tired a lot, have given up on some of your coolest ideas because your too old, it’s too late, or you think you should just  sustain the life you created, you are selling yourself short.  If you know what needs to be done but you just aren’t taking the risk -or you are prioritizing someone else’s goals- it’s time to re-assess.   A wimpy life feels just like it sounds.

Feeling accomplished and alive is your birthright, and when you feed the badass within, you discover that you are a beast. And by beast I mean you are beautiful, bold, unstoppable, creative, and everything you were naturally meant to be.

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, an advanced therapy that combines the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe by phone.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to serve others by teaching the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations check out www.bethmillermeditations.com. For daily inspiration and free tools,  join the fun at  www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller

Do  one thing every day that scares you. —Mary Schmich

Always do what you are afraid to do. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.—Eleanor Roosevelt

You’ve probably heard these quotes before, maybe even seen one on a dangling refrigerator magnet or peeling bumper sticker. 

And when you did,  you might’ve felt a surge of inspiration to face your fears or scale your insecurities, to “do the thing you think you cannot do.” But just as quickly as it came, that part of you that wanted to stand up to the monotony of life eventually fell back into the plush e-z chair of your normal routine,  or got consumed by the crowded chaos of your schedule. Because the truth is, even if you want to be bold and fearless, sometimes you are just too tired or busy to add one more thing in. Or, if you’ve become the protagonist in your own repetitive version of “Ground Hog Day”, you might not even know what new or exciting things would light you up anymore.

WARNING SIGNS THAT YOUR LIFE NEEDS A KICK INTHE PANTS. 
But here’s the deal:  I want you to remember that you have been built with a creative energy that demands that you expand and grow in order to feel alive. You have been given the ability to dream up ideas and play with life for a reason:  because having your hands in the clay of existence and shaping cool, fun things is why you are here in the first place.   So If you’re emotions have been falling flat, if your body feels soft, if you mind feels uncreative, if you relationships are unattended to , if your sex life is mundane- my guess is that  you are not really feeling alive.  You’re just living.  And let’s just agree that’s not good enough.

SCARING YOURSELF INTO BEING AMAZING.
So here’s the good news: The antidote for when life feels monotonous, automated, boring, dull, repetitive, depressing, anxious, overwhelming, or just not fun anymore is to do something that scares you everyday.   By “scares” I mean challenges you, stretches you, makes you feel butterflies in your belly, forces you to focus, and asks you to show up.

Now I’m not suggesting that you be so frightened that you’re throwing up on your shoes or popping Xanax, but you definitely should feel nervousness in your stomach at least a few times per week. 

You ever hear the phrase “You have to go out on a limb because that’s where all the fruit is”?  Well, to get to that fruit you’ve got to move away from the safety of the trunk of the tree.  You’ve got to rely on your inner strength, some core faith, to balance you as you shakily put one foot in front of the other. The nervousness you feel as you take risks is  simply confirmation that you are growing.  And this is a good signs that you are actually living.

IT’S YOUR BIG OL’ EGO THAT WILL KEEP YOU SMALL.
A few months ago  I walked into a Crossfit gym for the first time.  Funny thing is that it wasn’t the first day that made me the most nervous.- it was the second.  Sure on day one I was a little apprehensive because I didn’t know anyone or what to expect.  No biggy, I could handle that. But on day 2, day 3, day 15 my stomach would drop like an elevator to my feet as I pulled into the Crossfit driveway because I KNEW what was going to happen inside that gym.

It’s not just that the workouts were hard.  So what? I can do hard, or at least try (and there are modifications that adjust for beginning hacks like me anyway).  It was actually all the mental and emotional stuff that made me the most apprehensive-  the way my ego started acting up as I moved away from that trunk and went out on a limb.

A few facts about the adorable ego:  everyone has one, it’s always fear-based, and it must be tamed repeatedly if you want to live your most amazing life. The ego will show up in a variety of ways- it can make us overconfident or self-depricating, tell us we are better than others or not good enough at all. The ego wants to be good at everything, it doesn’t like learning curves, and it will do anything in it’s power to keep you from feeling embarrassed or looking like an imperfect idiot.  It’s main strategy is to keep itself safe by scaring you into not trying new things.

