Category: Divine Helpers

Just Say No To The New Normal: 6 Steps To Start A Revolution Against Stress, Worry and Anxiety

If you’re anything like me, you might be getting alarmed at our new emotional normal these days. You know how everyone worries, talks about stress, and is anxious in one way or another? Now, we know that stress has always existed for humans – after all, it’s the very stress hormone (adrenaline) we are blessed with that has enabled us to fight or flight throughout thousands of years to get to where we are today.

Unfortunately, we are overusing this stress response that was supposed to be used for survival purposes only as our everyday life experiences, such as traffic jams or frustrations at work spark a cascade of thoughts, emotions and chemical reactions that tell us we should tense up, breathe shallowly, have racing thoughts, and lose concentration. And even though we all know being stressed is a routine experience in our demanding lives, I’ve noticed that somehow being worried and anxious have also become part of the new and accepted normal as well.

In my psychotherapy, life coaching, and energy healing practice, I specialize (in part) in treating stress, worry, and anxiety so naturally I expect to spend my days teaching people the tools and making the shifts necessary to eradicate this unnecessary condition. In fact, it is a true blessing to witness the freedom they experience as they align with who they truly and end the suffering that stress, worry, and anxiety has caused in their lives.

But I’ve noticed the baseline of everyday anxiety has increased for the masses. If I think of the 15 closest people to me in life, I can easily give examples of how each one stresses, worries, or has anxiety that interferes with their happiness in life. Their levels of stress, worry, or anxiety (or what I call S.W.A) may not meet clinical proportions, but their lives would be greatly improved if they didn’t have to waste their precious life energy on the act of worrying, fretting, racing, pushing, ruminating, or generally feeling pressured or negative.

In other words, you no longer need to have a clinical diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder to lay awake at night with worry, think of the worst things that could happen, have inner dialogues battling your own ruminations and self doubt, race around like a chicken without a head, assume the worst about others or yourself, become overwhelmed by paperwork and to-do lists, not sit still until 10 pm, or avoid taking risks or feeling feelings because it could make you anxious. Or maybe the new normal is that many more people actually do meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Either one is not okay.

Stress, worry, and anxiety are SO normal that the word “stress” in an article headlines actually get’s a big yawn from readers because it’s not new or sexy enough. “Stress” as a topic is pretty boring because lots of people simply endure it as if it is an expected bi-product of life, i.e. that it’s a price one has to pay to get other good things they want, is a badge of honor about how busy or successful they are, or is just a cultural norm that gets modeled and repeated over and over.

So I’m thinking we need a big, ol’ revolution! Today I am inviting- even inciting- you to put your foot down about the stress, worry, and anxiety in your life and say no to the new norm. Become a cultural revolutionary on the leading edge and take these steps to be…not normal!

Here’s How To Just Say No To The New Normal:

 1) Get mad about stress, worry, and anxiety and declare that you will not live this precious life in a state of stress and fear-based emotions. What a waste! Then replace the mad feeling with love for yourself and commit to living in a more harmonious way with yourself and your world.

2) Get busy learning new ways to shift your current habits to new ones. S.W.A. is very treatable and curable. There are tools and shifts that truly work. This means get a therapist, coach, self-help book, or group that is committed to helping you reduce your stress response behaviors and increase your joy quotient.

3) Learn to meditate. Seriously, it’s time. You’ve wanted to learn for years or people have told you to, so wait no longer. Meditation isn’t just for new-agers anymore. Everybody who feels happier is doing it and it’s more accessible than ever:
CLICK HERE to get these free guided meditations.

4) Slow and steady wins the race. Make changes, like writing in a gratitude journal everyday or grounding yourself with a daily walk, with commitment, consistency, and patience, Over time, it will make a measurable difference.

5) Shoot for 90%- You are probably not going to eliminate all of your S.W.A. and some of it has VERY useful benefits, so let’s aim for only being in a state of stress only 10% of everyday. The rest of the day will be met with a different way of life and heart.

6) Remember two important messages: This is YOUR LIFE and LOVE IS THE ANSWER. Everything else is just filler.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

5 TIPS TO HELP ANXIOUS AND NEGATIVE TEENS

HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW ANXIOUS AND STRESSED ADOLESCENTS ARE THESE DAYS?

It seems like negative thinking, overwhelm, and even depression plagues many of our young people.

This can be very worrisome and frustrating for parents, teachers, and guidance counselors.  It often leaves them feeling helpless about what to do and confused about what is wrong.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE FLAGS:  ANXIETY AND NEGATIVITY ARE SIGNS OF IMBALANCE
There are many important reasons why young people are experiencing low moods and high stress. Anxiety and depression often feed each other because hopelessness leads to overwhelm, and worry creates more powerlessness.

These heavy feelings drive unhealthy coping methods like anger, withdrawing, self-harm, drug & alcohol use, procrastinating, acting out, or pretending like everything is okay while they collapse inside.

Even if the teens in your life aren’t suffering from mood issues, you may notice a lot of “negative thinking”.  They might have a “ho-hum” belief that life is out of their control and “just happens” to them. Or they may “negatively forecast” about what will go wrong in the future and see the “down side” of everything.   This way of thinking usually becomes habitual and automatic, and needs to be re-wired now before it becomes a  way of life.

WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP YOUNG PEOPLE DE-STRESS AND FEEL POSITIVE

1) MODEL POSITIVITY:  You’ve heard the expression “Be the change you wish to see in the world”.  If you would like to see more positive, powerful thinking in your teen, begin to embody this yourself.  Check your own negative thinking and anxiety:  do you worry, negatively project into the future, hold yourself or others back because of fear, lack confidence, or feel powerless in life?  Our young people are mirroring what they have learned from us…so get conscious of what you say and how you behave and SHOW them how to be more positive.

2) UNSCHEDULE: We often set up our lives in a way that creates stress-  over-scheduling and having too much to do makes it impossible to feel calm and centered.   Young people are learning that being overwhelmed is a normal way to function.  Being out of balance is bad for all of us-  and a child’s anxiety let’s adults know it’s time to make changes.  Even though you can’t eliminate everything in your schedule, make a commitment to dial back your commitments. Consider  making one night a week “family night” where you don’t have anything on the schedule except going for a bike ride or having dinner together.

Top 5 Tips Helping Teens Who are Anxious

3) CONSCIOUSLY CONNECT: If your family scatters to their electronic corners when you are together, it’s time to unplug for a purpose.  Will they object?  Yup.  Will you?  Probably, but that’s okay.  Teens are not going to ask you to connect with them and probably don’t think they need it.  But time together translates into a feeling of support and love.  Although we all need down time, but the intense amount of technology in our lives causes overstimulation and disconnect.  Plus, social media and negative news have many downsides. Help your child (and yourself) by carving out “technology-free” time.  Talk, take a walk, ride bikes, play a game, garden, eat without being in front of the TV, volunteer as a family, and did I mention TALK yet?

4) GET INTO NATURE:  There’s a reason why you actually feel better when you take a walk, especially if it’s in nature.  First, those natural anti-depressants get kicking.  Second, the chi of trees is so high that they literally will take the toxins from us and return clean energy to our beings.  If you want to feel better when stressed, go take a walk- in nature preferably.  Do this with your teens to show them how exercise and nature are a daily part of maintaining a positive mood.

5) ASK HOW YOU CAN HELP… AND ACTUALLY LISTEN: This might seems strange, but if you want to know how to help someone, ASK! Communicating is underused as a way to solve problems.  But it’s not just asking that helps-  it’s HOW we ask and HOW we listen.  So try this:  ask your teen “How would you like me to help you during this time? How can I support you?”  Then LISTEN to the answer, without defensiveness or needing to control their path. Just listen.  Your presence means more than your solutions.    And always validate by saying  “I am so sorry that happened to you. ”  Ask them if they would like your help to solve the problem or just want a listening ear. If they are ready for counseling, we can teach them the skills and tools for a lifetime of happiness.
BONUS TIP:
Kids need to learn how powerful they are.  We can teach them the practical tools and skills to consciously manifest their lives.  Have them start by making affirmations like “I am strong and can handle anything” or “Life flows easily”.  Making Vision Boards is a fun way to help them become powerful creators. Deep breathing and meditation are instant fixes for anxiety.

Don’t know how?  We can help!  The group below is a great way to start and we also have individual counseling for young people. Contact Beth Miller, LCSW, CEC, Positive Energy Counseling Center

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

HOW TO MANIFEST WITH THE SUPERMOON

The Supermoon is where The moon will be the closest it has been to the earth in almost 70 years and this won’t happen again for a long time. 

It should be pretty cool, the moon will seem HUUUGEEE, and will definitely pack even more of a punch on your life than typical full moons.  Heads up: moons influence water and you are made up of about 87% of the stuff. That said, you might notice that you are more emotional on Monday-  so stay away from conflict or charged situations to say the least.

 

Instead, use this ritual that I created to take advantage of the Supermoon and to harness it’s power.  Take the time to write out the answers to the below steps. Then, on Monday, once the moon is out, go outside and read each section beneath the moon.  This ritual will help you intentionally release what no longer serves you, and manifest what you now desire. 

 

HOW TO MANIFEST WITH THE SUPERMOON 

 Step 1:  THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

A grateful heart draws more to it to be grateful for. Write down the many things you are grateful for in your life.  Say to the moon “Thank you, thank you, thank you” for each one of these things.

 

Step 2: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I RELEASE:

Out with the old and in with the new. Write down all of the behaviors, experiences, traumas, beliefs, lack of forgiveness, negative emotions, things that are holding you back, addictions, etc that you are reading to let go of. Think of this as cleaning your house of clutter and garbage so that you can allow new stuff into your life. 

 

Step 3: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I MANIFEST:

Now it’s time to dream both big and small. Write down all of the things you want to bring into your life now.  What are the new beliefs, experiences, miracles, opportunities, people, items, or relationships you desire? Be specific, tangible, and clear. And then get ready to allow in what you ask for.

