When To Give Up On A Dream

So you’ve had this dream or goal for a while, but are considering letting it go. Maybe it’s become too hard to achieve, doesn’t fit into your life anymore, or the results your getting from your efforts feel lack-luster. But your dreams are what make you you, and without them there is a possibility of a much less exciting life and ignoring the call of your soul. If you are considering giving up on your goal or turning your back on a dream you’ve had, read this first to be sure there isn’t another path to take.


You Aren’t Getting Results
Not getting the results you planned on- in the time you imagine- can be super frustrating. There’s a few exhausting components here: you have decided on the results that will make you happy and the time frame they need to happen in to make you happy. When they don’t, unhappiness (disatisfaction, disappointment, defeat) creep in.

You Are Drained:  You have been investing in your project with all your might- you give it your extra time, your energy, and siphon off dough from your bank account to fund it. Yet, it’s not giving back in the way you desire and so it feels like a one-way relationship. Your tired, especially because most goal achievement doesn’t happen in a bubble and you’ve been giving to it while also maintaining every the other area of your current life.

Nay-Sayers Abound: You have so many “realists” around you who remind you of “how hard it is to make it at _______” and you can’t help but feel slowly eroded by their voices, especially because they speak to your secret fears.

The Old Dream Doesn’t Fit With Your New Life : The super-fun ideas that charged your 20’s are having trouble fitting into your 30’s goals or 40’s lifestyle or 50’s responsibilities. Your dream of being a world-renowned artist at 23 downgraded to locally-known by 33 and at 43 you don’t even sketch a picture because you are “too busy”.

CUT YOUR LOSSES OR KEEP ON FIGHTING? Its a terrible mental and emotional debate, and can feel like an un-win-able game of ping-pong. The key question is this: why did you get involved in this pursuit to begin with? What about this idea lit your pants on fire and made you take all the steps you have taken so far? In essence,

What makes you passionate about your dream? And if you took out all the challenges and work, does that passion remain?

Your level of current passion, not 10-years ago passion, is tantamount because that is the energy you are creating from and with. Your immediate level of inspiration and interest in your dream is directly informing the results you get. The less passion, the less pure, sweet results.

WHAT TO DO Before you let go of what you have worked so hard for, consider doing these things first:

Take A Break: If you are suffering from low-inspirational energy, simply take a break for a while. Maintain the fundamental workings of the success you have already created, and otherwise just step back for a bit. Often, you will become rejuvinated once again in surprising ways- you’lle read an article about someone who is achieving YOUR dream, get feedback about your good work from someone, the season will changes and somehow lift the fog that was draining you, and voila! you will be back in the game.

Raise Your Energy: You want any and all efforts you make towards your goal to get maximum results. To do this, only work at your dreams when you are feeling high energy so that your efforts are infused with your positive momentum. To consciously raise your energy: decide to have a lot of fun (make a “fun” list and do one really lively, adventurous thing a week), knock other things off your to-do list (you will feel inspired and charged-up when you get looming items that drain you “off your plate”), exercise and meditate with visualizations.

Bring On The Brainstorm: Your ideas and perspective may have gotten a little stale or unmarketable over time and that may be killing your success mojo. Ask a friend or two to join you for a brainstorming session to think up new ways to add umph to your goal achievement and to tweak ideas in ways that may make a huge difference. You will be amazed at how valuable putting heads together with others is. Check your ego at the door to get the most out if it. Surround yourself with other achievers who love success! Joining a business development or Mastermind group can be priceless.

Hire A Professional: Lots of time we try to achieve our dreams on a shoestring budget and in a bubble. But big success- like that empire you want to build or that best selling book you’ve written in your mind) often needs the help of many and money. Is it time to hire a business coach, get a PR specialist, or a manager? Do you need professional help to upgrade, gain expertise, and learn the right “next” moves beyond your free blog-space and low-cost website?

Call On The Universe, Silly! Don’t be bashful. You need all the help you can get- and using your ability to attract circumstances to help you is tantamount. Visualize your success daily, tell everyone you know about your intended goal (stop keeping it to yourself to keep yourself “safe”), and create a major mantra (“I am a best-selling author!”, “My band sells out our venues”, “I run one marathon a year”, “Success comes easy to me. People love my product/book/ideas/services.” You’ve got to own it and claim this reality as yours. This creates results.

Put Your Big-Goal-Achiever Panties On: If you want to be a dream achiever, you can’t behave like someone who gives up. You have to tap into that part of you that is resilient, strong, and determined. Standing out at something only happens by actually standing out, and this means taking action steps and having dedication that the majority of people won’t do or have. Read some stories online about people who have succeeded, especially the ones who had some fits and starts along the way. Failure is nothing but a fine-tuning of ideas and processes.

Get Back In Touch With Your Passion: Do whatever it takes to get back to basics. Why do you care so much about your goal or dream? Because it is what is special about your very soul, your contribution to the world, your unique design. It speaks to you because you are uniquely created to deliver it to the world. And that means doing it in little ways if the big ways haven’t supposedly panned out yet. If you are a writer, write. A painter, paint. A singer, sing. A community organizer, get people together. Don’t focus on only big results to confirm you are where you should be. Do what matters to you- feel it – and the results that matter most will come. That is the flow of life, and it can only be stopped if you resist it’s inevitable success. Do not give up on anything you truly have passion for.

Whatever you do, don’t give up on your dreams or on all of the hard work and choices you made to get this far. Remember that success comes as long as you keep going!

3 thoughts on “When To Give Up On A Dream

    • Beth Miller, LCSW, CEC says:

      Great! Keep going with that dream, lady! You are bound for success!

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