So you can imagine the temper tantrum my ego was having as I ventured into Crossfit, which is all about technique, whole-being-strength,  pushing your limits and learning a brand new vocabulary. You can still hear the reverberations of my stunned ego as I was told to climb the rope, toss over a tire,  or got gently corrected by my coach literally 1000 times about my inflexible shoulders. But since the ego only wants to be a master and never a student, I decided that I would become a master at being willing, at looking silly, at being an open-minded student whose only aspiration was to learn.

PLATEAUS, BURN-OUT, AND OTHER INDICATIONS OF MASTERY.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our routine and the goals we had in the past, that we  fool ourselves into thinking we are doing our current best. It’s like driving forward by looking in the rearview mirror.  But if you aren’t getting awesome results from your daily actions, it’s time to get real and challenge your life-patterns in some way.  I like to think of plateaus or feeling “bored” as a sign that I mastered something and it’s time to push things higher and harder.

Since you are an inherently creative being, that flat boring plateau is your inner GPS driving you  to create something new, to put it in 4 wheel drive and off road into the bumpy terrain of expansion.

For me, I hit a big fat plateau with my physical fitness despite running 5 days a week and weight lifting 2 or 3.  This fitness program allowed me to lie to myself a little everyday because I told myself that getting up at 5 am to run in the dark, frigid winter was my personal best.  See, I wasn’t radically accepting that my routine WAS NOT and WOULD NOT create any new results because I had hit a long flat plateau that went on for years and miles. It was time to get scared and try something new like Crossfit.

I don’t know what your plateaus are, but I bet YOU do.  Ask yourself in what life categories you keep doing the same action and expecting some brand new result.  What feels stale? What needs shaking up? What desires are you silencing to keep the status quo of life humming along?

CRAZY, FUN, SEXY FEAR.
I’ve noticed something cool that happens when you do stuff that makes you a little afraid:  all your senses start to wake up more.  After a few days of crossfit, I felt more creative.  This happened because my inner blocks were getting moved around, the film of stagnancy that muddied up my joy-receptor sites cleared.I started painting  and writing more, even taking the time to play with the poetry magnets in the foyer of the Sayville library.  I experienced a more intense vibrancy in all ways: flowers smelled more potent, music vibrated deeper. Even though I was living a pretty cool life before, any black and white edges suddenly sprung into technicolor.

In other words, trying new things takes you out of the sleeper-choke hold you accidentally wrested yourself into.   You wake up and life becomes sexier, richer, and more fun.

REMEMBERING WHEN YOU WERE MOST AWAKE.
When I think back on my life and review the times when I felt most creative, excited, powerful, or alive it was often when  I was  doing something that scared me and pushed my limits.Traveling by myself in Europe when I was 19 with no phone, luggage, or set destination. Jumping out of an airplane. Driving across country for a month with my girlfriends after college.  Giving a workshop to 300 people. Zip lining in Costa Rica. My first time being a DJ on WUSB.  Stuff like that.

I would like you to think of the times you felt the most vibrant and enthusiastic and see what the common denominators were.   My guess is that you were challenging yourself- maybe even feeling a little scared- and that’s why you felt the most alive.

REDEFINING THE GOAL OF LIFE. 
Here’s a hint:  the goal of life is not to succeed at everything or to always feel safe.  Now I’m not asking you to be adrenaline junky or to trade in the hard earned, mature security you have reliably built your life around.  But I AM suggesting that you rethink the purpose of your  daily existence.  The ego is going to tell you that the only reason to pursue goals is to gain more status, or money, or comfortable safety.  It’s also going to tell you that you shouldn’t do things that don’t guaranteed success or might make you look like a chump.   But I’m telling you that’s exactly why you SHOULD do new things.  Make a fool of yourself, get unsafe for a minute or two, be uncomfortable.  Because the goal of life is to expand and grow, and to beat fear with love, curiosity, and trust.