 

Step 4: WITH THIS SUPERMOON, I BLESS:

Use the power of the moon to send out positive energy. Write down all of the people you wish to bless, the situations you want to send peace to, the people that need help, the health issues that need healing.  Bless your friends and your “enemies”. You can even bless your bank account or unpaid student loan.  No harm in sending positive energy to all aspects of you life!

 

Step 5: THANK YOU

Give thanks once again for this opportunity and your relationship with the greater universe.

 

Step 6: CONNECT WITH YOUR SOUL

This may seem extra woo-woo-ish but I promise it works, so be willing to feel silly to get the results.

 Write down 5- 10 beliefs that you desire to be true about yourself (I.e. I am loved and loving, I am secure and confident, I am powerful, I am deeply happy, I am great at manifesting, I am a paid artist, I have a successful career, etc)

Go find a mirror and look yourself in the eyes and repeat these affirmations while looking into your own eyes.  Mind you, this will feel a little freaky.  You will start having an awareness that you are connecting to a very intense- and perhaps foreign part of you.  Basically, you are connecting deeply into your soul and this communication will then create change in your world. It’s like programming or harmonizing with the core part of you and bringing the truth of your soul to the earthly plane. 

FYI: It’s best to do this step everyday for maximum benefit.  I kid you not- this one works. I have seen people change dramatically from this mirror work alone.  Do it, even if it’s weird.

This Manifesting With The Supermoon ritual is totally worth doing.  Enjoy the view. It should be beautiful.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

 

STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN- My new advice column to be happy and peaceful, even when life is insane

 

Hey there!  I’ve got a new blog series that’s right up your alley:  

“STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN” is an advice column about how to be sane and happy despite all the insane stressors in your life.   I mean-let’s face it- the stuff that comes at you all day is bananas! It’s hard to stay centered when life- and fruit- threaten to knock you off your peaceful game.

But I know you- you’re just like me- and you want to be your best no matter what’s going on in your day.  You want to handle your kids with humor and patience, even when they are screaming or throwing food or ignoring you. You want to be optimistic and creative at work, even if you have impossible deadlines and a meany for a boss.  You want to be loving and fun with your partner, even when the grind or monotony of daily life threatens your satisfaction . You want to feel abundant and safe and awesome, even if it feels like the odds are sometimes  against you.

In a nutshell, you want to find ways to not trigger the worst autopilot reactions in you.

That’s right.  You’re goal is to be a shining beacon of love right in the middle of Your Own Crazytown…because you know that feeling good about your life is the only thing that matters.


Well, great news! There are some pretty cool tools and techniques to connect with your best self even when stuff gets tough, and STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN is going to share them with you.


So here’s the deal: this blog series will be written by you and me together. You guys are going to keep telling me what drives you crazy, what keeps you from being your best, and I will give you some awesome tools to get you back to center and restore your “happy”.  Many of you already tell me your challenges in blog comments, emails, and in private sessions with me. For the rest of you, send me your comments!


Recently, a reader named “Ann” emailed me a question and because a lot of my clients have the same problem as her, I made it my first STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN article.  She asked:

“Dear Beth, How can I stay centered and happy when my husband is being a jerk?


Maybe you can relate…..
It will be my next post, so be sure to check out the advice I gave her!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

WHAT “DEAD” PEOPLE TOLD ME THEY DO IN THE AFTERLIFE

I wasn’t always able to communicate with people who have “died”…

I developed this ability by honing in on my intuition and developing my psychic skills over time. Over the last few years, the  “deceased” loved ones of my clients have been showing up in session to give them messages loud and clear.  Predictably, they seem to know when my client’s are going through particular issues that they want to help with.  The ones who have crossed over will give the living clients exactly the messages and information they need to feel better, move forward, or know something important.

As you probably noticed, I use quotes when referring to people being “dead” because I don’t feel they have died at all.  Rather, as you will learn in this post, they are extremely alive and vibrant- but just in a different way.

One of the things I have always been most curious about is what people who have transitioned DO all day.  Like, what do they do with their time?  What’s it like there? How does time work?  Beyond my own curiosity, it turns out that my clients find the answers to these questions very relieving- knowledge seems to put their worries at ease.  So every time I get a chance to talk with someone who has crossed over, I ask them what they do all day and the coolest thing is that they actually tell me or show me. Let me give you an example:

When one of my regular clients, who had lost his brother years ago (in what we think of as a “tragic” way) came into session,  I felt his brother’s presence. Once I let my client know that his brother wanted to communicate with him, I relayed the messages that the deceased brother had.  Then we began a dialogue, where I asked some questions my client had for his brother.  “What do you do all day?” I asked.  And what he showed me was profound:  he was surfing on a never ending rainbow-colored wave of energy.  When I told my client this, he said “My brother was a windsurfer! He loved being in the water and surfing- it was his favorite thing to do!”   Once I told my client that his brother is spending his time in the afterlife surfing on a beautiful wave of energy all day, he was elated.

For all the years since his brother died, my client had been feeling badly that his brother’s life was cut short.  He was upset that his brother wasn’t able to live fully here on earth.  But meanwhile, his brother is literally having the time of his life, catching waves and hanging ten In the afterlife.


