5 Tricks To Get Off Your Butt and (Finally) Meditate

My sister had a teacher in third grade who tried to teach her students to meditate.  That was over 30 year ago and I still remember her little hands trying to imitate the “Om” hand posture while making fun of what she had learned.    Well, It turns out she that her hippy teacher was way ahead of her time.

Things have changed. Over the last 15 years, meditation has become mainstream, along with yoga, reiki, and very fibrous kale.  As the creator of Advanced Holistic Counseling tm, a  fresh modern therapy model that combines the best of Traditional Psychotherapy with the best Holistic Modalities and Alternative Tools, I am ecstatic that being still is finally being recognized for the physical, emotional, mental, and material transformations it creates.    I LOVE that people are realizing that mediation, mindfulness, and visualization can create feelings of peace, help to manifest abundance, and have even been scientifically demonstrated to change brain functioning in a research project with the Dali Lama.    But, even though meditation has gone mainstream, why aren’t most people actually doing it? 


“Even though meditation has gone mainstream,
why aren’t most people actually doing it?” 

So…Why Aren’t YOU Meditating?

If meditating is so darn good for you, why aren’t you doing it? (Note: If you are meditating on a daily basis, read on anyway because I’ve got tips for my yogi friends too).

Most of you aren’t getting down with your daily Om for two reasons: time and know-how. You don’t make the time for it in your busy lives and you don’t know what to do to maximize the results of sitting and “doing nothing”.

Let’s solve both right now.


1) Stop seeing this as a “have” to and realize it’s a “get to”. This is your one chance everyday to sit down, do nothing, and not feel guilty about it.  Start realizing it’s actually productive to “be still”.  Change your thinking to:  “Finally, I GET TO meditate!”  
2) Ritualize it. Get it into your routine the way you brush your teeth or make your bed. For example,  meditating after you eat your lunch everyday makes it a habit that you will remember. 
3) Plan it for when you need it. Plan your meditation for a time during the day when you are desperate for quiet or down time. What time of day are you wiped or need to recharge? Once you see how great it feels to relax you will be clamoring to get to your meditation everyday.
4) Just give yourself 10 minutes. Optimal meditations are 15-30 minutes but most people can commit to and will benefit from less. I even have a 7 minute “Immediate Peace Meditation” you can get by putting your email in here .
5) Make unused time feel good! Meditate during these unlikely times and you will easily fit it in your busy schedule: outside during your lunch break, on the train while commuting with itunes meditation music on, in your car while waiting for your child’s pre-k class to let out, when your friend is running late, in the middle of the night when you can’t go back to sleep, anytime you would normally watch a boring repeat on tv.

1) Take the pressure off. Meditation doesn’t have to be some big deal. If you are tired, use the time to just rest your eyes and BE. Allow yourself nod off or let your mind wander. Put music on to help soothe you. The goal is relaxation, especially when you are just learning.
2) Expect nothing and you will do it right. Most people feel like they have failed when they try to meditate because they simply can’t stop thinking. But asking your mind not to think is like expecting the ocean not to wave. Don’t expect yourself to be blissful and void of thought when first learning.
3) Use lavender. Get a small bottle of lavender oil from the local health food store and dab some of your wrists as you ready yourself to meditate. Inhale the smell deeply.
4) Let everything come and go. You will think of many things while sitting quietly. This is normal and fine. Every thought wants your attention like a demanding little child. Just notice each thought and let it pass like a cloud in the sky. Your thoughts will slow down over time.
5) Fill your mind with beauty. If your mind is busy, give it good things to think about: Imagine the wonderful summer you are going to enjoy, remember a lovely sunny day or a fun memory, envision something you want to create, imagine white divine healing light gently flowing over your head and whole body.


BONUS:  FILL YOURSELF WITH LIGHT. Sit down and think of 5 things you are grateful for. Imagine each item causing your heart to fill with more and more pink light. Once your heart is full, send this light out to fill the room you are sitting in and then send it to people you want to receive your love and healing.


“Making meditation hard defeats the whole purpose.
Start by giving yourself some quiet time everyday. Over time, you can add new bells & whistles to your practice…but first just build an enjoyable habit. “


Life is full of no’s and challenges. Why not just say yes to making meditating easy and yes to making some quiet time for yourself everyday? If you’re skeptical about your return on investment and whether your time will be worth it, consider one of my clients who was suffering from postpartum who felt overwhelmed when she was stuck in the house with a new baby during the winter. She told me she’s “not too into that kinda thing” because “it seems kinda weird.”     No problem, I said, but let’s just give it a whirl anyhoo because something needs to change, right?  So I sent her my 5 FREE guided audio meditations you can get by signing up here, hoping she would give it a try. I got a call from her the other day. Turns out she’s been giving herself the gift of being quiet…and it’s paying off enormously.



Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Sayville, Long Island, New York USA.  She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling to create transformational change in their clients.    Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling:  modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.   Now, Licensed Therapists can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute youtube channel.


Just Say No To The New Normal: 6 Steps To Start A Revolution Against Stress, Worry and Anxiety

If you’re anything like me, you might be getting alarmed at our new emotional normal these days. You know how everyone worries, talks about stress, and is anxious in one way or another? Now, we know that stress has always existed for humans – after all, it’s the very stress hormone (adrenaline) we are blessed with that has enabled us to fight or flight throughout thousands of years to get to where we are today.

