Feeling good is all about focus. When you feel stressed, worried, anxious, disappointed, low, disheartened, or any variation of “bad”, it’s pretty easy to get sucked into the rabbit hole and not know how to get out. The problem is that you mind has gotten focused on stuff that makes you feel bad and you have forgotten that there are other things you could put your focus on.
The number of items we have available to focus are (possibly) infinite. Every moment is like being at a huge outdoor flea market that spans for miles that has thousands of vendors, each with hundreds of items at their table. There is so much to see, so many things to pick up and turn over, things to consider buying and others to be dismissed.
When you are feeling happy, you have found items at the flea market of life that you like. You have wandered around and found a table that has the perfect little trinkets that make your heart sing and feed your senses. You ignored the tables with rubbish or old parts that didn’t appeal to you and for this you were rewarded with the bliss of having found just the thing you were looking for. You were selective. You did not go up to the tables with rubbish and think “This place has nothing but garbage for sale. This flea market is a waste of time. What a terrible day.” Instead, you stayed focused and wide eyed, keeping your intention on what you wanted and passing the items that that were ugly or broken.
Recently I was talking to a friend who felt she over indulged during the holidays. She was feeling low about all of the food and wine she consumed, and felt like it would be an uphill battle to undo the weight gain and bloating she incurred. I told her my number #1 trick for feeling happy and being able to make change easily:
KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE STRENGTHS OF ANY SITUATION.
I asked her: what good things have you done for your body over this time, even though you indulged in more food and wine than usual. She had a quick reply: “I drank my green shake every morning, I went to the gym most days, I ran around with the kids outdoors.” And, I asked, what good things happened over the holiday? “Oh, we had such a great time, we saw so many friends. It was our best holiday ever.”
I asked her to check in and see how she was feeling to which she replied “I actually feel much better! I feel like I DID do a lot of great things for my body and I feel like I had such a wonderful time over the holiday that it was perfect. I feel like I can get back on board really easily.”
She felt great and nothing at all had changed except her focus. She was counting the strengths in her situation instead of the deficits, focusing on everything she did well or good instead of where she wasn’t perfect. This not only changed the energy she has and how she feels about herself, but also made her more enthusiastic about being able to recover from the holidays and advance easily!
The number of items there are to think about are enormous. Our focus can be on war, flavors of iced tea, styles of cars made in 1969, the people who make us laugh, the most annoying aspects of our boss, the best book we every read, the worst betrayal of our lives, everything that’s wrong with our partner, our favorite birthday party, what to make for dinner, or who to send love energy to. They are all equal options, all for show at the flea market, ready for us to pay attention to and take them home. We have the choice about what items to bring into focus and what items to pass by, moving on to what fills our need. If we choose to always focus on the strengths of any situation, we are bound to veer towards the thoughts that will support us, encourage us, celebrate us, and inspire to keep becoming even stronger.
Beth Miller is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, and spiritual counselor in Bayport, Long Island, New York USA. She has one foot firmly planted on the earth while the other is exploring the spiritual mysteries of energy. She works with individuals in person and via telephone, teaches workshops and groups, and has a lively YouTube channel in which she teaches tools to cure anxiety and get in the flow of life. She is the author of The Soul Cure For Anxiety: The Ultimate Modern Therapy To Be Calm, Cool, and Connected (no matter what happens in life), a program that delivers the most effective therapy treatment to the inbox of anyone and everyone who wants to radically change their stress, worry, and anxiety.
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