Now here’s the coolest part of this story:  in our session, the brother told my client to stop focusing on the life he didn’t get to live.  Instead, he asked him to celebrate the life he did live.  Why?  Because how we think of the “dead” affects them energetically.  If we focus on what they missed or didn’t have, we send them a lower energy.  If we focus on the beauty or lessons of their life, what they taught us, the love they shared or how they impacted the world, they are spiritually elevated.

That’s right.  I’m saying that the energy you feel about those who crossed over affects them and influences their spiritual development. I’m saying that if you celebrate your loved ones who “died” and honor their lives by focusing on what they taught you, their own enlightenment increases because their soul’s journey on earth had the intended positive impact.  And because I know this to be true, the brother instructed my client about what to do anytime he starts to feel badly about the tragic accident that happened years ago:  he said to honor him the best, grab hold of life like an adventurous surfer and have a blast riding the wave of life.

PS I’ll tell you another time what other people said they do with their time in the afterlife,  about how time works, and what they see around them.  Their answers were pretty awesome too!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

The Last Self Help Book You Will Ever Have To Read

Most of my clients and friends are seekers. 

They like new ideas, get turned on by the latest innovations, and search for the best ways to be happier, healthier, wealthier, skinnier, savvier. You get the idea  if it ends in -er, if it might make them better in ways that matter, they are going to look into it.

The chronic search for the best ways to attract abundance, balance checkbooks, heal from illness, flush fat, clean up sugar addictions, be positive, attain inner peace, parent wisely, love deeper In relationships, respond positively to infidelity, become more intuitive, or find passionate careers means one thing:  buying a whole lotta self-help books and perusing the internet for new ways to get more of the er they are after.

Most us will research the changes we want to make, find the latest and greatest approach to help us, and probably even buy the book or product that will guide us along the yellow brick road to the Oz of our desired outcomes.


Did you notice that I said buy, but not read or use?
YEAH…That wasn’t an accident.

Because  here’s the thing about  seekers, all of whom are  driven to grow and deeply desire to be their best:  most of those self help books are half-read and piling up on their night stands.  Maybe some of these partially consumed books are dog-eared and have a few notes written in them, but they are otherwise forgotten- having been replaced by a newer book with the cure-du jour.

That’s right seekers I’ve got your number.  I know you! And I’ve even been you- excitedly researching and launching into your latest purchase that promises to provide the answers, the path, to the happier or better self.  Go take a stroll through your self-help graveyard and notice the tombstones about mindfulness, thinking and growing rich, manifesting with intention, realizing your own power, healing your life, cleaning up your body, finding true love.  These  books and articles- the ones you already bought, the ones that promised to provide the changes you’ve wanted, but lay untapped and under committed to.  And it’s not that they can’t get you there-many or most of them are excellent guides. It’s that  you haven’t done the work in them.


Which leads me to the ultimate take-away of this post, the one action step that will change your life as a  seeker and your relationship with all the information you collect about how to truly be your best self: 


Actually do the work in one of those self help books.  That’s right. I’m asking you to pick ONE of those books you already own- and WORK it.  Don’t just read a few paragraphs when you are in the mood, don’t get half way through and move on to something else, don’t just leaf through the ideas without doing the action steps the book suggests.  No, do something different this time: make a commitment to yourself and to that book.

Though I’m not affiliated with one, I know that Twelve Step programs have a wise expression called “working the program” which means “don’t just understand your addiction intellectually, do the actual steps everyday to create huge and everlasting transformation.”   Recently, in a session with one of my clients who is very ill, I was guided to tell her that she needed to actually “work the program” , meaning USE all of the many spectacular tools and spiritual practices she is already knowledgable about.  In other words, stop hoarding more information and start using it in a deliberate, intentional, committed way if you truly want to heal and change.


I’ve never seen half-hearted effort create huge transformation.  Have you? 

So pick ONE self growth book- one that’s currently trending or is an old classic- and dive into it like it’s the last self help book you will every buy or need to read, like it’s got all the jewels of wisdom and answers embedded within it.  This time, don’t just skim the surface of a book you might learn from.  After all, when has treading water in the shallow-end ever gotten anyone olympic-size results?

If you take me up on this challenge, my guess is that you will experience enormous, magnificent shifts in your life just by buckling down and finally doing what you keep seeking.  Because I know you want more than to just chronically search for answers, you want to live and breathe the solutions.  And that’s why the best and last self help books you will ever have to read will be the ones you actually put into practice.

Share with me your comments and experiences along the way!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

GOT JUDGMENT OR ANGER? 2-Minute Tool To Get Zen In A Jiffy


Recently one of my clients came to session with a lot of anger.

She said he has been trying really hard to be more positive, but noticed she was just “repressing” a lot of her judgments and frustrations about other people. In other words, it’s not that she had stopped feeling negative emotions, she was just expressing it less.

I had to applaud her.  Not only was she trying to be more positive, but she also recognized that talking about her judgments and resents actually makes them grow bigger. Have you noticed how focusing on them feeds them just like logs on a fire?