Unfortunately, we are overusing this stress response that was supposed to be used for survival purposes only as our everyday life experiences, such as traffic jams or frustrations at work spark a cascade of thoughts, emotions and chemical reactions that tell us we should tense up, breathe shallowly, have racing thoughts, and lose concentration. And even though we all know being stressed is a routine experience in our demanding lives, I’ve noticed that somehow being worried and anxious have also become part of the new and accepted normal as well.

In my psychotherapy, life coaching, and energy healing practice, I specialize (in part) in treating stress, worry, and anxiety so naturally I expect to spend my days teaching people the tools and making the shifts necessary to eradicate this unnecessary condition. In fact, it is a true blessing to witness the freedom they experience as they align with who they truly and end the suffering that stress, worry, and anxiety has caused in their lives.

But I’ve noticed the baseline of everyday anxiety has increased for the masses. If I think of the 15 closest people to me in life, I can easily give examples of how each one stresses, worries, or has anxiety that interferes with their happiness in life. Their levels of stress, worry, or anxiety (or what I call S.W.A) may not meet clinical proportions, but their lives would be greatly improved if they didn’t have to waste their precious life energy on the act of worrying, fretting, racing, pushing, ruminating, or generally feeling pressured or negative.

In other words, you no longer need to have a clinical diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder to lay awake at night with worry, think of the worst things that could happen, have inner dialogues battling your own ruminations and self doubt, race around like a chicken without a head, assume the worst about others or yourself, become overwhelmed by paperwork and to-do lists, not sit still until 10 pm, or avoid taking risks or feeling feelings because it could make you anxious. Or maybe the new normal is that many more people actually do meet the criteria for a diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Either one is not okay.

Stress, worry, and anxiety are SO normal that the word “stress” in an article headlines actually get’s a big yawn from readers because it’s not new or sexy enough. “Stress” as a topic is pretty boring because lots of people simply endure it as if it is an expected bi-product of life, i.e. that it’s a price one has to pay to get other good things they want, is a badge of honor about how busy or successful they are, or is just a cultural norm that gets modeled and repeated over and over.

So I’m thinking we need a big, ol’ revolution! Today I am inviting- even inciting- you to put your foot down about the stress, worry, and anxiety in your life and say no to the new norm. Become a cultural revolutionary on the leading edge and take these steps to be…not normal!

Here’s How To Just Say No To The New Normal:

 1) Get mad about stress, worry, and anxiety and declare that you will not live this precious life in a state of stress and fear-based emotions. What a waste! Then replace the mad feeling with love for yourself and commit to living in a more harmonious way with yourself and your world.

2) Get busy learning new ways to shift your current habits to new ones. S.W.A. is very treatable and curable. There are tools and shifts that truly work. This means get a therapist, coach, self-help book, or group that is committed to helping you reduce your stress response behaviors and increase your joy quotient.

3) Learn to meditate. Seriously, it’s time. You’ve wanted to learn for years or people have told you to, so wait no longer. Meditation isn’t just for new-agers anymore. Everybody who feels happier is doing it and it’s more accessible than ever:
CLICK HERE to get these free guided meditations.

4) Slow and steady wins the race. Make changes, like writing in a gratitude journal everyday or grounding yourself with a daily walk, with commitment, consistency, and patience, Over time, it will make a measurable difference.

5) Shoot for 90%- You are probably not going to eliminate all of your S.W.A. and some of it has VERY useful benefits, so let’s aim for only being in a state of stress only 10% of everyday. The rest of the day will be met with a different way of life and heart.

6) Remember two important messages: This is YOUR LIFE and LOVE IS THE ANSWER. Everything else is just filler.

STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN- My new advice column to be happy and peaceful, even when life is insane

Hey there!  I’ve got a new blog series that’s right up your alley:  


“STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN” is an advice column about how to be sane and happy despite all the insane stressors in your life.   I mean-let’s face it- the stuff that comes at you all day is bananas! It’s hard to stay centered when life- and fruit- threaten to knock you off your peaceful game.

But I know you- you’re just like me- and you want to be your best no matter what’s going on in your day.  You want to handle your kids with humor and patience, even when they are screaming or throwing food or ignoring you. You want to be optimistic and creative at work, even if you have impossible deadlines and a meany for a boss.  You want to be loving and fun with your partner, even when the grind or monotony of daily life threatens your satisfaction . You want to feel abundant and safe and awesome, even if it feels like the odds are sometimes  against you.

In a nutshell, you want to find ways to not trigger the worst autopilot reactions in you.

That’s right.  You’re goal is to be a shining beacon of love right in the middle of Your Own Crazytown…because you know that feeling good about your life is the only thing that matters.

Well, great news! There are some pretty cool tools and techniques to connect with your best self even when stuff gets tough, and STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN is going to share them with you.

So here’s the deal: this blog series will be written by you and me together. You guys are going to keep telling me what drives you crazy, what keeps you from being your best, and I will give you some awesome tools to get you back to center and restore your “happy”.  Many of you already tell me your challenges in blog comments, emails, and in private sessions with me. For the rest of you, send me your comments!

Recently, a reader namedAnn” emailed me a question and because a lot of my clients have the same problem as her, I made it my first STAYING COOL IN CRAZYTOWN article.  She asked:

Dear Beth, How can I stay centered and happy when my husband is being a jerk?