I can’t tell you what scares you. I don’t know what you have been avoiding, or what would really make your heart sing if you had the courage to go for it.  Maybe you should finally take guitar lessons and do open mikes at the coffeehouse. Maybe it’s time to travel-volunteer, to open yourself up to love or dating, to sign up for that marathon, to mountain bike in Machu Picchu, to fire your job and start your own business.. 

All I can say is be willing to get scared and jump.  Do one thing today – like right now– that makes you afraid and then do it several times a week at least.  Push yourself. It’s worth it.  After all, this is your LIFE we are talking about. Don’t let your ego keep you small.

Here’s a big SHOUT OUT to Bayport Crossfit in New York for creating a atmosphere that challenges your limits while also being super-fun and extremely supportive. If you’ve heard rumors that the Crossfit workouts or coaches are wicked or militant, you will be pleasantly surprised by how community-oriented and kind Bayport Crossfit is-  though you should definitely expect the workouts will kick your butt in all the right ways. Check out their website and also their facebook page.  

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, an advanced therapy that combines the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe by phone.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to serve others by teaching the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations check out www.bethmillermeditations.com. For daily inspiration and free tools,  join the fun at  www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller.

Did you know that there are frequencies you can listen to that will elevate your energy level? These tones can also connect you to angels, love, and self-healing.

But here’s an added benefit: if you have trouble meditating, this can be a great way to get your “zen” on without trying so hard… Check it out!

(The information for this blog came directly from www.attunedvibrations.com. They do a great job of helping people understand how healing frequencies work.  PLUS they have a ton of FREE TONES  on their website for you to experience).

Why use healing frequencies?

Because everything (including you) is about vibration and balance. Your body and all matter exist at different rates of vibration and have their own resonant frequencies. Therefore, sound and vibration play a fundamental role in your life by affecting physical, mental and spiritual levels of your human being.

The creative and transformative potential of sound has been scientifically verified. Sound vibration actually changes the structure of matter.

As you increase the frequency the matter keeps forming more complex patterns. Note that these patterns are strictly the result of physical vibration.

This action of vibration on matter is known as Cymatics. Hans Jenny (1904-1972), the father of Cymatics, claimed that physical healing could be aided by vibrational tones. Now we know that he was right. Researchers and sound therapists use specific healing frequencies to bring harmony and balance in the physical body.

What can healing frequencies do for you?

By listening to Solfeggio, 432 and 528 Hz music you can:

• release yourself from stress
• raise your energy
• expand creativity and consciousness
• improve memory
• unlock your potential

Click to read testimonials

The science behind healing music

The world of science is constantly evolving. What was believed as impossible yesterday can become the most astounding fact today. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity stated: Mass is energy. There is no “matter”. In quantum physics, scientists are beginning to realize that everything is a process.

“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music” Albert Einstein

Fritjof Capra says, “The processes that create sound into harmonious music are the same processes that govern all associating vibrations throughout the universe.” We are a vital part of the process. Hans Jenny and his Cymatic phenomena clearly demonstrate that how we see things is always a result of more subtle, invisible vibrations. Change the vibration, and you change the manifestation.

The new physics reveals that everything is moving and has a frequency. As technology has evolved to make the world of sound visible, more scientists are forced to change their viewpoint about the vibrational nature of human beings. And many of them are beginning to realize that sound is the source of physical life.

What does all this mean for you?

Awaken your spirit with the healing music.  Science has begun to re-discover the secrets of the resonance and its impact on our health. As beings of conscience, we rely on the natural resonance of attracting what we want to achieve: love, happiness, personal development, health and abundance. We are not separated from the vibrations that are interdependent in the resonance and fundamental to maintain and regulate our mood and health.

Healing frequencies can bring balance, relax and wholeness to your body.The music I share with you employs overlays of specific harmonic tones. These tones have been rediscovered by modern science, but they’re nothing new to the universe.

