5 Tricks To Get Off Your Butt and (Finally) Meditate

My sister had a teacher in third grade who tried to teach her students to meditate.  That was over 30 year ago and I still remember her little hands trying to imitate the “Om” hand posture while making fun of what she had learned.    Well, It turns out she that her hippy teacher was way ahead of her time.

Things have changed. Over the last 15 years, meditation has become mainstream, along with yoga, reiki, and very fibrous kale.  As the creator of Advanced Holistic Counseling tm, a  fresh modern therapy model that combines the best of Traditional Psychotherapy with the best Holistic Modalities and Alternative Tools, I am ecstatic that being still is finally being recognized for the physical, emotional, mental, and material transformations it creates.    I LOVE that people are realizing that mediation, mindfulness, and visualization can create feelings of peace, help to manifest abundance, and have even been scientifically demonstrated to change brain functioning in a research project with the Dali Lama.    But, even though meditation has gone mainstream, why aren’t most people actually doing it? 


“Even though meditation has gone mainstream,
why aren’t most people actually doing it?” 

So…Why Aren’t YOU Meditating?

If meditating is so darn good for you, why aren’t you doing it? (Note: If you are meditating on a daily basis, read on anyway because I’ve got tips for my yogi friends too).

Most of you aren’t getting down with your daily Om for two reasons: time and know-how. You don’t make the time for it in your busy lives and you don’t know what to do to maximize the results of sitting and “doing nothing”.

Let’s solve both right now.


1) Stop seeing this as a “have” to and realize it’s a “get to”. This is your one chance everyday to sit down, do nothing, and not feel guilty about it.  Start realizing it’s actually productive to “be still”.  Change your thinking to:  “Finally, I GET TO meditate!”  
2) Ritualize it. Get it into your routine the way you brush your teeth or make your bed. For example,  meditating after you eat your lunch everyday makes it a habit that you will remember. 
3) Plan it for when you need it. Plan your meditation for a time during the day when you are desperate for quiet or down time. What time of day are you wiped or need to recharge? Once you see how great it feels to relax you will be clamoring to get to your meditation everyday.
4) Just give yourself 10 minutes. Optimal meditations are 15-30 minutes but most people can commit to and will benefit from less. I even have a 7 minute “Immediate Peace Meditation” you can get by putting your email in here .
5) Make unused time feel good! Meditate during these unlikely times and you will easily fit it in your busy schedule: outside during your lunch break, on the train while commuting with itunes meditation music on, in your car while waiting for your child’s pre-k class to let out, when your friend is running late, in the middle of the night when you can’t go back to sleep, anytime you would normally watch a boring repeat on tv.

1) Take the pressure off. Meditation doesn’t have to be some big deal. If you are tired, use the time to just rest your eyes and BE. Allow yourself nod off or let your mind wander. Put music on to help soothe you. The goal is relaxation, especially when you are just learning.
2) Expect nothing and you will do it right. Most people feel like they have failed when they try to meditate because they simply can’t stop thinking. But asking your mind not to think is like expecting the ocean not to wave. Don’t expect yourself to be blissful and void of thought when first learning.
3) Use lavender. Get a small bottle of lavender oil from the local health food store and dab some of your wrists as you ready yourself to meditate. Inhale the smell deeply.
4) Let everything come and go. You will think of many things while sitting quietly. This is normal and fine. Every thought wants your attention like a demanding little child. Just notice each thought and let it pass like a cloud in the sky. Your thoughts will slow down over time.
5) Fill your mind with beauty. If your mind is busy, give it good things to think about: Imagine the wonderful summer you are going to enjoy, remember a lovely sunny day or a fun memory, envision something you want to create, imagine white divine healing light gently flowing over your head and whole body.


BONUS:  FILL YOURSELF WITH LIGHT. Sit down and think of 5 things you are grateful for. Imagine each item causing your heart to fill with more and more pink light. Once your heart is full, send this light out to fill the room you are sitting in and then send it to people you want to receive your love and healing.