Maybe you can relate…..
It will be my next post, so be sure to check out the advice I gave her!


Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !


GOT JUDGMENT OR ANGER? 2-Minute Tool To Get Zen In A Jiffy

Recently one of my clients came to session with a lot of anger.

She said he has been trying really hard to be more positive, but noticed she was just “repressing” a lot of her judgments and frustrations about other people. In other words, it’s not that she had stopped feeling negative emotions, she was just expressing it less.

I had to applaud her.  Not only was she trying to be more positive, but she also recognized that talking about her judgments and resents actually makes them grow bigger. Have you noticed how focusing on them feeds them just like logs on a fire?

Judgment and anger about others is a super-common issue for us humans.  Not everyone wants to learn how to rise above it, but those that do notice how depleted and exhausted these auto-pilot reactions make them.  As you probably know, the reactions we have to others is always an opportunity for us to grow.  In a weird twist, it’s almost like people are doing things specifically to activate the parts of us that need to develop emotionally and spiritually.  On a more cosmic level, it’s like they are sacrificing for us to grow. This is what makes  triggering people  our “calling” rise up and become more enlightened.

I’m not a practicing Buddhist, but I love many of their teachings and psychology. The Tibetan Buddhist tradition actually instructs all beginning students in a practice called Making Difficulties into a Path.  In other words, the teachers intentionally give the students tasks that will trigger their “stuff” so that they can work on it. In Jack Kornfield’s A Path With Heart, he quotes a Tibetan prayer that begins “Grant that I may be given appropriate difficulties and sufferings on this journey so that my heart may be truly awakened and my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled.”

Now, you may be like:
“Hey, Beth, I’m not really psyched about the idea of wishing and hoping for suffering
so that I can practice having more compassion!”

And I get it- that might seem a little extreme for your taste. No problem. So let’s scratch the actual wishing for annoying colleagues  and frustrating relatives.  But if you do experience undesired judgment and anger toward someone, like my client, we might as well learn how to enlighten it.

Here’s a great tool I came up with to transcend judgment, anger, and frustration with others. It’s simple, fast, and effective. All you need is a bit of practice.


  • NAME IT:   Become the observer of your feelings by naming them as they occur. Make the focus of your attention what is happening within you, instead of about them.  For example, when your friend starts to irritate you, take a breath and notice your insides.  In your mind, notice your physical sensations and feelings like this “I  notice that I am frustrated. I notice that my chest is tightening. I notice that I am thinking of his faults.”

    We can’t change what we don’t genuinely accept about ourselves. This is the problem with repression- it isn’t authentic.  Tell  yourself “I radically accept that I am frustrated, judging,  having a hard time.  I love and accept myself.” This will prevent you from judging yourself when you judge others, doubling the problem.

    It’s time to bring light to the situation by doing one of many things: begin to think of the other’s person’s strengths, pray for them, fill your heart with compassion for them, think of them as they were as a child, send the word “love” to them, fill your heart up with light, or breath 10 deep inhales.

    Now you can let it go with a deep breath that deflates your chest. Do this by taking in a deep breath and then exhaling forcefully, exhausting your solar plexus.  Empty your sternum area entirely of breath and the energy of this issue.  Say “I release this.”

Try it!- it’s really simple and it works.  Sure you may have to do it many times over- after all, you are building a weak muscle into a strong one.  But do this one time and you will feel so much better immediately, releasing the judgment and anger. Do this many times and you will notice that your anger and judgment actually happens less and less and less…..


PS If you want to share the content of my blog, please cite me and create a link to my website and blog.  It’s great to re-post me, but please link it to my site.  The internet- and your own manifesting- works best on a honor system, where we all have integrity.  Thanks a million!

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !






How To Tame The Horrible Thoughts That Wake You Up (or keep you from sleeping)

I recently had some great opportunities to learn what tools work best to help you fall back asleep. I was woken up in the middle of the night by ruminating, ugly, anxious thoughts and this tool did the trick. It also works if you are having trouble falling asleep because you worrying or thinking too much instead of sailing off to slumber-land.

So my scenario went like this: I was sleeping and was awoken by thoughts about an issue I had that day. I had gone to bed angry (always a bad idea!) over an unresolved issue that happened that day with a loved one. Images and thoughts about the challenge we had flooded my mind, which of course filled me with all of the associated unpleasant emotions. If I remember back, I think I was dreaming about the scenario and then woke up engaged in all of the judgement I had about them (for doing what they did) and me (for not being able to let it go). I was mad, and ashamed, and frustrated, and sad, and did I mention tired because I should have been sleeping instead of thinking and feeling?

So here is what I did and it worked like a charm. I started thinking this repetitive thought:

I love and accept (the other persons’s name), and I love and accept myself.” Every time I had a thought about the incident, I just said that mantra over and over in my mind. After a short while, I was able to drift back to sleep, thank goodness. And wouldn’t you know it? In the morning, I sent a kind and loving text to my loved one, and they sent me one right back. I’m betting I changed my energy about the situation with that mantra by pouring the love of acceptance all over it, and voila!: the situation smoothed itself out.