Judgment and anger about others is a super-common issue for us humans.  Not everyone wants to learn how to rise above it, but those that do notice how depleted and exhausted these auto-pilot reactions make them.  As you probably know, the reactions we have to others is always an opportunity for us to grow.  In a weird twist, it’s almost like people are doing things specifically to activate the parts of us that need to develop emotionally and spiritually.  On a more cosmic level, it’s like they are sacrificing for us to grow. This is what makes  triggering people  our “calling” rise up and become more enlightened.

I’m not a practicing Buddhist, but I love many of their teachings and psychology. The Tibetan Buddhist tradition actually instructs all beginning students in a practice called Making Difficulties into a Path.  In other words, the teachers intentionally give the students tasks that will trigger their “stuff” so that they can work on it. In Jack Kornfield’s A Path With Heart, he quotes a Tibetan prayer that begins “Grant that I may be given appropriate difficulties and sufferings on this journey so that my heart may be truly awakened and my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled.”


Now, you may be like:
“Hey, Beth, I’m not really psyched about the idea of wishing and hoping for suffering
so that I can practice having more compassion!”

And I get it- that might seem a little extreme for your taste. No problem. So let’s scratch the actual wishing for annoying colleagues  and frustrating relatives.  But if you do experience undesired judgment and anger toward someone, like my client, we might as well learn how to enlighten it.

Here’s a great tool I came up with to transcend judgment, anger, and frustration with others. It’s simple, fast, and effective. All you need is a bit of practice.

2-MINUTE TOOL TO TRANSCEND JUDGMENT AND ANGER

  • NAME IT:   Become the observer of your feelings by naming them as they occur. Make the focus of your attention what is happening within you, instead of about them.  For example, when your friend starts to irritate you, take a breath and notice your insides.  In your mind, notice your physical sensations and feelings like this “I  notice that I am frustrated. I notice that my chest is tightening. I notice that I am thinking of his faults.”

  • RADICALLY ACCEPT IT:               We can’t change what we don’t genuinely accept about ourselves. This is the problem with repression- it isn’t authentic.  Tell  yourself “I radically accept that I am frustrated, judging,  having a hard time.  I love and accept myself.” This will prevent you from judging yourself when you judge others, doubling the problem.

  • ENLIGHTEN IT    :     It’s time to bring light to the situation by doing one of many things: begin to think of the other’s person’s strengths, pray for them, fill your heart with compassion for them, think of them as they were as a child, send the word “love” to them, fill your heart up with light, or breath 10 deep inhales.

  • EXPEL IT:         Now you can let it go with a deep breath that deflates your chest. Do this by taking in a deep breath and then exhaling forcefully, exhausting your solar plexus.  Empty your sternum area entirely of breath and the energy of this issue.  Say “I release this.”

Try it!- it’s really simple and it works.  Sure you may have to do it many times over- after all, you are building a weak muscle into a strong one.  But do this one time and you will feel so much better immediately, releasing the judgment and anger. Do this many times and you will notice that your anger and judgment actually happens less and less and less…..

PS If you want to share the content of my blog, please cite me and create a link to my website and blog.  It’s great to re-post me, but please link it to my site.  The internet- and your own manifesting- works best on a honor system, where we all have integrity.  Thanks a million!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

EFT To Open Energy, Release Blocks, Create Miracles


at Sunday Morning Enlightenment this week, we did EFT to open our hearts & release blocks… to let in happiness & MIRACLES.

Why? Because when out hearts are closed and we have blocks in our energy flow, and we can’t manifest the amazing things we want in our lives. Blocked energy or unhealed issues within us cause us to feel stuck or stagnant, angry or depressed, afraid to take the steps we need in our lives.

Release these blocks- and open the heart- and amazing things occur:  synchronicities happen, creative ideas pop, courage that was elusive somehow seems easy, issues that were roadblocks move out of the way.

EFT- or tapping- is an awesome tool to begin to clear out the meridians of stuck energy and allow the flow of movement to course through you once again.  We paired this with a meditation to open the heart and release issues that need to go.


Doing this energy healing technique once is great, but why stop there?

The more you use these healing tools, the more you will zoom ahead. and feel happy and peaceful as you do so.  Below you wil find all of the details about how to do them at home on your own.

HERE IS THE EFT SEQUENCE WE USED TO OPEN THE HEART AND ALLOW IN MIRACLES

Think of a block, or problem, in your life
Maybe it’s your fear to go forward with your career plan
Maybe it’s your challenges in a relationship
Maybe it’s anger about your past
Maybe it’s your hesitancy to be who you really are
Maybe it’s your food habits or your addiction
Maybe it’s your illness and how you feel about it
Maybe it’s your anger, impatience, lack of compassion, anger about what you lack
Maybe it’s your lack of forgiveness of a friend
Maybe it’s your frustration with your babysitter or your colleague

NOW WRITE DOWN THESE ANSWERS IN YOUR JOURNAL
What feelings it causes you, write the feeling down
Measure that feeling on a scale of  1(lowest) -10 (highest) , write it down
Where you feel this in your body

KARATE CHOP:
And say “Even though I have this block I completely love and accept myself”

TAP ON THESE POINTS WHile repeating the phrases below

Top of head
Third Eye
Beginning of eye brow bone
Side of eye behind temple on bone
Under eye
Under nose
Under lips
On collar bone, one inch to each side of the “U”
Center of chest- sternum
Under arm (i.e. where bra strap would be)

This block
This fear
This worry
This closed heart
This lack of forgiveness This block of creativity
This unwillingness
My closed heart
My afraid heart
My fearful heart
This problem

I can choose to open up
I can choose to begin to let go
I can choose to open my heart
I can choose to release this
I can choose to have my angels take this form me
I can choose to see love instead of fear
I can choose miracles
I believe in releasing
I welcome in healing
I can welcome in new idea

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, AND WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL
Measure your feelings again on scale 1-10
What physical sensations are you having?
Write down any thoughts

NOW TAP ON THE POINTS AGAIN WHILE REPEATING THESE PHRASES

Freedom comes to me
Open-ess is now
I am more open
I feel comfortable and at ease
I am relaxed about this issue
This issue is softer
Just a little bit easier
I feel a bit more comfortable
I am more open
My heart is more open
My heart is more open
New compassion and ease come to me now

I am free
My heart is open
My heart is wide open
A dam of energy has broken and love is rushing into my being
Power and capability fill me
I am infinite and powerful
I am peaceful and free
My heart is open
My energy is free
I love
I am loved
I am loving

TAKE A DEEP BREATH, AND WRITE IN YOUR JOURNAL
Now Measure your feelings again on scale 1-10
What physical sensations are you having
Write down any thoughts
Start at the beginning if you have not reduced your number to 1 or very close to it.

NOW WRITE A LETTER IN YOUR JOURNAL THAT STARTS LIKE THIS
“I am so happy now that I am free and moving.  My new life looks like this:

CONTINUE TO USE THIS EFT aND NOTICE THE CHANGES THAT OCCUR IN YOUR LIFE!
or CHECK OUT MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL THAT HAS TONS OF EFT VIDEOS

HEY THERE BLOGGERS! If you want to share the content of my blog, please cite me and create a link to my website and blog.  It’s great to re-post me, but please link it to my site.  The internet- and your own manifesting- works best on a honor system, where we all have integrity.  Thanks a million!

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

Super-Spiritual Fixes To Make Miracles Out Of Your Challenges

During our first SUNDAY MORNING ENLIGHTNEMENT workshop WE DISCUSSED WHY WE NEED A MODERN SPIRITUAL PRACTICE IN OUR MODERN WORLD.

Routinely connecting in with love simply yields all- over  better results in every areas of life.  And because the more we do this, the more traction we create,  frequent visits with our highest self will enable a more loving, successful, wise  automatic us.  A spiritual practice is called a practice for exactly that reason-  its just giving new methods that are love-based a whirl over and over again.  And without the rituals or habits of connecting in with this truth and wisdom, we can and will only regurgitate our patters and beliefs from the past. We asked “Autopilot or consciousness?  Autopilot will get you good results, consciousness the fabulousness  you really are seeking.

In the workshop we also remembered why enlightenment is a totally reasonable goal: because it simply means bringing the light and power of love to the darker parts of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Big life results occur any moment  we add in a small spiritual practices.  Enlightenment, thank goodness, happens any moment we choose light as the way.

I asked you to Answer The Call Of Your Highest Self. How?  By maximizing your talents and diving into your challenges. And its your spiritual practice that can help you do just that.

As we appreciate just how uniquely powerful your own special lives are, we realize we are constantly being called to rise and grow.  Your strengths, talents, the things you care about and light you up, are part of your “calling” in this world- they are your unique contribution, the way you are blessed and how you can bless others.  The question is: are you using them to your fullest?

Similarly, you challenges are also your “calling”- whatever is hard in your life, what stinks about you, what you struggle with, where you are blocked- is exactly your opportunity to use love and light to transcend.  What you suffer with is your welcome mat into a better life if you say YES, instead of hating your problems, resisting them, denying them.  When you enlighten these issues, you grow spiritually, and life becomes easier, more peaceful, more meaningful, and WAY MORE SUCCESSFUL.

Every single thing that is occurring in your world is an opportunity to become more united with the truth of your life-  you are made of love and light, you create best when you are linked with this love, you are magnificent beyond measure, and there is a flow that you can enter that will allow your life to be greater, grander, sweeter, richer in all ways.

join me in saying YES to it ALL-
the good, the bad, and the ugly…and we will create miracles.

TRANSCENDING OUR CHALLENGES WITH A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE

During the workshop I invited everyone to tell me their challenges, so that I could suggest at least one spiritual practice  to transcend it.  Some of you were so brave and you spoke up.  Thank goodness- your challenges represent all of ours-  as we have all struggled with similar issues. Here are some MORE ideas about what spiritual fixes can be used to transform impatience, a wild mind, and feeling unsure of what steps to take forward in a job or otherwise.


JANE’S CHALLENGE WITH IMPATIENCE. Jane asked how she could be more patient with her child. Because we are choosing to see her impatience as a gift, the goal is to apply a spiritual practice of love to it, which will cause it to transform.

