How To Not Wimp Out On Your Life

I’m going to tell you a hard, sad truth.  Most people are not living up to their potential in life. 

They are taking the path of least resistance, hiding behind being too busy or tired,  or they have been lulled to sleep by the opium of mediocrity  floating in the suburban air.  With the greatest amount of love and respect I’m letting you know that many of the people you know are wimping out because they aren’t living up to everything they are meant to be.  My job today, in this quick blog post, is to make sure that you aren’t one of them.

First, let’s do a quick quiz to see if you are achieving your highest self and living up to your natural best.  Answer these questions with a Yes or No:

Do you feel proud and brave about your own accomplishments everyday?
Do you have the thought ” Man that was hard. And I did it! ” at least once a day?
Are you living up to your dreams, talents,  and the kind of person you imagined  you would be?
Would you describe your life as fun, exciting, or interesting? Do you laugh ALOT?
Are you making a meaningful contribution to the lives of others or the world?
If you were to write your own Eulogy right now, would you feel satisfied by everything you have accomplished so far? How would people describe you at your funeral?

If you answered  NO to any of these questions, then this post is for you. I’m going to ask you make a few changes that will turn your life up. Here we go:

We all need compassionate support when times are tough.  Really sweet friends, loving Moms, and validating therapists are a life staple. But make sure the people that are around you everyday serve as an incubator championing how capable, unique,, and downright cool you are.  Make friends with people who set the bar high, those who are changing the world or achieving awesome accomplishments themselves.  Surround yourself with a mastermind group of people who peer-pressure you into being your highest self and remind you that life is full of miracles where impossible things happen by people like you.   Hint:  Birds of a feather flock together. So If you want to be rich, hang out with rich people.  If you want to be smart, make friends with intelligent people. If you want to be super happy or uber athletic or incredibly successful- well, you get the idea.

It’s awesome to dream up cool ideas, but your goals need to actually exit fantasy land and materialize into reality. The inner wimp will generally tell you to think small, be regular, and will squash most of your future dreams with thoughts like “It will take too much work”, “It will be too hard”, or”There’s not enough time or money” to bring a worthy goal to life.  It’s time to pick at least one dream you have and take the first step to making it a real-life breathing reality. Seriously, it’s time to just do it already.

Most of you what you accomplish is just a simple mental game.  Navy Seals and Marines use a pretty cool tool to break out of the rut of automatic underachieving that’s called The Rule of 40.  Basically, this rule says that when you can’t take any more, when you are at your physical or emotional limit, you actually still have about 40% more capability in your reserve tank.  Jesse Itzler, marathon runner and author of Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet, tells hysterical and profound tales about how this Rule of 40 made him realize how much stronger he was by tapping into that reserve.  Picture using The Rule of 40 when you are getting impatient with your kids, losing steam during your ironman workout, about to abandon your low-carb diet, or you feel like avoiding what needs to be done.. NO your NOT done, NO you should NOT settle or give up. You are way stronger than you think and you have 40% left in your reserve tank so let’s go.

Author and spiritual teacher Echert Tolle writes in the Power of Now that we all have a “Pain Body” within us that holds our negative energy.  It’s the part of us that is attracted to unhappiness, anger, judgement, grief, emotional drama, and even illness. It’s also where our inner wimp lives.  I know your rational thinking brain probably believes that you want to be happy all the time, but your Pain Body tells a whole different story.

Don’t believe me? Just notice the next time you think a thought that makes you feel sad, rejected, angry, annoyed, overwhelmed or depressed.  Yup, that’s YOU thinking that thought that makes YOU feel bad.

That’s YOU thinking about how annoying your boss is, how unsupportive your spouse is, how unfair it is that you can’t lose weight. That’s YOU thinking how you are too tired for a tough workout, how bad your head hurts, how taxing your kids are, or how much you don’t want to make those cold calls at work.  And that’s you thinking how horrible it is to carry sheets of drywall for your new basement in 90 degree heat (Oh, wait, no, that was actually me thinking that last Sunday).

In other words, you are keeping our own WIMPY Pain Body alive by feeding it wimpy thoughts, telling yourself that you have reached your limit in some area of your life.

If there’s a Pain Body that holds your wimpy thoughts and all of your other negative emotions, then there is also a Badass Body that holds all of your incredibly adventurous and strong qualities.  And yes, we want you to feed the Badass Body with wild abandon.  How?  Stop thinking that things are “hard” and instead think thoughts like “Of course I can do this”, “Nothing can stop me”, “That pain is just fear leaving the body”, “If it’s hard it’s just what I need”, and “Strong is the new sexy.”  Other positive thoughts that will produce an exceptional life are “I’m ruthless about my own destiny” , “I’m a yes person”, “I do it because I can”, and “Let me just see what I can do”.



Recently, neurological research has finally supported what I always hypothesized to be true: the brains of resilient people look different than the brains of less resilient people.  In other words, from a bio-psycho-social perspective you probably inherited however “strong” you are, and these traits were then reinforced by your social environment. On top of that, I’ve noticed that people who are emotionally and mentally strong tend to be more physically strong and healthy.  The very good news here is that you can rewire the neuroplasticity of your brain and ditch your grandfather’s wimpy DNA by doing eventhing in this blog post.  You can become stronger, and pass tougher DNA onto your offspring.  And – no joke- there is simply no better gift to give kids than resiliency.

I don’t mind cursing when it empowers me so I’m a big fan of saying “F- You” to beliefs that stop me. Literally like “F-you fear” or “F-you annoying limitations”.   This makes me the master of my wimpy thoughts, rather than them running the show subconsciously.   But I  equally like saying “I love you” to my challenges. I repeat the words LOVE LOVE LOVE in my mind when I start to get angry. I tell myself to trust whenever things are “going wrong” in my life. I use the Buddhist Prayer of Loving Kindness to get through a really hard workout.  Try it! Focusing on loving thoughts infuses strength, and removes weakening fear, into whatever you are doing.

If you don’t feel sexy, strong, powerful, and elated I’m going to take a risk and say you are living a wimpy life.  If you feel bored or tired a lot, have given up on some of your coolest ideas because your too old, it’s too late, or you think you should just  sustain the life you created, you are selling yourself short.  If you know what needs to be done but you just aren’t taking the risk -or you are prioritizing someone else’s goals- it’s time to re-assess.   A wimpy life feels just like it sounds.

Feeling accomplished and alive is your birthright, and when you feed the badass within, you discover that you are a beast. And by beast I mean you are beautiful, bold, unstoppable, creative, and everything you were naturally meant to be.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at