I gave this suggestion to a client of mine and here’s how it worked for her. She had been dieting and doing well but recently succumbed to a few alcoholic drinks, which lowered her resistance to junk food, and binged on several snacks before bed. In the middle of the night she woke up with terrible thoughts about all of the weight she had gained, the traction she had lost. She was filled with regret, shame, self judgment, and fear of weight gain. She immediately remembered the concept and mantras I had taught her and she began repeating in her own mind

“I love and accept myself. I release this to spirit. I AM 123 pounds.”

What she did here was to not only put love and acceptance on the situation, but she released the worry about it, and then CLAIMED the reality she still wanted to live (to be at her goal weight).

How did it work? Marvelously. She was able to fall back asleep after a few minutes and woke up feeling promising and optimistic. She accepted her human-ness and went about her day. Would you believe the binge didn’t affect her weight loss targets for the week at all? I sure do because I know that’s exactly how energy works. Did you know loving yourself helps with weight loss?

So here’s the trick: when you wake up in the middle of the night or can’t turn off the ruminations that are keeping you from falling asleep, flood your mind with a loving mantra. Make it something like “I love and accept myself”, “All is well and I sent light and love to everyone”, “My life is filled with beauty”, or “Love, love, love”.

Please Send me your experiences after you use this one- I just LOVE to hear about how these tools work for you!

If Life’s Only An Illusion, How Do You Choose The Right One?

You have probably heard of the concept that life is an “illusion” or just a “dream”. The idea sounds compelling and interesting, but it’s pretty hard to believe when your pain is so real right after you’ve burned your hand on the stove or found out your partner cheated on you. But if it’s true that life really is an illusion, how can we live the one that we like and love the most?

Spiritual philosophies like Buddhism, modern science’s Quantum Physics, and esoteric energy beliefs like Metaphysics all seem to tout the same idea– that our reality is subjective based on what we choose to observe around us. Don Miguel Ruiz, author of NY Times Best Seller The Four Agreements (a must read, by the way), helps us understand in simple terms how our lives are nothing but an independent illusion:

“In this world there are six billion artists. Every human is an artist, and everybody creates their own story and they live in those stories, but they don’t have the awareness that they create the story and that they live in the story that is only true for them…Our biggest art is the story that we create about ourselves, and in this world there are six billion artists…We create (a story) about ourselves, and we are its main character, and everybody that we know is just a secondary character because our world is a virtual reality that only exists in our mind.”

Indeed, the world that appears to us is a reflection of our internal qualities. If our internal qualities change from bad to good, from hatred to love, from exploitation to consideration, and participation and sharing, then we’ll see a different world. Not only will our relationships change, as if we were previously hateful and now we’re friends and we love each other. The world itself will seem different, everything around us, because it’s all a reflection of our internal qualities.

This description helps us see how each one of us are artists creating our own world and filling in the colors of reality that we see. We are the designers of the story we live and the interpreters of what we experience. Our reality is literally whatever story we choose to make of the experiences we are having. Our reality is literally what glasses we use to view our surroundings. Our reality is literally our own illusion.

Because we know that 10 people can watch the same event and have totally different descriptions of it, there is no ONE reality. The interpretation is entirely based on the observer and this gives the observer- YOU- an enormous amount of power.

Right now, take a moment to notice how you have been observing a challenge in your life. As the observer- the one who writes her own story about this challenge- what reality have your brought into existence? How are you choosing to interpret this challenge?

And just for a moment, unhinge yourself from the idea that there is only one way to view this issue and let it go. Now, instead, pick a different illusion. That’s right- choose how you WANT to experience and feel about this issue. See it your ideal way, not the way that causes you blocks and pain and is unsolvable. How would your absolute best self view this challenge? If you were unstoppable, resilient, powerful, happy, independent, and loving how would you observe and respond to this scenario? The answer to these questions give you the illusion you can choose to live instead of the one that you have been suffering with.

You can apply this to any area of your life. If all of life is an illusion, if there is no one concrete reality, but instead many interpretations of the same world, you can choose what illusion you want to live. You can observe what makes you happy or what makes you angry, you can notice the strengths of a situation or notice it’s challenges, you can focus on the gratitude or harp on the lack. Whatever you choose will inform the next part of the illusion.

It’s all your choice. And you will notice if you are choosing the “right” illusion for you personally based on how you want to feel. If you are feeling blessed, joyful, strong, or pleased, I would say you are choosing the right one.

If it’s all an illusion anyway, might as well choose one that makes you feel great!

Live By These 2 Three-Letter Words To Have A Pretty Rockin’ Life

No, I’m not talking about the most well-known of two-word mantras, although we certainly know that saying “thank you” all day will shape your life into a magnificent thing. Giving thanks for what you have AND for what you want to have (in advance) is a sure-fire way to live a life that is happy. After all, a grateful heart attracts more to it to be grateful for.

But this article is about two OTHER words that need your attention if you are going to make this year one of your best. Life can sometimes get a little routine, filled with repetative tasks like the circular flow of never-ending laundry, work tasks, cleaning up after a meal (only to make another to clean up after), driving to and fro jobs and after-school activities. Sometimes it seems like the routines that make us feel comfortable can backfire and actually drain the life out of life.

After a long winter (like the one we had here in the north east USA), your energy might need as much spring cleaning as your floors to bring some color back into it.