“Making meditation hard defeats the whole purpose.
Start by giving yourself some quiet time everyday. Over time, you can add new bells & whistles to your practice…but first just build an enjoyable habit. “


Life is full of no’s and challenges. Why not just say yes to making meditating easy and yes to making some quiet time for yourself everyday? If you’re skeptical about your return on investment and whether your time will be worth it, consider one of my clients who was suffering from postpartum who felt overwhelmed when she was stuck in the house with a new baby during the winter. She told me she’s “not too into that kinda thing” because “it seems kinda weird.”     No problem, I said, but let’s just give it a whirl anyhoo because something needs to change, right?  So I sent her my 5 FREE guided audio meditations you can get by signing up here, hoping she would give it a try. I got a call from her the other day. Turns out she’s been giving herself the gift of being quiet…and it’s paying off enormously.



Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Sayville, Long Island, New York USA.  She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling to create transformational change in their clients.    Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling:  modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.   Now, Licensed Therapists can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute youtube channel.


GOT JUDGMENT OR ANGER? 2-Minute Tool To Get Zen In A Jiffy

Recently one of my clients came to session with a lot of anger.

She said he has been trying really hard to be more positive, but noticed she was just “repressing” a lot of her judgments and frustrations about other people. In other words, it’s not that she had stopped feeling negative emotions, she was just expressing it less.

I had to applaud her.  Not only was she trying to be more positive, but she also recognized that talking about her judgments and resents actually makes them grow bigger. Have you noticed how focusing on them feeds them just like logs on a fire?

Judgment and anger about others is a super-common issue for us humans.  Not everyone wants to learn how to rise above it, but those that do notice how depleted and exhausted these auto-pilot reactions make them.  As you probably know, the reactions we have to others is always an opportunity for us to grow.  In a weird twist, it’s almost like people are doing things specifically to activate the parts of us that need to develop emotionally and spiritually.  On a more cosmic level, it’s like they are sacrificing for us to grow. This is what makes  triggering people  our “calling” rise up and become more enlightened.

I’m not a practicing Buddhist, but I love many of their teachings and psychology. The Tibetan Buddhist tradition actually instructs all beginning students in a practice called Making Difficulties into a Path.  In other words, the teachers intentionally give the students tasks that will trigger their “stuff” so that they can work on it. In Jack Kornfield’s A Path With Heart, he quotes a Tibetan prayer that begins “Grant that I may be given appropriate difficulties and sufferings on this journey so that my heart may be truly awakened and my practice of liberation and universal compassion may be truly fulfilled.”

Now, you may be like:
“Hey, Beth, I’m not really psyched about the idea of wishing and hoping for suffering
so that I can practice having more compassion!”

And I get it- that might seem a little extreme for your taste. No problem. So let’s scratch the actual wishing for annoying colleagues  and frustrating relatives.  But if you do experience undesired judgment and anger toward someone, like my client, we might as well learn how to enlighten it.

Here’s a great tool I came up with to transcend judgment, anger, and frustration with others. It’s simple, fast, and effective. All you need is a bit of practice.


  • NAME IT:   Become the observer of your feelings by naming them as they occur. Make the focus of your attention what is happening within you, instead of about them.  For example, when your friend starts to irritate you, take a breath and notice your insides.  In your mind, notice your physical sensations and feelings like this “I  notice that I am frustrated. I notice that my chest is tightening. I notice that I am thinking of his faults.”

    We can’t change what we don’t genuinely accept about ourselves. This is the problem with repression- it isn’t authentic.  Tell  yourself “I radically accept that I am frustrated, judging,  having a hard time.  I love and accept myself.” This will prevent you from judging yourself when you judge others, doubling the problem.

    It’s time to bring light to the situation by doing one of many things: begin to think of the other’s person’s strengths, pray for them, fill your heart with compassion for them, think of them as they were as a child, send the word “love” to them, fill your heart up with light, or breath 10 deep inhales.

    Now you can let it go with a deep breath that deflates your chest. Do this by taking in a deep breath and then exhaling forcefully, exhausting your solar plexus.  Empty your sternum area entirely of breath and the energy of this issue.  Say “I release this.”

Try it!- it’s really simple and it works.  Sure you may have to do it many times over- after all, you are building a weak muscle into a strong one.  But do this one time and you will feel so much better immediately, releasing the judgment and anger. Do this many times and you will notice that your anger and judgment actually happens less and less and less…..


PS If you want to share the content of my blog, please cite me and create a link to my website and blog.  It’s great to re-post me, but please link it to my site.  The internet- and your own manifesting- works best on a honor system, where we all have integrity.  Thanks a million!

Beth Miller is the creator of Modern Intuitive Therapy, combing the very best of psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality.  She has a private practice in Sayville, New York and works with clients around the globe.  Beth hosts Positive Energy weekly groups and a Sunday Morning Enlightenment series.  Her youtube channel and blog are meant to teach and serve, sharing the best tools and skills to trust your soul, master your energy, and live your highest life. Beth’s The Soul Cure For Anxiety Online Therapy Course is a multi-media, 11-week alternative to attending therapy that teaches how to be calm, cool, and connected- no matter what is happening in life.  For FREE guided meditations join her at www.bethmillermeditations.com. Join the fun at www.facebook.com/supertherapywithbethmiller !






Live By These 2 Three-Letter Words To Have A Pretty Rockin’ Life

No, I’m not talking about the most well-known of two-word mantras, although we certainly know that saying “thank you” all day will shape your life into a magnificent thing. Giving thanks for what you have AND for what you want to have (in advance) is a sure-fire way to live a life that is happy. After all, a grateful heart attracts more to it to be grateful for.

But this article is about two OTHER words that need your attention if you are going to make this year one of your best. Life can sometimes get a little routine, filled with repetative tasks like the circular flow of never-ending laundry, work tasks, cleaning up after a meal (only to make another to clean up after), driving to and fro jobs and after-school activities. Sometimes it seems like the routines that make us feel comfortable can backfire and actually drain the life out of life.

After a long winter (like the one we had here in the north east USA), your energy might need as much spring cleaning as your floors to bring some color back into it.

Take a moment right now to remember back to a time when you felt really alive and excited by life. How old were you? What were you doing at the time? Chances are that two little words were the reason you loved (and now miss) those time periods the most. These two words bring out the bold and beautiful in any moment and have the natural side-effects of laughter and smiling. What words could bring out the fountain of youth within each and every one of us? Simply put, they are “yes” and “fun”.

1) YES
Boy is it easy to say “no” in life. Just ask any kids you know- they hear it all the time!

As adults, we say no to life pretty frequently. Do I want to drive an hour to go out to dinner with my friends after I worked all day? No. Do I want to be intimate after losing sleep taking care of my sick children overnight? No, not really. Do I want to get off the couch and get ready so I can go dancing? Not so much. Do I want to take the long way home to enjoy the view? Not if I have million errands to get done.

But if we let every impulsive “NO” win, if we allow our first response to decide our fate, we are likely to have way too little fun.

See, as children and teens, saying Yes was our natural state. Yes, I want I ice cream before dinner! Yes, I want to play outside until it’s dark, skip my bath, and go another day dirty. Yes, I want to cut high school math and go to the beach with my friends instead! Yes, yes, yes!

The consequences were of little concern. Yes ruled the day. And even though our parents said No often, insisting that we do our homework before playing or not ride our bikes without helmets, Yes was our predominant inclination.

And that’s what made life feel good.

I think what happens, as we get older, is that we have so many darn responsibilities and goals that we say No to pleasure and play too frequently. We are working so hard that we actually become lazy about having fun. We say No to last minute plans with friends, No to spontaneously flirting with our partner, No to playing with our kids instead of just watching them play, No to loud music in the car, No to spending some of our hard earned money on adventure.

When I graduated college, my more spontaneous best friends proposed we go on a trip across country. Our one-month drive from east to west coast and back again was not well planned (all four of us slept in a 2 person tent almost every night), not particularly high-end (we drove and slept in our rented mini van), not well financed (we each had $1000 and no debit cards or cell phones), and mostly half-brained (on more than one occasion we were naive, duped, and almost in jeopardy).

It was the time of our lives. Mostly because we said Yes to experience, Yes to fun, Yes to “let’s see what’s next”, Yes to love and play. We said Yes to life.

2) FUN
This three letter word can be the compass that guides your life if you let it. There are two ways to do this: 1) Make fun a priority by setting an intention to have fun experiences and 2) transform any dull moment into a fun one with minor adjustments.

Setting The Intention To Have Fun
I tend to be a task-oriented person, always with a to-do list in my back pocket and a pen ready to add to it. This can be very non-fun for my loved ones, and for me. Thankfully, I add “have fun” onto the list so that my kids and I make space for lol activities.

Last year I had the most fun summer ever. This happened because I told myself in the prior winter and spring months that I was going to have an EXTREMELY fun summer, which I then acted upon by filling up our June, July, and August calendar months with tons of vacations, mini-trips, and activities. My philosophy was that if I penned it into the calendar, super events would be guaranteed and the weeks would be less likely to pass in a blur. I also know how a day can go by easily without really taking advantage of it or saying Yes to doing more than the have-tos. So my strategy was to make a lot of plans and seal the deal by committing to them. This way, we would have guaranteed fun and could opt to say yes to spontaneous plans along the way as well!

I didn’t want to end my summer and say “I can’t believe it’s over! We didn’t even do that much!” Rather, I was already envisioning myself telling people in September “I had my best summer ever!” And as I did, I also learned what I need to do to create a blueprint for fun: schedule and commit to plans in advance and get the heck out of the house. Why the latter? Because if I am home, I will get sidetracked by the never-ending tasks that hijack my day. It I want to have a lot of fun, I have to be out in the world where I can’t see my laundry pile, work calendar, or full dishwasher.

An easy place to start is to make a list of 12 things you would like to do that would feel really fun for you and get them on the calendar. Even if you picked only one to do per month, a more fun year would be guaranteed!

Making Non-Fun Things Fun
Organizing your world around the idea that life can be fun, no matter what you are doing, elevates the energy of any moment. But you have to say Yes to making fun your highest priority feeling.

It’s great to teach kids that you can make anything fun, and it’s a lesson each one of us usually needs a daily refresher course in. Again, having fun requires intention if you are not naturally fun all of the time . Putting music on when it’s clean up time, being goofy while making lunch, and having a contest to see who can brush their teeth the longest or find the most dust bunnies are all simple ideas that only require a fun-seeking parent.

If want my children to describe their childhood as fun, I know I have to allow it to be fun and inspire laughter and non-sense.

But you don’t need kids to make mini moments of fun. Let your hair down and whistle while you are taking care of the business of life. Make it a priority to belly laugh at least once a day. Be a little sillier that you usually allow. Turn the music on at the same volume you did when you were an exuberant teen. Text funny notes to friends and start a virtual giggle chain of messages.

What get’s in the way of allowing fun into even the most mediocre of tasks? “Rushing” or being stressed can make you a real fun murderer, decapitating smiley opportunities before they even get a chance to lighten your mood. If you’re not having fun, maybe it’s time to slow down just enough to let the light- and the love- into your day.

After all, without our 3-letter friends YES and FUN, there’s a whole lot of 4-letter words that will fill your day.

The 8 Ways to Trasform Worry For a Loved One Into Healing

When it comes to anxiety born out of helplessness, there is nothing like worrying about a loved one to put you over the edge. Even if you normally consider yourself to be a rational and emotionally even person, once someone you love is having trouble in life, your calm and cool self can be replaced by a ruminating, worried mess.

In my psychotherapy practice, I teach people all the tricks of the trade to radically change how they cope when their loved ones are suffering. When our family members, children, friends, or co workers suffer, have health issues or are dying, or are dealing with addictions or financial problems, we usually suffer with them. Sometimes we even suffer more. The helplessness mixed with compassion can be torture, and can even lead to a whole host of negative feelings and illnesses within us. When they are in a dark hole, too often we jump in with them instead of staying outside and throwing a rope in to them. And too often we don’t know how to accept their journey, and whether the rope we have thrown is right for them.

“8 WAYS TO TRANSFORM WORRY FOR OTHERS INTO POWERFUL HEALING AND HELPING” is an excerpt The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life). I created this therapy program to help anyone and everyone have access to the cure for anxiety which uses the best tools from psychotherapy, life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality to create radical change. Use this excerpt below to help you to shift your approach to your loved one, to send only healing energy to them, and to keep yourself healthy and aligned at the same time.

1. Engage in “negative forecasting”: think of the worst things that could, might, or will happen to them
2. Think about how this scenario should not be, that is not fair
3. Think of each negative thing that might happen and how this will cause more negative things to happen
4. Feel sorry for them, pity them, sell them short, or otherwise dis-empower them of their true nature as a powerful being
5. Compare themselves to you and see their qualities as not as good as yours
6. Worry that you shouldn’t have good in your own life or keep yourself from joy because they are suffering
7. Try to control them, get them to do what you think they need to do to suffer less, feel less helpless by over-controlling
8. Believe that you know what is best for them and what would make them happy


1. Bring to mind all of the ways that this situation could work out. Fantasize & daydream about the situation going well

2. Pray for them by sending them white healing light to bathe them. Replace your worry thoughts by mentally sending them love and light every time worry arises in your mind and body. This gives you something useful and powerful to do when you feel helpless.

3. Accept that what is right now is right now, radically accept them as they are. Do not be focused on how they or their situation should be different in any way. Love them as they are. Feel the feelings that come with radical acceptance of what is. This frees you up to find easier, love-based solutions.

4. Honor their own power. Think of the times they have been powerful and wise. Honor the God within them, instead of thinking that just because you made some good choices that only you are righteous or good. Recognize that they are strong and resilient and that they might know more about their path than you. Lift them up with truth and not pity.

5. Allow yourself to live your own highest life. Do not squash any of the good, the happiness, in your own life because you feel they are suffering. They would not want that consciously for you. Remember you must be in your own highest alignment to help them best. Allow light into your life, live big, as it gives other people around you permission to do so as well.

6. Ask them how you can help and serve them in their journey to relieve their trials and tribulations. Remind them of their strengths, how you are grateful for them, what they do well. Serve to help them instead of controlling or feeling bad for them. Help them in the ways that honors your own boundaries and alignment with your own highest self.

7. Know that their life journey is theirs, and you are not the main player. Do not make their suffering about you. Allow them to own their own life, their choices. Remember that their life experiences have a purpose and the choices they make reflect their own soul growth, just as yours do.

8. Be grateful and Focus on The Strengths. Often things could be worse. Be grateful for the positive , count every blessing, and strength in the situation. Think of ways the situation could be worse. This helps to keep you focused on a positive energy of what is possible.

Beth Miller is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Sayville, Long Island, New York USA.  She has one foot firmly planted on the earth while the other is exploring the spiritual mysteries of energy.  She works with individuals in person and via telephone, teaches workshops and groups, and has a lively youtube channel in which she teaches tools to cure anxiety and get in the flow of life. She is the author of The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life), a program that delivers the most effective therapy treatment to the inbox of anyone and everyone who wants to radically change their stress, worry, and anxiety. In USA 631.327.0090