I asked Jane what makes her impatient.  She said the “to-do list”.  I followed that up by a wondering if everything on the list really needs to get done, or if it is so full because she puts non-essential items on it.? Filling up space and time with constant stuff to do is often a habit. However, life  does truly require a lot of action steps.   I asked her to eliminate what is non-essential, and make sure joy and presence is on the list instead.

I also asked Jane to create a new narrative for herself, letting go of the well-rehearsed “oh my gosh I have sooo much to do “ mantra that most of us get embroiled in when we are overwhelmed.  I suggested that she instead start her day with the intention to “be” and “feel” how she actually desires.  For instance, after she wakes up say: “Good morning life, thank you bed, thank you warm home.  I am so grateful today for all of the patience and peace I feel today.  My child and I have a smooth, easy morning, I am efficient and present, we laugh and enjoy each other.  Thank you for such a beautiful day.”

Here are some other suggestions for Jane, and the rest of you, to have more patience and presence with someone in your life:

  • While meditating or when going to sleep, create a connection of pink light from your heart to your child, or another person.  Repeat words like “I love you.  I am present with you.  You are so loved.  All is well” as you send this light to this person. This will create harmonious energy between you and assure the other of your unconditional love. You can create this heart connection throughout the day as well.
  • Get your own energy right. Before interacting, decide how you will “be” with this other person.  Usually our mood is already decided before interacting, and the other person simply triggers the impatience and stress within us.  If you want to be calm and fun, decide “I am going to be calm and fun this afternoon” before dealing them.
  • When you have already become triggered by another person and are being impatient, remove yourself and decide to close your mouth until you have re-regulated your interior space.  Find peace before you interact again by breathing 10 times and repeat the word love in your mind.
  • When you have become triggered into impatience, look into the EYES of  the other person and ask yourself if you desire to cause them fear.  If not, repeat the words “love love love love love” in your mind until the crisis of impatience passes.  Thank the other our loud  for being your teacher.
  • Buy a bell, Tibetan singing bowl, or fun music CD. When things are getting stressed, ring the bell or press play on a song to “reset” the vibration.
  • Slow down.  Impatience thrives on a frenetic energy.  Slow down or sit still temporarily to actually get MORE done in a HAPPIER state of mind.
  • Forgive yourself.  Parenting and life can be super hard.  That’s why we need our spiritual practice.  Self care is essential, it enables patience to occur.

DEBBIE TOLD US HER CHALLENGE ABOUT WORK.   She wanted to know how to “work part-time but make a full-time salary”.  Because we are choosing to see her work issue as a gift, the goal is to apply a spiritual practice of love to it, which will cause it to transform.  I asked her to look at the list that she had just written of her “talents, strengths, and gifts.”  I suggested she start there-  that our gifts and interests are often the surest way to make a living using what we naturally love to do.  She was also  given journaling questions to help her begin to maximize her talents.

Here are even more suggestions that she- and you- can take to get clarity about the next step in your job or create a career filled with what you want:

  • Write a new vision statement describing your ideal job or way to spend your day. Read it daily. Make sure your thoughts and feelings are not focused on what you actually DON’T want.
  • Ask yourself what you would be doing with your time if you didn’t need money at all-  how would you contribute to the world, serve others, or use your talents if you didn’t need money? Ask yourself what does the world need?  (This question will often connect you to what you love doing the most….and then to the ways you can do it to earn money.)
  • Walk and give thanks:  everyday take a walk and repeat the words “Thank you so much for my amazing life’s work.  Thank you for my full time salary and my part time hours.  Thank you so much for the ideas, the courage, the capability to have such a perfect job.” After your walk, write the ideas down right away that came to you while you walked.
  • Read The Artists Way and do The Morning Pages every day.  This is a sure fire way to connect with ideas and creativity.
  • Love your fear.  There is a great chance you already know what you can do to move forward into a better career arrangement, but you are scared.  It’s ok-  this is perfect for your spiritual practice. “Thank you fear, I love you and I also trust the process of life, I trust myself, I trust the flow.”  When opportunities knock, say YES even if you’re scared. Remember that you life is short and your soul is big,-make the most of your time here!

RACHEL’S CHALLENGE WAS HER RELENTLESSLY BUSY MIND.  Because we are choosing to see her busy, non-present mind as a gift, the goal is to apply a spiritual practice of love to it, which will cause it to transform.  We will make her monkey mind her friend.  Rachel said that even while sitting in the workshop she couldn’t stop thinking about what she needed to do next. As a result, she was missing out on life, always living in the next moment, losing the sweetness of the now.  I suggested she use her body to pull her mind back into the moment.

Here is how to use this skill- to occupy the mind with the details of the present moment- so that you are “here now” and also some other suggestions to tame the wild monkey mind:

  • When your mind is not in the now, ask yourself and describe in detail
    -“What do I see  right now around me?, ” “What do I smell?” , “What do I feel?” “What can I taste?”  “What do I hear?”  This will align you with the moment, gently yanking your thoughts into the only time and space that matters.
  • Breathe to create a column of light:  When the mind is going crazy, your breath can become your focus instead. Breath is visceral, it is physical, it creates space and opens the body back up when it has become tightened by thought. It is also energetic, it aligns your center (your core) with its highest self.  Take a breath in and imagine it “straightening” you out, creating a column of light that reaches through your feet and also travels up through the crown of your head.  The column of breath/light connects you into the stable earth energy, aligns your body, and then connect with The Divine though your crown.  Keep breathing into this column of light within you.
  • Consider your thoughts your spiritual practice.  Love them and they will soften.  When you mind is active and you want it to quiet, tell it to do so.  Say: I love my thoughts, I love my thoughts.  Thoughts I love you and I ask you now to be focused on this moment.  I love this moment. I love this moment. Remind yourself that all is well in the present moment.  Repeat this over and over.

Tell me your challenges and I will email you with some ideas, or even make a blog post out of it- anonymously of course!
Wishing you peace in all ways, Beth

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.

What Gabby Bernstein’s Stilettos Taught Me At Hay House Conference

I recently attended the Hay House Writer’s workshop and had some pretty cool take-aways.  There were some big names in the world of self-help on stage, teaching us all about the craft of writing and how to broadcast our messages.  You know Gabrielle Bernstein?  May Cause Miracles and Spirit Junkie author? If not, you would like her.  She’s got just the right mix of rad and righteous, just the perfect spin on spiritual meets “what’s up girl?”

I had a funny thing happen to me the morning I was getting ready to get on the 6 am train from the suburbs to get to the Javitz Center by 8. I’ll admit I’m embarrassed about it, but I’m going to share it for all the right teaching reasons.  As usual, spirit helps me see something within myself  that perhaps is a gift for you, too.

So here was the situation:  I was getting dressed. It was dark in my room (I left the lights off so my husband could sleep while I got ready) and I was feeling around for my jewelry.  And as I was layering on my rings, earing, bracelets and putting on some red lipstick, I had this crazy, self-conscious thought.  I wondered/worried/considered “Will I fit in at the crunchy Hay House warm -and- feely symposium with all this bling on?”

I was shocked.  How could I be so shallow? Was I actually preoccupied with who or what I will fit in with?  I mean, I am confident and self-assured….uhhh, I guess unless it’s 4:30 am and I’m about to go to a conference where I hope something life-changing will happen for me.  And the weirdest, most bizarre part was that I actually had a thought about what Gabby Bernstein wore on the cover of her May Cause Miracles book jacket.  Casual. Not too showy.  Chill in white cotton and light makeup.

So I got dressed and yes, in case you are curious, I did wear all my jewelry and lipstick. As a matter of fact, I totally forgot about my pre-dawn mental foray into wondering what anyone would think of me.

And then I got to the event and about one third of the women were in high boots, skirts, funky jewelry, and all sorts of trendy items.  I thought:  “Oh, this tribe has gotten fashionable since I last  saw you all at Omega!”

And here’s the best part.  After a few fabulous speakers, Gabby was announced and you know what she comes out wearing?  Super tight white skinny jean leggings, a loose white tank top, and sky-high stilettos.  No joke. Did I mention the bright red lipstick?

She tells us that early on in her career (before it was one) she was having groups in her living room that were “Carrie Bradshaws that wanted to be Marianne Williamsons”.  In other words, pop-cultured style -devotees desperately seeking spiritual connection.

And I just laughed and laughed and laughed at myself in my seat in the audience.  I realized what my jewelry self-consciousness was all about.  Will I fit it?  Am I the type that can make an impact in my field?  Do I have the look, the style, the presentation of someone succeeding?  Do I look like an author- no, scratch that-  do I look like a self-help author?

I want to say thank you Gabby Bernstein.  Because you do not look like yester-years self-growth teachers.  You look like ONE of todays.  You have stilettos, and some have Birkenstocks, and some reject footwear all together. Some wear tight skinny jeans while others exclusively wear robes or white frocks.  Some shave their heads, some layer on the hair extensions  Because today’s contemporary spiritual teachers are as diverse as the Thank-God growing audience that loves, wants, and needs what “expanding consciousness” has to offer.

Thank you Gabby Bernstein for being yourself, for being authentic to YOU.  Because of the many, many important bits of wisdom  I got from your talk, one of the best was that being yourself is your most powerful stance in life.  And your shoes (of all things!) broadcasted this deeply spiritual message loud and clear.

Spirituality is no longer occurring only in ashrams or healing schools.  It’s at Niemen Marcus and Kohls, book clubs and reality tv, PTA meetings and even bars.  We are everywhere and we are spreading like an equal opportunity forest fire of love.  The  face of spiritually-informed world views is the same as it’s core message:  everyone is welcome here, and love is the light that unites us.  And I’m right there with you all, bracelets jangling all the way.

Take a moment now to ask yourself if you are being all-in authentic to who you are, in every way.  If not, perhaps it is costing you success or vibrancy or truth or clarity.  Like Gabby, you are  at your highest and best when you claim and broadcast the truest you to the world. It’s the most powerful version of you that there is. 

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.