Take a moment right now to remember back to a time when you felt really alive and excited by life. How old were you? What were you doing at the time? Chances are that two little words were the reason you loved (and now miss) those time periods the most. These two words bring out the bold and beautiful in any moment and have the natural side-effects of laughter and smiling. What words could bring out the fountain of youth within each and every one of us? Simply put, they are “yes” and “fun”.

1) YES
Boy is it easy to say “no” in life. Just ask any kids you know- they hear it all the time!

As adults, we say no to life pretty frequently. Do I want to drive an hour to go out to dinner with my friends after I worked all day? No. Do I want to be intimate after losing sleep taking care of my sick children overnight? No, not really. Do I want to get off the couch and get ready so I can go dancing? Not so much. Do I want to take the long way home to enjoy the view? Not if I have million errands to get done.

But if we let every impulsive “NO” win, if we allow our first response to decide our fate, we are likely to have way too little fun.

See, as children and teens, saying Yes was our natural state. Yes, I want I ice cream before dinner! Yes, I want to play outside until it’s dark, skip my bath, and go another day dirty. Yes, I want to cut high school math and go to the beach with my friends instead! Yes, yes, yes!

The consequences were of little concern. Yes ruled the day. And even though our parents said No often, insisting that we do our homework before playing or not ride our bikes without helmets, Yes was our predominant inclination.

And that’s what made life feel good.

I think what happens, as we get older, is that we have so many darn responsibilities and goals that we say No to pleasure and play too frequently. We are working so hard that we actually become lazy about having fun. We say No to last minute plans with friends, No to spontaneously flirting with our partner, No to playing with our kids instead of just watching them play, No to loud music in the car, No to spending some of our hard earned money on adventure.

When I graduated college, my more spontaneous best friends proposed we go on a trip across country. Our one-month drive from east to west coast and back again was not well planned (all four of us slept in a 2 person tent almost every night), not particularly high-end (we drove and slept in our rented mini van), not well financed (we each had $1000 and no debit cards or cell phones), and mostly half-brained (on more than one occasion we were naive, duped, and almost in jeopardy).

It was the time of our lives. Mostly because we said Yes to experience, Yes to fun, Yes to “let’s see what’s next”, Yes to love and play. We said Yes to life.

2) FUN
This three letter word can be the compass that guides your life if you let it. There are two ways to do this: 1) Make fun a priority by setting an intention to have fun experiences and 2) transform any dull moment into a fun one with minor adjustments.

Setting The Intention To Have Fun
I tend to be a task-oriented person, always with a to-do list in my back pocket and a pen ready to add to it. This can be very non-fun for my loved ones, and for me. Thankfully, I add “have fun” onto the list so that my kids and I make space for lol activities.

Last year I had the most fun summer ever. This happened because I told myself in the prior winter and spring months that I was going to have an EXTREMELY fun summer, which I then acted upon by filling up our June, July, and August calendar months with tons of vacations, mini-trips, and activities. My philosophy was that if I penned it into the calendar, super events would be guaranteed and the weeks would be less likely to pass in a blur. I also know how a day can go by easily without really taking advantage of it or saying Yes to doing more than the have-tos. So my strategy was to make a lot of plans and seal the deal by committing to them. This way, we would have guaranteed fun and could opt to say yes to spontaneous plans along the way as well!

I didn’t want to end my summer and say “I can’t believe it’s over! We didn’t even do that much!” Rather, I was already envisioning myself telling people in September “I had my best summer ever!” And as I did, I also learned what I need to do to create a blueprint for fun: schedule and commit to plans in advance and get the heck out of the house. Why the latter? Because if I am home, I will get sidetracked by the never-ending tasks that hijack my day. It I want to have a lot of fun, I have to be out in the world where I can’t see my laundry pile, work calendar, or full dishwasher.

An easy place to start is to make a list of 12 things you would like to do that would feel really fun for you and get them on the calendar. Even if you picked only one to do per month, a more fun year would be guaranteed!

Making Non-Fun Things Fun
Organizing your world around the idea that life can be fun, no matter what you are doing, elevates the energy of any moment. But you have to say Yes to making fun your highest priority feeling.

It’s great to teach kids that you can make anything fun, and it’s a lesson each one of us usually needs a daily refresher course in. Again, having fun requires intention if you are not naturally fun all of the time . Putting music on when it’s clean up time, being goofy while making lunch, and having a contest to see who can brush their teeth the longest or find the most dust bunnies are all simple ideas that only require a fun-seeking parent.

If want my children to describe their childhood as fun, I know I have to allow it to be fun and inspire laughter and non-sense.

But you don’t need kids to make mini moments of fun. Let your hair down and whistle while you are taking care of the business of life. Make it a priority to belly laugh at least once a day. Be a little sillier that you usually allow. Turn the music on at the same volume you did when you were an exuberant teen. Text funny notes to friends and start a virtual giggle chain of messages.

What get’s in the way of allowing fun into even the most mediocre of tasks? “Rushing” or being stressed can make you a real fun murderer, decapitating smiley opportunities before they even get a chance to lighten your mood. If you’re not having fun, maybe it’s time to slow down just enough to let the light- and the love- into your day.

After all, without our 3-letter friends YES and FUN, there’s a whole lot of 4-letter words that will fill your day.

The Absolute #1 Trick To Stop Anxiety And Stress Immediately

If you have stress, worry, or (gulp) even anxiety attacks, you know how frustrating and exhausting it is. And even though you know you shouldn’t “sweat the small stuff” and that it’s a waste of time to worry about things, you keep doing it anyway. In fact, I’m sure you’ve noticed that everyone considers being stressed a new- and acceptable- normal. Yikes.

I’ve been helping people with anxiety (and it’s equally annoying cousins, stress and worry) for over 20 years  and I know how daunting it can feel to transform. When starting to work with me, my clients usually describe having few actual tools to use or relying on an age-old strategy of trying to push away or ignore their stress. As Dr. Phil might ask “How’s that working for you?” Usually the answer is not so good. You might be really surprised when I reveal the

#1 go-to trick that will seriously reduce your stress, worry, and anxiety because it will be the opposite of what you would imagine.

For example, if you feel an anxiety attack coming on, your instinct is to run from it, to push it away, to keep it form happening by fighting it. And if you feel stressed, your impulse is to try to move faster, bark orders, or do more  so that you can fix whatever is stressing you. But believe it or not, I am going to tell you that the best strategy you can use if you feel stress, worry, or anxiety coming on is to go into i.

“What?” , you say. “This lady is crazy herself and she’s a psychotherapist? She is recommending that, just as I am about to become frustrated by my day or descend into the hell of an anxiety attack, I should just let it happen?”

Well, no, not exactly. But that’s close. Let me explain.

My suggestion is called Radical Acceptance, a Buddhist technique that says if we accept what IS so wholeheartedly and completely, it will enable us to then change. See, the problem is that most of the time we don’t accept what is true in the moment and this makes us much less able to shift and transform because we haven’t totally grasped where we already are.  Running from what we fear causes stress. Being with it, making friends with it. tames it.

Radically Accept Stress? SeriouslyLet me give you a concrete example. So let’s say you have 7 deadlines for work all due within an hour, a big meeting later this afternoon, your starving, and you just got a run in your tights. Typical Monday morning stuff. Your habit would be to get really ramped up, try to do several things at once, maybe yell at- or cry to- the nearest person close by, and scramble to get it all done, probably spilling your coffee or slamming your finger in the car door along the way. Later at night you will beat yourself up for not doing a good enough job (even though you were great), for being a jerk (for being a little too assertive with your child/partner/employee), and for the bag of chips and glass of wine (actually 2) you just consumed to numb and reward yourself. Sound familiar?

How would using Radical Acceptance help this scenario? First, before you even go to work, start talking to yourself with total acceptance, like this: “This morning I have many things to accomplish. I accept that I have set up my day this way. I also know and accept that I will get done what I can. I accept that it may not all happen perfectly.” This will help to reduce the pre-work anxiety. Later, as you feel yourself getting stressed or tense during your morning, use Radical Acceptance by talking to yourself aloud like this: “I am starting to get stressed. I can feel my body tense and my mind race. I am feeling frustrated that I have so much to do. But I can only do one thing at a time. I am going to take a very deep breath into my belly and simply slow down enough to do one thing at a time. I am present.”

By describing to yourself aloud what is happening in your body, how you feel, and then what you are going to do to problem solve, you are Radically Accepting the situation. It will instantly calm you down and enable you to handle your situation with presence and grace, instead of panic and pressure.

“Acceptance” and “Anxiety Attacks”. Isn’t that, ummm, counterintuitive?  Not at all. In fact, Radical Acceptance is your immediate way out of hell if you are panicking. Let’s say you have had a few anxiety attacks over the last year. When they happen your heart beat races, you feel like there is an elephant sitting on your chest, your body shakes, your paranoid that people can tell you are freaking out on the inside, and you mind is foggy and preoccupied with wondering if you are about to die. One of the main problems with this experience is that it leaves you petrified of the next time it will happen again. Now you fear your next fear response, you have anxiety about having an anxiety attack. You worry that you are not in control of your own body, emotions, mind, or behavior and without that what do you have?

Here’s what to do: When you feel the symptoms of anxiety coming on, begin practicing Radical Acceptance. Describe aloud what is happening.

“My heart is starting to race and my mind is getting overwhelmed. I am sweating. I am beginning to have some simple anxiety. That’s all. I am feeling stressed by something and it is causing adrenaline in my body. That’s all it is. I will take deep breaths and sit still for a few minutes. This will help.” Yep- I’m telling you to go right into it. Don’t avoid it. Describe it and feel it and tell yourself that it is just stress. This will help you be okay with WHAT IS much and shift you into the solution. Breathing, sitting still, calming down.

Radical Acceptance 1-2-3-4-5

        1) Stop moving, slow down. Become present and aware of yourself.


        2) Describe what is happening, preferably aloud. I am having anxiety.


        3) Describe how you feel in your body. My heart is racing and I am sweating


        4) Describe your emotional feelings. I feel fear and worry.


      5) Now tell yourself this is only an excess of adrenaline in the body and can change quickly.

Now begin your belly breathing to reduce the adrenaline in your blood stream and repeat “I radically accept that I have too much adrenaline in my blood and this can get better very quickly.”

But Isn’t Acceptance Approval? Nah. Acceptance is just being in the NOW. We don’t approve of stress, we don’t want it, but since we have it we need to befriend it’s existence in order to work with it and change it. And if there is anything I’ve learned from helping both the people who have the garden variety of unhappy stress or those with intense anxiety, fighting what is only makes things worse.

Keep in mind that, like hot sauce, you can use Radical Acceptance on everything. It’s not just for stress, worry, and anxiety. Try it on your next problem and see what happens!

Beth Miller is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Sayville, Long Island, New York USA.  She has one foot firmly planted on the earth while the other is exploring the spiritual mysteries of energy.  She works with individuals in person and via telephone, teaches workshops and groups, and has a lively youtube channel in which she teaches tools to cure anxiety and get in the flow of life. She is the author of The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life), a program that delivers the most effective therapy treatment to the inbox of anyone and everyone who wants to radically change their stress, worry, and anxiety. In USA 631.327.0090

The 8 Ways to Trasform Worry For a Loved One Into Healing

When it comes to anxiety born out of helplessness, there is nothing like worrying about a loved one to put you over the edge. Even if you normally consider yourself to be a rational and emotionally even person, once someone you love is having trouble in life, your calm and cool self can be replaced by a ruminating, worried mess.

In my psychotherapy practice, I teach people all the tricks of the trade to radically change how they cope when their loved ones are suffering. When our family members, children, friends, or co workers suffer, have health issues or are dying, or are dealing with addictions or financial problems, we usually suffer with them. Sometimes we even suffer more. The helplessness mixed with compassion can be torture, and can even lead to a whole host of negative feelings and illnesses within us. When they are in a dark hole, too often we jump in with them instead of staying outside and throwing a rope in to them. And too often we don’t know how to accept their journey, and whether the rope we have thrown is right for them.

“8 WAYS TO TRANSFORM WORRY FOR OTHERS INTO POWERFUL HEALING AND HELPING” is an excerpt The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life). I created this therapy program to help anyone and everyone have access to the cure for anxiety which uses the best tools from psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality to create radical change. Use this excerpt below to help you to shift your approach to your loved one, to send only healing energy to them, and to keep yourself healthy and aligned at the same time.

1. Engage in “negative forecasting”: think of the worst things that could, might, or will happen to them
2. Think about how this scenario should not be, that is not fair
3. Think of each negative thing that might happen and how this will cause more negative things to happen
4. Feel sorry for them, pity them, sell them short, or otherwise dis-empower them of their true nature as a powerful being
5. Compare themselves to you and see their qualities as not as good as yours
6. Worry that you shouldn’t have good in your own life or keep yourself from joy because they are suffering
7. Try to control them, get them to do what you think they need to do to suffer less, feel less helpless by over-controlling
8. Believe that you know what is best for them and what would make them happy


1. Bring to mind all of the ways that this situation could work out. Fantasize & daydream about the situation going well

2. Pray for them by sending them white healing light to bathe them. Replace your worry thoughts by mentally sending them love and light every time worry arises in your mind and body. This gives you something useful and powerful to do when you feel helpless.

3. Accept that what is right now is right now, radically accept them as they are. Do not be focused on how they or their situation should be different in any way. Love them as they are. Feel the feelings that come with radical acceptance of what is. This frees you up to find easier, love-based solutions.

4. Honor their own power. Think of the times they have been powerful and wise. Honor the God within them, instead of thinking that just because you made some good choices that only you are righteous or good. Recognize that they are strong and resilient and that they might know more about their path than you. Lift them up with truth and not pity.

5. Allow yourself to live your own highest life. Do not squash any of the good, the happiness, in your own life because you feel they are suffering. They would not want that consciously for you. Remember you must be in your own highest alignment to help them best. Allow light into your life, live big, as it gives other people around you permission to do so as well.

6. Ask them how you can help and serve them in their journey to relieve their trials and tribulations. Remind them of their strengths, how you are grateful for them, what they do well. Serve to help them instead of controlling or feeling bad for them. Help them in the ways that honors your own boundaries and alignment with your own highest self.

7. Know that their life journey is theirs, and you are not the main player. Do not make their suffering about you. Allow them to own their own life, their choices. Remember that their life experiences have a purpose and the choices they make reflect their own soul growth, just as yours do.

8. Be grateful and Focus on The Strengths. Often things could be worse. Be grateful for the positive , count every blessing, and strength in the situation. Think of ways the situation could be worse. This helps to keep you focused on a positive energy of what is possible.

Beth Miller is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Sayville, Long Island, New York USA.  She has one foot firmly planted on the earth while the other is exploring the spiritual mysteries of energy.  She works with individuals in person and via telephone, teaches workshops and groups, and has a lively youtube channel in which she teaches tools to cure anxiety and get in the flow of life. She is the author of The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life), a program that delivers the most effective therapy treatment to the inbox of anyone and everyone who wants to radically change their stress, worry, and anxiety. In USA 631.327.0090

In Worrisome Times, Worry LESS (and you may be personally responsible for saving the world)

Call me PolyAnna or naive. Tell me to wake up and smell the coffee because “Everything is really bad” and it “Hasn’t hit rock bottom yet.” You won’t be the first and I can understand your skepticism. But at the end of the day, in the middle of the barrage of words like “crisis”, Isis, Ebola, interest rates (too low or too high), heroine problems, the flu, climate change, and every other ominous message pummeling my senses, I can still feel good. And I feel great about feeling good.

