The 8 Reasons You’re Not Getting What You Desire

Like most of us, you probably have moments when you get frustrated when you don’t get what you want.This can be especially true for those who are consciously trying to master their own energy and practice “The Law of Attraction”. Once you get a taste of the idea that you have the power to shape your own life, it’s hard not to have a temper tantrum when your manifestation capabilities seem lacking or inept. This article is meant to help you see how the process itself of achieving your desires is meant to serve (and not just irritate) you…if you harness it right.  Read on to learn more about how to co-create like the mini diety you are- and how to reduce your anxiety and frustration when it doesn’t seem to be “working”.

You might think you would love your life to be like the “I Dream of Genie” television show: how nice it would be to just think up something that you want, cross your arms, wiggle your nose, and poof: your desire appears before you- ready to driven by you, loved by you, lived in, worked at, eaten, flaunted, or spent in huge and worry-free amounts. “Yes”, you’re thinking, “I absolutely DO want to be like the genie! I want to be able to get what I want whenever I want it. Sign me up!”

But I’d like to challenge that….

Imagine life on this planet with 7 billion genies, each one ordering up the perfect cars, bodies, relationships, food, homes, careers, and the ideal amount of money. Whatever could be imagined or wanted would be accomplished without any effort or personal growth whatsoever.

Sounds good, right? On the plus side, the pros of being a genie are:
1) You get to wear flashy, diaphanous, loose clothing
2) You get to have whatever you want, whenever you want it without any thought or struggle.

On the other hand, maybe there is a positive side to learning how to co-create what you want, instead of just having all your desires appear automatically, without any effort. Here are the 8 Reasons Why You Are Not Getting What You Desire and the how to work with the delays that are actually serving your highest good:

We like to “have our hands in the clay”. To potters, who make art out of clay on a spinning wheel, the very act of having their hands in the clay is the ecstasy of the medium. The shaping and guiding of material into a bowl or sculpture and not just the finished project is the very reason for the process itself. Sometimes the clay collapses, other times they learn how to move their hands perfectly to make right shape comes to life. We all, like potters, like to be a part of shaping our life as it unfolds. We figure out what we want and how to get it by being a literal shaper of the process. We get to sit down at the wheel of life everyday, put our hands in the material, experiment with how we craft our creation, re-evaluate when it’s not coming out right, start over when necessary, and sometimes be surprised when we’ve made something we love even more than what we originally thought we wanted to create. Anyone can go to Target and just buy a bowl, but that’s not creating, that’s consuming. Try to love being a creator. It’s really the whole reason you are on the planet.

We need “The journey”. Picture this: your whole life you have wanted to go white water rafting and you finally plan your adventurous vacation. When you arrive by the rapids, you decide that instead of dropping your raft in at the top of the river and actually taking the ride downstream, you opt to just drag your boat to where the water ends and skip the actual adventure. How satisfying would it be to get to the end of the river without cruising the journey where you would have felt all of the exhilarating, scary, calm, beautiful, and wild parts? Even if you don’t dig water sports, the point here is clear:  we want and need the RIDE that is life, and we must appreciate the bumpy, frightening, and happy parts because they are intrinsic to the adventure. Just getting what we want without the trip would be mundane and boring.

We need learn what faith is and how to actually have it. Faith is “believing without seeing”, and having faith enables us to remember that we are not alone in the universe our lives, but are actually part of a big intelligent web of energy that we inter-relate with.

When you are not getting what you want immediately, your higher self is asking you to reverse the ol’ “seeing is believing” motto and accept what can be. When you are frustrated by life, tell yourself the “I AM” story, where you realize that you are a creative being with immense powers. Claim what you want and take the focus off what you don’t have. “I AM the highest ranking real estate agent in the NorthEast”, “I AM a loving parent with tons of patience”, “I AM $10,000 richer.”

We get the opportunity to continuously refine what we actually want as we go through the process of creating it. Imagine if you immediately got everything you thought or felt about, before you got a chance to be absolutely sure of who you are what you want. Remember that old slogan “Careful what you wish for because you just might get it”?

Oh, gosh, the strangers you would have harmed with your random judgments, the people you might have married, the interviews that crushed you when you didn’t get the jobs. Often, the space between ourselves and manifestation is a grace that gives us time and room to get clear about who we are, what we want and why. If there is something in your life that’s not coming to fruition, you might want to go back to the drawing board and make sure the specs of what you think you want are truly right.

We actually develop and learn the specific skills necessary to accomplish our dreams.  Achieving something you desire is less about the outcome on the outside, it’s more about the inner change. In other words, the material accomplishment is a natural bi-product of changing or growing within yourself. So let’s say you want the new book you wrote to be a best seller, what beliefs about yourself need to change within you? What skills do you need to launch a bestselling book? Are there marketing, PR, or business skills you need to develop for the next phase of your successful life? Make the inner changes to see the outer results.

We learn what is special about us, and where our individual talents and strengths are. If every genie could create the same things, there would be no differences between us.

Almost everyone seems to want to be a millionaire, but each person’s path to get there is vastly different and dependent upon their unique gifts. One person can become rich by managing hedgefunds, another by inventing a product, being a CEO, or running a factory. The desire to be rich, successful, or well known is the catalyst that drives people to expand upon and highlight their highest gifts and innate talents. Each one of us has a unique, important design that we can capitalize upon if we desire. If you aren’t getting an outer manifestation, it may be because you aren’t tapping into your highest, truest talents yet. It may be time to express your most authentic self to see those outer results.

Sometimes, when we don’t get what we want right away, we realize later how it served our highest good. Try to view the perceived delays in your process as blessings and opportunities. What is your highest self asking of you? In what ways to you need to grow, develop, refine, showcase your skills or get clear? Are you willing to take the ride and appreciate the journey? Remember you are a creator, meant to have your hands in the clay of life and shape what you experience. Don’t get frustrated with the outcomes- instead look for the information embedded in the ride and how it is all serving you.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at