Ancient civilizations understood the powerful benefit of sound and vibration. They composed music based on the perfect mathematical proportions that can be found in the construction of many sacred temples, space and time. You can tune yourself to the perfect rhythm by opening your inner ear to the healing music. Attuned Vibrations healing music is the missing link for connecting yourself with the melody of the Universe.

TRY IT OUT NOW!

There are plenty of websites to find these healing frequencies, but I like www.attunedvibrations.com.  On the menu bar click on the FREE TONES section.  There you will see downloads like these.  There are 9 free ones all together.

When “Ann” emailed me this question, I knew it had to be our first “STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN” post.  I have so many clients who Find their inner-peace to be fragile and easily rocked By others.  Here’s what she ASKED:

Dear Beth,
I have been consciously walking along a more spiritual path and am trying to do things everyday that make me feel more peaceful.  I meditate, get some exercise in, and read a lot of self-help books…and generally feel good.  But sometimes when I come home and see my husband it’s like it all goes out the window.  Don’t get me wrong- I love him and am glad to be married.  But it seems like it’s hard to stay in that peaceful place when he is grumpy, doesn’t listen to a word I say, or pushes my buttons. I get mad easily and just keep reacting to him.

I don’t know what I am doing wrong, but it doesn’t seem like I am very good at being happy when I have to deal with difficult people.  This makes me feel bad about my progress.  Do you have any advice about how I can be centered and happy even when my husband is being a jerk?”

Ann’s dilemma is a common one, and the problem isn’t just A “jerky” husband. We ALl GEt Triggered by People in Our lives…

A lot of people experience the evaporation of their inner peace when they encounter a particular co-worker, get a phone message from an in-law, or have a tenuous interaction with a neighbor.  It seems like inner peace is so fragile, like it collapses too easily.

The goal of this article is to give you very practical tools you can use to stay happy, even when your partner/coworker/boss/ neighbor is activating a defensive reaction in you.  If you try these suggestions, you are more likely to stay cool even when your environment is crazytown:

1)      Observe Your Own Inner Space:  The first thing you want to develop is the ability to observe what is happening within your body, mind, and emotions.  When the other person starts to trigger you, activate the Observer within you:  observe how you are getting tense in your chest, feeling constricted, getting angry, thinking negative thoughts.

2)      Watch The Situation Like A TV Show: Now start watching the other person like you are watching TV- with distance and as if they are separate from you.  See their words and behaviors as if you are not caught up in the situation with them, but are actually witnessing them.

3)      Breathe:  Deeply breathe into your belly a few times.  This will reduce your adrenaline-fueled stress response (making you less likely to react) and give your inner space.

4)      Ask Yourself “Should I React The Same Way I Always Do?”:  How many times are you going to have the same kind of reaction to the same triggers?  In other words, if your typical way of reacting hasn’t changed the other person or your relationship, it’s time to choose a different tactic.

5)      Realize Their CRAZYTOWN Isn’t Yours: It’s essential to become aware that when someone is in crisis or angry or moody, you do not have to join them. Just because they are off-center, you don’t have to be angry or moody too.  Let them have their crazytown.  You can choose to stay peaceful or happy anyway.

6)     Compassionately Let Them Stay On “Misery Island”: You need to know that it’s ok to let the other person to stay angry or sad or grumpy while you take care of your own reality.  My advice is to let them stay on “Misery Island” as long as they need to, while you row back to the mainland where your life and happiness live.  Don’t try to control or change them. When people are being “jerks” they are often unaware of it or are dealing with something internally. Compassioantly ask them once “Are you ok?  What can I do to help?”, hear and help them if they are willing, but then move on to step # 8 .

7)      Go Find Your Own Happy:  You ultimate goal is to connect with your own most centered, peaceful, wise, happy self.  Nothing good comes from connecting with the lower and more reactive versions of you.  Walk away from any tense situations and do whatever it takes to feel good within yourself: take a walk, fold laundry, call a friend (but don’t complain to them about the situation), meditate, think of a positive memory, dive into your hobby.  Get right within yourself , do not feed your inner victim, focus on your strengths, and stop thinking about them. Find your way back to peace and love by being and doing peaceful and loving things.

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !