Waiting To Feel Happier… Will You Ever Arrive?

It’s pretty common to have a Conditional Relationship with happiness.
And this may be one of the main reasons people aren’t feeling nearly as happy as they could be.

This Conditional Relationship with happiness is delaying the happiness you could be feeling right now. Why? Because it requires that the “conditions” in our your outer world be ideal in order to feel happier in your inner world. In other words, things have to be “just so” or “perfect”, or all challenges have to be eliminated, for you to be happy.

Here’s the problem with delaying happiness until life gets better: we will never arrive at the ideal life, which means we will never feel truly happy.

Never ever ever.

If you’re wondering if you have a Conditional Relationship with happiness, check out these statements below and see if you ever find yourself thinking this way:

  • Once I get through this project, I can finally feel less stressed
  • Once I get this lab results back, I can take a breath
  • Once I go on vacation, I can finally relax
  • Once I find a partner, I will be settled and happy
  • Once I the baby is born, I will finally feel at ease


There are several challenges with delaying happiness this way:
1) When life does become ideal, it won’t stay that way for long. Which means you will become unhappy again.
2) You will waste a lot of your life being unhappy, instead of enjoying life as it is now.
3) You will be try to control your outer world so that your inner world can feel better.
4) You will become exhausted and disillusioned by life, wondering why you can’t feel happy or why life wont’ cooperate so that you can feel happy.

Instead of this Conditional Relationship, the goal is to be able to feel more content even on days when there are difficult things happening in our lives. We need to be able to access higher mood states in all of life’s circumstances: positive, negative, and neutral.

Life is vastly imperfect.
In fact, imperfection is built into life and it defines life itself.
Imperfection is not the exception to the rule— it IS the rule.
If we wait for perfection, we will delay happiness until we are not longer living.

Beth Miller, LCSW-R, CEC, CAHC is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Life Coach, energy healer, meditation teacher, and spiritual counselor in private practice in Bayport, Long Island, New York, USA. She is the owner of the group practice POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute where she and her fabulous team of therapists use the breakthrough model Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™ to create transformational change in their clients. Beth is the creator of the trademarked Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™: Modern therapy that combines the very best of traditional psychotherapy with life coaching, energy healing, science, and spirituality. Now, Licensed Therapists, Healers, and Coaches can learn how to experience huge transformation in themselves, their clients, and their careers by becoming Certified in Advanced Holistic Counseling & Coaching™.  For free holistic and psychotherapy tools, visit the POSITIVE ENERGY Holistic Counseling & Institute YouTube channel, or contact us directly via phone at 631-533-0708 or email at info@positivecounselingli.com.