I am not being smug or trite, nor am I even close to the enlightenment Buddha and the Dali Lama enjoy. I have a family, I own a small business, and I have lots to lose. I am, however, one woman feeling her way through this life who has lots to gain. I try really, really hard to be my best, to accomplish my full potential, to live consciously, to love and be kind, and to master my own energy. In essence, I am sure I am a lot like you- I just want to be “happy”.

Sure these are worrisome times. If by worrisome we mean imperfect and a work in progress. Has life on the planet every been anything but perfectly imperfect? So I am choosing not to react to what people tell tell me should be making me feel afraid, mad, frustrated, worried, defeated, shocked….you know the drill when the media is fear-based, your elders are “realists”, and negativity has taken over around you. And I am not going to mistake worry for an action step, because too often people worry about situations that make them feel helpless as if it’s the same as doing something about it. After all, haven’t we been kind of taught that if we are worrying about something then at least we won’t get totally caught off guard when something does goes wrong?

So, no, I am not going to get caught up in the negative energetic spin around me. Instead, I am choosing to feel sane, curious, pleased, peaceful, powerful, joyful, and totally abundant. And I am encouraging my clients, group members, and you to do the same.

The key words here are choice and action. You do not have to jump on the fear bandwagon. And it takes such simple steps to get off and hitch a different ride. Consider these ideas below. In an unpredictable world, we need to be able to sleep at night, love our lives, and be a part of what works right. And I suspect that if each one of us does our part, the people not worrying will lead the world out of “crisis” and into an even better future.

1) GO ON A MEDIA FAST. Just like how you are what you eat when it comes to food, the same is true with information. Have you noticed yet that the more you “inform” yourself, the worse you feel in your body, thoughts, emotions, family, and work? Energy is energy and you are absorbing very negative energy through most media outlets. You wouldn’t allow your child to watch violent or depressing shows all day and expect her to be jovial and well adjusted would you? Cut off the toxic flow and make a deal with yourself to watch or read a limited amount of news per day, if any at all. Also, get curious about why the news always focuses on what is wrong in the world- it is a strange phenomena that we pay them to tell us about things that make us feel bad. Consider investing in positive magazines and radio stations.

2) GET YOURSELF CORRECT. Cutting off the media fumes doesn’t mean you have to become negligent of the world or go on an ignorant free-for-all. Focus on what you can control by getting your own life centered and correct. Patch up your vulnerabilities by living within your means and focusing on reducing personal debt. Take this time when political and economic processes are “correcting themselves” to clean up your own imbalances- in how you eat, improving the quality of your relationships, in your own emotional state. As Ghandi said “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, as in “what is happening in the world around us is a reflection of our own personal energy”. If we each get correct within ourselves, the “world” itself will be corrected because we are the world.

3) TAKE ACTION. If you find international affairs or local issues to be depressing or worrisome to you, that’s a great sign of your compassion, love, and feeling of connection to the world. But don’t waste that beautiful aspect about yourself on feeling badly. Instead, put it into action. The planet needs your input of energy and care to change. If you barricade yourself in a house full of worry, you are only matching the energy of the problems outside in the big bad world. Be the light, be the change, be the love that helps. What can little ol’ you do? Sign a petition, pray and send love to the problem, give money to a cause you care about, volunteer, meet with others who care and take action steps. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Worry does not help the world…only helping does.

4) BEHAVE ABUNDANTLY AND GIVE. The energetic universe loves giving and rewards the generous by helping them to feel good and often giving them even more material abundance. Give to the most needy in times of distress, hold doors open, smile often, make little pit stops to pet pounds and shelters with food donations, send a phone card to a stranger in the military. Then don’t be surprised when your own life- and wallet- seems to get fuller.

5) INDULGE IN DAILY LOVE AFFIRMATIONS. Be the I AM. You may be of the mindset that this is crazy talk that doesn’t work. Yet, since we get back in our own lives what we put out in emotions and thoughts, you might want to check what thoughts and feelings you have been repeating lately. The trick here is to calm your fear with statements that relax you and are positive: “All is well in my world. I am strong and resilient I am able to create good in my life and have gratitude for what is working. ” Yet, for those who really want to attract abundance and success, stretch your repeating mantras further: “I AM true success. I AM love and loving. I AM filled with happiness and security in all ways.” Meditate and breathe often.

6) ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE STRENGTHS. When thinking about ANYTHING, always start with noticing what works about it. Concerned about our legal system? First notice what’s good about it, and then take action steps to contribute to what isn’t working. Worried about terrorism? First notice all of the kindness in the world, the unity, and the ubiquitous safety in the planet. Then brainstorm and take action steps to help contribute to peace in the areas where it is lacking on the globe. Afraid about your own life situation? Step back and notice all that you have accomplished in your life and the amazing resourcefulness you have had when life kicked you in the teeth. Also, make a list of all that you do have and are grateful for. Even in “crisis” times, we are often the luckiest ones on the planet. Shifting focus to your blessings changes more than your mood, it changes what you attract.

Beth Miller is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Sayville, Long Island, New York USA.  She has one foot firmly planted on the earth while the other is exploring the spiritual mysteries of energy.  She works with individuals in person and via telephone, teaches workshops and groups, and has a lively youtube channel in which she teaches tools to cure anxiety and get in the flow of life. She is the author of The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life), a program that delivers the most effective therapy treatment to the inbox of anyone and everyone who wants to radically change their stress, worry, and anxiety. In USA 631.327.0090